Djolife's Journey

STOP KONY 2012

2012-03-07T06:46:00.004-08:00

Hello world,

Here's the deal, there isn't much more to say about this than the video already says, but some of you might not want to spend 30 minutes out of your day to watch the video Koney2012 so I will briefly explain what its goal is in hopes that you will feel the conviction to share the video to bring more awareness on this issue.

First things first.

Who is Kony?

He is basically the African Hitler. The worst of the worst. He abducts children and uses them to build an army of rebels to kill their own families, even their parents! He steals little girls and uses them as sex slaves. He's abducted over 30,000 kids and is ruining the future of this generation. This affects each and every single one of us.
He has been charged for war crimes by the International Criminal Court in 2005, but unfortunately was able to escape. Most people don't even know he exists and yet he is impacting the entire world in a very negative manner, so we are fighting to "make Joseph Kony famous, not to celebrate him, but to raise support for his arrest and set a precedent for international justice."

I have a friend who's been personally affected by all of this. She's seen most of her family get killed and is now suffering the consequences of this man's actions by working her butt off in the US to provide for the rest of her family. She is 22 and has the mindset of a 40 year old who is constantly focused on providing for their family and she can't even enjoy life.
She's lost the belief that there is even a God out there due to all she's gone through.

Let's please put a stop to this.

This video is very well made, I mean REALLY well made and the 30 minutes feel like 30 seconds, so click on this link for more information about what Invisible Children is doing to stop this and find Kony, and see how YOU can help put an end to this tragedy.

Here is the video, in case you are interested. If you aren't interesting in watching it or don't have time but still feel like you'd like to make a difference, go to www.invisiblechildren.com and sign a pledge to share this video and bring awareness to this mission we have as human beings to find Kony and arrest him.

You can make a difference. We can all make a difference by joining towards one purpose and goal. Let that purpose be peace for all humanity...one country at a time.

Let's begin today.

"I object to violence because when it appears to do good the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent."
-- Mohandas K. Gandhi

"If the human race wishes to have a prolonged and indefinite period of material prosperity, they only got to behave in a peaceful and helpful way toward one another."
-- Winston Churchill
"I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to promote peace than our governments. Indeed, I think that people want peace so much that one of these days governments had better get out of the way and let them have it."

-- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Job offer!!

2012-03-01T07:28:00.000-08:00

Hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well what an exciting day for me :) I just got the long awaited phone call from Tracy the British lady I interviewed with last week who offered me a job as a stewardess with Condor Ferries!!!
I feel like it's to good to be true and am waiting for the catch. I don't think there is going to be a catch to this though, I think this is it. After not having worked for a year 1/2, I am finally going to work again. I am so excited!!!

Funny thing is I read something very encouraging yesterday and was planning on blogging about it today anyway.

So as I've mentioned earlier, I've been working really hard to find work here. I spent the first 3 weeks immersed in paper work and all the headaches that come with it. You see even though I'm French, I didn't have a lot of the rights since I've never lived here. It's as if I didn't exist in their system, so in order to get started, I had to fill out a lot of applications.

Once that was taken care, I had to focus on a job target, which I decided would be tourism/receptionist. Once that was done, I had to redo my resume and type out many different cover letters. Once that was done, I mailed them out, went to hotels to drop them off, went to different agencies that help you find work to fill out applications, etc etc...
I even sat in a room full of 50 or more applicants for over 2 hours waiting for one interview for a hotel receptionist at a 4 star hotel.
I also went to a meeting in order to get paid waitressing/receptionist training and took some tests to see if I could enter the official training and be hired by a 5 star hotel. I went to an all day job fair in a town an hour away from where I live. I got a job mentor, and a job counselor to help me along the way. I did mock interviews. I mean I tried it all. God gave me energy and motivation for a solid month and my sister in law to help out along the way.

It was an intense journey. I hated every single part of it. When I finally got this phone call for an interview, my hopes were up because this whole time I thought I hadn't been contacted due to lack of experience (which is a fact since it was the correlating point to all of my rejection letters).

So Condor Ferries, a mini cruise boat that goes to "paradise British Islands" off the coast of France on a daily basis, contacted me for an interview two weeks ago. I got the interview last week and it went above and beyond my expectations. I mean it was unreal. The interview was both in French and English and done by two extremely welcoming ladies, which immediately put me at ease.
The interview went well, and while waiting for my brother to pick me up, one of the ladies came out and grabbed me by the waist and invited me back into the office for coffee. I comfortably sat down with my soon to be bosses over a cup of coffee and we chit chatted until their following interviewee arrived.

I felt great and confident following that. I mean what an amazing environment to work in right?? Work on a boat as a stewardess. haha. It sounds kind of crazy fun!

So I want to talk to you a little bit about my frustrations/experiences/thoughts along this journey.

First of all, I had no idea I would end up in this cute little town called Saint Malo. I mean the Lord totally orchestrated that! Originally, as you all know, I was planning on living with family friends in Paris. I sort of wasted a week while being there mainly because of jet lag and lack of motivation to start the job searching process. I love the girls I lived with, in fact we still call each other to keep in touch; but unfortunately because they each already had lives prior to my arrival, they couldn't help me out with this long paperwork process and I didn't know where to start without any help.

A week after my arrival to France, my sister in law arrived with the kiddos from Senegal. She invited me to spend a week with her in Saint Malo, and so I packed a week worth of stuff and came. It was fun, I loved being with my niece and nephew and since she was in the middle of job searching as well, we tag teamed and did all the work together, which is exactly what I needed to jump start this process. Since all the paperwork got done here in Saint Malo, it just seemed like the job search process would be easier here as well. Plus I'd get to be with family. So I decided to stay :) I picked up my belongings from my friend's house two weeks ago, and here I am!! I do miss my friends in Paris though. womp womp.

I realized this is where God wanted me to be and I thank you all for the prayers because a few weeks ago, that was my biggest prayer request...to be where God wanted me to be.

After getting that prayer answered, of course instead of being content and praising God for answering this important question, I moved on to the next....why do you want me here??

I still don't know the answer to that (which is okay), but the Lord has opened doors for me and will continue to do so. Living here is still difficult but God promises me in Isaiah 43: 2-5 that He is right here with me.

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall no be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. or I am the Lord your God the Holy One of Israel, your Savior."

This is what I read yesterday that I found encouraging. (I'm going to bust out some Max Lucado, since you all I know how much I love him!)

"Make friends with whatever's next. Embrace it. Accept it. Don't resist it. Change is not only a part of life; change is a necessary part of God's strategy. To use us to change the world, he alters our assignments. Gideon: from farmer to general; Mary: from peasant girl to the mother of Christ; Paul: from local Rabbi to world evangelist. God transitioned Joseph from a baby brother to an Egyptian prince. He changed David from a shepherd to a king."

And Dorina: from film major to stewardess. haha. that sounds sort of ridiculous. I know this doesn't answer my question as to why I'm here, but it sure does reassure me and remind me that I don't necessarily need to know but simply to trust and embrace the experience as it comes.

Embrace your experience friends. The ride will be a far better one that way.

Thank you a million times for your prayers. Leave comments as to how I can better pray for you since it was after all, my secret new year's resolution :)

Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him. Psalm 37:7

Blessings friends.

Oh here are pictures of my future new job:

One of the three boats owned by the small 60 year old company

One of the British islands it travels to called Guernsey

The other island it travels to called Jersey

And the best part of this is that on my days off, I get to roam around these islands!! I cannot wait to take pictures of these places :)

Leap Day

2012-02-29T05:22:00.000-08:00

In honor of Leap day, I shall blog today! I mean why not right?

Before the movie "Leap Year" had come out, I'd never heard of a leap year before (vulnerable enough to show you my ignorance).

Funny how a movie can give you so much insight right? Hmmm....Speaking of having insight, I honestly feel like I haven't learned anything new in a long time. I mean I've learned bits and pieces of information here and there over the past couple of months...or even years...but I don't feel as if I've truly challenged my mind to learn anything new and this frustrates me.
I guess I know a little bit more about photography than I did before. I've been reading blogs and researching about it since I've purchased my new camera, but I can't say that I've learned a whole lot about it yet.

Well today is leap day and I simply don't want to take it for granted. An extra day in the year that we get every 4 years!!! Woah!!! The next leap time we'll have a leap year will be in 2016!!!

Who knows where in the world I'll be at that time? Will I still be in France (I hope not!), or will I be back in the US reunited with my loves!?? Will I have a full time job or still be living this crazy unstable life of mine?

Think about it. Where do you want to be a few years from now?

I always tell myself there is no point in thinking that far in advance because we do not control our destiny/fate/God's will for our lives. In fact I think to many of us humans over think the future and freak ourselves out for nothing. We spend so much time planning for what is ahead that we miss out on what's right before us.
But in some ways, it's good to think about the future. For one it helps us confront our fear of the future and face it head on. Secondly it gives us something to look forward to. I mean living day by day is great and all but there's nothing wrong with a little planning so you don't end up completely unprepared when life grabs you by the wrist and drags you along on this crazy roller coaster ride!

But then again, you can never plan enough so let go of your fears, and embrace today.

“Today is an ephemeral ghost...
A strange amazing day that comes only once every four years. For the rest of the time it does not "exist."

"This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

"Joy is the direct result of having God's perspective on our daily lives and the effect of loving our Lord enough to obey His commands and trust His promises."

"I'm missing my past but attempting to focus on the present, so I can better my future." Quote by ME :)

Happy Leap Day Yo!!

God's Kindness/Severity

2012-02-17T08:17:00.000-08:00

Bonjour :)

I should be job searching right now, but I've decided to take a one week vacation from that. This is the last day of my vacation, so I'm going to blog before I let another day go by without doing so.

I didn't really take a vacation, well let me explain. I'd unofficially-officially moved in with my sister in law and kiddos (love them!!) for a month while my brother was still in Senegal working on events/promoting his non profit organization Afreeca Chid (the website is in French, hope you can translate it if you don't speak French).

So while my brother was working in Senegal this past month, my sister in law and I have been going at it job wise. First of all you wouldn't IMAGINE all the paperwork I've had to do this past month to even begin the job searching process. It's been a long roller coaster ride. One in which the Lord has been extremely faithful. As always. He has blessed me with my sis-in-law, Aurelie, who's been a true servant by taking me anywhere and everywhere I needed to go for this whole process. I mean I have no words to express how much she's helped me!

I just got back from a week in Paris spent with dear friends and parents. I'm so blessed to have been able to spend some time with them. My parents are on their way to the US for a short very much needed sabbatical, so they decided to stop by here to see me for a few days.
My brother has also come back from Senegal a few days ago. It is my first time seeing him in 6 years (since his wedding), and my first time living with him in about 9 years. Prayers are welcome. :P haha

So now that we are back in Saint Malo, the job search resumes. Lord have mercy! OH I have an interview on tuesday the 21rst of February. PLEASE PRAYYYYY!!!!!

I'm attempting to find work in tourism, being a hostess/receptionist. I know... nothing to do with what I studied but the town I live in, Saint Malo, is very touristic because it's right on the coast that separates France and England; so as you can imagine, this type of job in this town would be perfect for me since I'm bilingual, friendly, good with people. etc...! Though I have all the capabilities of working in this field, I unfortunately have no experience whatsoever, which is what's blocking me right now.
And as for my true passions, photography/videography, I plan on either doing some freelancing and establishing myself in this beautiful town that doesn't have many photography/videographer artists, or I plan on exercising my skills while helping my brother with the promoting of his NPO, Afreeca Child.

As you can see, I'm not sure what I'm doing yet or why the Lord has brought me here. But that's okay. I was reading Romans this morning, and was oh so encouraged by it. Like the Lord was whispering sweet goods of hope into my ear and it went straight to my heart and warmed it up :)

You know I've had my many moments of frustration and "antsyness." When that happens, the Lord is probably pretty disappointed in me. In fact, I'm positive that he is but despite that he never fails to reassure me when I give Him a chance to speak or take the time to simply listen. (which I admit, through my stubborn personality isn't often!)

Romans 11: 22-24

In these passages, I am reminded of both God's sternness and his kindness. God is not one to be "messed" with. I think it's important for us to be reminded of that. God owes us NOTHING. We owe him EVERYTHING.
A lot of times we feel like the troubles that come our way are unfair. So often do I hear (and say) that life is SO unfair.
For example, I'd complain about being so far away from Jeremy and my friends and just say "Why is God allowing this, it's so unfair!!" (small example amongst many many other ones...I think you get the point)

Nonsense. Ridiculousness! Who am I to decide what is fair and what's not. Isn't God the author of all things and all times?? Isn't he the ultimate judge, and hasn't he always been? So being reminded of his sternness was in fact a great reminder. One that brings me to my knees and allows me to be humbled.
Nowadays, us Christians lack the fear of the Lord. We think we can do and say anything and always get away with it. How did we come to this? And what has made us believe that? *Think about it*

Of course, along with our Father's severity, comes his kindness for those of us who declare his son to be our Lord and Savior. In the midst of darkness/hard times/ disobedience we find grace/hope/joy.

These passages aren't threats, they are reminders/warnings. I love how God uses history/the past/what's happened to REMIND us of who HE is and who WE are/should be in/through HIM. It's simply logical. History repeats itself over and over again, and what better example to use than what's already happened.
Don't we do that as teachers/parents/students/brothers/sisters/friends to warn each other or give advice to the ones we care for.

Praise God for second chances. Can I hear a "AMEN"!? I mean let's be real, none of us would be here without second chances. We so often act like spoiled brats who take things for granted and yet this doesn't stop God from continuing to bless/provide/protect us from/with what we need to be vessels for his Kingdom.

Romans 11: 33-36

"Oh How great are God's riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways!
For who can know the Lord's thoughts?
Who knows enough to give him advice?
And who has given him so much that he needs to pay it back?
For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever. Amen!"

A prayer "Lord, thank you for humbling me. I don't want my days to end in futility. I want to be able to participate fully in what you're doing in my generation." (Beth Moore)

Pictures of where I live:
( I did not take these photos)

FEEL FREE TO COME VISIT ME :D

Paris, c'est pour la vie!

2012-01-13T17:48:00.000-08:00

So I was gonna blog today and then I got to tired and then I started emailing people and realized how relaxing it was to type (weird) so I decided to blog after all.

I had a blast today all by myself with my music, and camera walking around Paris today!

First things first, I strongly advise you women against wearing any type of heels, even if they are the shorter/comfortable kind, if you are going any place that you might possibly get lost in.

That being said, I can continue on. Alright so a couple days ago I clarified on facebook that I was not getting deported. A lot of people assume that since I had issues with the law and I'm leaving the country, it automatically means that I am getting deported.

Hmmm...that's not quite how it works. For those of you who have kept up with my journey, I'm assuming you know how my situation played out. For those of you that are little blurry on the details, well basically, I didn't get deported, I was accorded "Voluntary Departure" which basically means that I was asked to leave but I can come back as long as I have a valid Visa.
When people are deported, they are usually taken to jail first, and then once they are "kicked" out of the country, they are never allowed back. In some cases, they can come back after a certain period of time. None of that happened to me by the grace of God.

All of this to say that when granted the Voluntary Departure, I was given a document that I had to bring to the US Embassy in Paris to show that I had indeed departed the U.S territory and arrived where I told the government I would arrive.
So this morning, I had to drag my booty out of bed at 5am in order to take the Metro/RER to Paris. There's usually a really long line in front of the Embassy for visa requests(so many people wanna go there :p) so it's always smart to get there even before it opens in order to get a spot.

One of the girls I live with works as an English teacher in Paris, so I was able to ride a metro with her half of the way and then I was on my own for the rest of the day. YIKES.
I got to the Embassy and was #4 line. Which you're probably thinking...Great job!!! That's amazing! Well that's what I thought until I was told that for the document I had, I needed to come back two hours later..... 0__o
I was super grateful though because the guards were extremely friendly towards me. Not in a creepy way. Just genuinely felt bad for me and were simply nice. It always helps to have a smile on your face. One smile can go a long ways!

So I figure...why not start my rediscovering (since it wasn't my first time there) Paris now, at 7:40am (between walking to the metro station, taking a metro, getting a connecting train, and actually finding the embassy...i got there 1h30 after originally leaving the Duplex I live in).
So I asked around and found a little French Boulangerie (pastry shop/Cafe) and my server was super comical and sweet towards me. Then I got a little laughter with him and a couple that walked in to get baguettes and espressos. It was just a good environment to be in. Cheerful. Jolly. Relaxing. Etc....

It was my first time ordering anything here in France in over 5 years. So I didn't know what to ask for. Didn't know whether to leave a tip or not. Didn't know anything really. Which is so hard for me, because a lot of times I wonder if people think I'm an idiot when I ask such obvious questions, since my French is pretty good. Most people simply assume I've always lived here and just have a "weird" (American---no offense to Americans, since I still love your style) sense of style. Same with when I first moved to the US. I didn't have any type of accent yet everything was so foreign to me and I asked many questions or would break many unwritten rules that I didn't know about, and people just viewed me as a "socially off" human being. I'm not complaining about being bilingual, I'm just saying it's got its cons to.

Well if I've learned something today is that, sometimes you just NEED to put your pride aside and simply ASK. I have that typical male mentality (I doubt any males read my blog, but if you do, I apologize for stereotyping) that hates asking for help. In fact, for reading my blog, I will reward your patience (cus I blabber a lot) and let you in on a little secret of mine. I am actually pretty insecure when it comes to my intellect. I don't think I'm intellectually smart. There ya have it. It's true. I know I'm smart in other ways, but not in this one, but because I am fast learner (I also forget fast lol), I love to observe and decide I can figure things out on my own.
I think that is where this male prideful mentality stems from. My intellectual insecurities lead me to pride which leads me to stubbornness.

Anyways, I've learned today that even though observing does help me learn, sometimes simply asking will just save the prideful like myself from a migraine.

So here I am at this little Cafe. Loving life.

This was before the couple arrived. They ended up sitting on that green leather seat in front of me :)

I ordered my first real croissant in Forever, and I got a Cappuccino. After asking him many questions such as "Do I pay you when I'm done or do I leave it on the table? Is this a Cafe or pastry shop. Do you even make coffee here? Can I get a coffee to go? Does this place have restrooms? Can I have some change for the metro..." and snapping a few more pictures, I was on my way back to the US Embassy.

Back at the embassy all my guard buddies were still there and we were joking around and all and finally they let me in earlier than I was originally supposed to. I ended up waiting about 1h30 to get the document deposited, signed, and ended up getting a copy for myself. It all worked out!

While waiting around, I observed a ton. I may have creeped some out. Oh well. Didn't retain much information though. Since I wasn't necessarily interacting with anyone for the most part and wasn't fully awake yet. The one piece of info I retained however, will hopefully have a great affect on me. I was wowed by how freakin' stylish Europeans are. I've known it, but witnessing it is a whole other story! I got really inspired today. Which is good because my roomies are beginning to question my style more and more :/ lol

So apparently we are back to the 70s which makes sense. Right? ....

Here are examples of things I saw today

Here's a link to more style inspiration for the winter.

http://www.tendances-de-mode.com/2011/04/15/2124-tendances-automne-hiver-2011-2012

After the embassy stuff got taken care of, I decided since I was already in Paris, why not explore. So I cranked my Ipod while listening to "Good Life" by One Republic and just went wandering around, minding my own business, and smiling at strangers. :) while taking pictures of course. (the sun had just come out at this point.)

At one point, My ipod's battery was low and I needed the directions to get back to the place I live...so I decided to take a picture of them in case my Ipod did die. which it eventually did about 1h later.

So all in all, quite a fun day. I can't really say I met any particular individual or had any crazy conversations or adventures, but after spending a few hours in Paris, I realized I wasn't the only one who was out of place. I guess one would expect that, especially around the Eiffel Tower with all the tourists that travel miles and miles to see this somewhat imposing and awkwardly shaped tower; but I soon found out that even the French didn't know their way around a lot of times. I can't tell you the amount of times that French people were asking me questions.
At one point a girl around my age asked me questions on my way home while using the RER and I confidently told her which train to take after double checking the map. She was so grateful that she bought me a chocolate bar. As soon as she hopped on that train, something in me didn't feel right and I looked at the signs that were behind me and realized the train she took was going the complete opposite way of her destination. I felt HORRIBLE. I wished I'd taken her phone number and could text her, but I still don't have a phone. So all I could do was pray that she somehow realized it and got off before it was to late. At that point, I realized that I was just as lost as she was. It wasn't till 2h30 later that I finally got home.... hence the advice on the heeled shoes!
Even after FINALLY getting to my destination, I unfortunately arrived at a completely different exit and could not find my way home.
Luckily, my bad experience of getting locked into a cemetery yesterday evening (at sundown) paid off. I was able to locate various reference points and taller landmarks that helped me find my way back.

Yea yesterday evening my curiosity took the best of me. I wandered into a graveyard to take pictures of French coffins and such, and ended up staying in there far to long because on my way out, the gate I'd entered into was locked and no one was around. The sun was setting and though I was trying really hard not to panic, I couldn't help but feel my heart beating faster and faster as I took each step. Finally I caught eye of what seemed to be a narrow passage leading towards a separate part of the gate that had by chance been unlocked. I did have to squeeze through a few caskets to get through. Just writing about it is giving me the chills. I got out of there so fast!!! It was ridiculous. Plus I didn't have a phone, so Lord knows what could've happened otherwise. I dodged a bullet.

Well at least I think some of the pictures were worth it. I hope.

This is actually the first cemetary pic
I took. I wasn't planning on going in, but I just could
not help myself.

I really am grateful for these, they were my landmarks
that brought me back home today!

And because I don't like ending my blogs on scary morbid notes.......Here are is a quick summary of things I learned today. lol.

Do not be afraid to ask
In order to find yourself, you need to get lost first
Smile. Even when you don't want to. You don't know where that smile can take you
Europeans' style rock/back in the 70s
Be friendly to strangers because you might need one someday yourself
Don't ever wear heels if you think you'll get lost
Life in France is expensive

And here are a few more pictures from my day that I'd like to share. I do plan on posting a LOT more on my facebook photography page soon! http://www.facebook.com/pages/Djolife-Photography/114008375351893

Thank you for joining me on my journey :) Please continue to pray for guidance.

PS: I get to possibly meet my niece for the first time tomorrow and spend some quality time with my sister in law and kiddos! Eeek!!!! :D

New chapter of my life

2012-01-10T03:24:00.000-08:00

Dear Faithful Readers :)

This blog post shall be my 2nd one of the new year 2012, even though it will be the first one you will probably read. Confused?

Well let me explain. I typed up a blog entry on Jan 7th, 2012 while sitting at the airport waiting for my plane to arrive. The content of that entry was much more depressing than this one will be, I promise. I haven't had the opportunity to upload it yet because being in a "foreign" country means having to adapt to a lot of new things. As I am attempting to adapt to this new culture, so are my all of my electronic devices. They each need adaptors and well I haven't had the chance to purchase adaptors to plug in my laptop/camera/externel hardrive etc..

Do you see what I did there? :) Alright, that was super lame, sorry.

Thankfully, the room I'm in has a computer with wifi so I am able to get on here as often as I want to until my laptop is up and running again! I also have a phone in my room that can call the US for free :D
Both of these things come in quite handy when my jet lag is messing around with my head and the 6 hour difference doesn't allow me to connect as well as i'd like to with my American world.

So far so good. I haven't cried since my departure (definitely did before though), so either I'm still in denial, or all of your prayers have been heard; in which case I thank you.

The actual trip was surprisingly smooth. Got there on time, going thorugh security was a breeze (even though I had no liquids in any zip lock bags and have all of this jewelry on me). The flight itself felt long because I was sitting in between two ladies and could not get comfortable (I took sleeping pills hoping they would help me overlook that but they did not). We landed on time. I met an American girl at the airport and we embarked on a journey to find our luggage which was successfull for both of us! Hoping to meet up with her sometime soon! The people picking me up found me right away (i didnt know who to expect). Got in the car and they drove me straight over to my new neighborhood, home, and life.

I got to Alfortville (10min away from Paris) around 9:40, said hello to my new family (The Peraste family), they invited me to go to church service with them, I said sure, changed real quick and headed out to worship the Lord in French!!!

Service was good. Very different than what I've become used to but also quite similar in different and comforting ways.
It felt good to sing old French worship songs that I grew up singing at home in Senegal. It was also nice to see a few lovely familiar faces that I recognized from the last time I'd been here. I was "forced" to stand up and introduce myself, which I hate doing lol. But it is good for me to do things out of my comfort zone.

Though I've heard better sermons, I was so pleased to hear the Holy Spirit speaking directly to me throughout the entire service! From the announcements all the way to the final prayer.

The sermon itself was about friendships (real tangible solid neverending friendhsips) and how God doesn't solely view us as His children but also as His friend.
The teacher used the example of being engaged to describe how our relationship with God should be. When two people love each other and get engaged to each other, they take that time of engagement to really get to know each other. They are so excited about their futur together that they want to spend every second with each other to create a solid foundation for their lives. They constantly talk to each other, and they simply love being in each other's presence.
This should be how our relationship with the Lord is. Yet it's so easy to let other things come in the way of this fire and passion that comes and goes in and out of our daily lives.

Along the lines of frienships and closeness, he talked about the importance of friends. How friends are blessed from above and it is important to not only pray for your friends but also pray for your actual friendships. You know you love someone, when you pray for them, but you also know how much of a value a friend is to you when you begin to ask the Lord to really protect and nourish that friendship. While God uses friendships to challenge us, bless us, ans help us grow, the ennemy tries to tear them appart to keep us from being blessed and growing and being challenged.

This spoke straight to me because I feel as if for some unknown reason the Lord has always blessed me with meaningful friendships. Granted some were only meant to be in my life for a season and accepting that has been quite difficult at times, but either way, no matter where and when, I've been blessed with friends. Everytime I move again, I fear of losing some of these meaningful relationships, but this reminds me that through the distance and the time, if I put an effort to pray for these friendships, God will continue to bless me with them.
and that was a beautiful reminder.

Another reason this sermon hit home was that secretly, I had decided that my new year's resolution would be to spend more intentional time praying for others once I got here. I say secretly because, year after year I have failed at keeping new year's resolutions, so even though I did make one in my heart, I didn't feel the need to announce it this time around.

Well here I go announcing it again. Maybe God wants me to announce it. Maybe not. Either way it's out and I have even come up with a way to challenge myself with this resolution. I plan on writing down the names of people I want to intentionally pray for and put them in a bowl from which I will pick a name out each day and not only pray for that person but also find a way (facebook, twitter, email, text, phonecall) to contact that person and see how they are doing.

This whole challenge sounds easy to do right now since I am not doing a whole lot but I am sure once work picks up, it will really become a challenge, which I hope you can keep me accountable to..somehow.

Speaking of work, I am sure you are all wondering what the plan is from here on out. Glad you asked. I actually REALLY need prayers on this topic.

I have the opportunity to work as a full time live in nanny in Switzerland for a family that would need me to start in February yet I am currently and actively searching for work here in France. I like the family I live with, I am fairly close to Paris and I can easily meet people and have random conversations with strangers (which I loooove to do) because I speak French (which I would not be able to do as easily in Zurich, since they speak German.) (ps typing on this French keyboard requires a lot of focus and attention!!!).

Here is how I feel right now. I feel as if I want to stay in France in the hopes of finding a job (anything really, its been so long since I have worked that I am ready to work just about anywhere). The dilemna here is that along with staying here comes more of a chance of making new friends, getting nice and comfy in a completely new environment, loving where I am and eventually having to let go of all of that again and basically go through everything I just went through in my life.
If I were to nanny in Zurich, I would most likely get attached to the family but probably not go out much and the departure would be much easier I feel.

See, the problem is I have no idea how long God wants me here or wherever I am supposed to be so please please pray for guidance and peace in this wholde dilemna going on in my mind. I just want to go where God wants me to be. really that is the bottomline.

I think I've said more than enough for today. Thanks for reading :) BLESSINGS!!!

Dorina

ps pics from my last month in the US coming soon

Airport bloggin'

2012-01-07T15:30:00.000-08:00

I am sitting here at the airport basically feeling like crap. I’m exhausted. I’m scared. I’m sad. I’m kind of frustrated at God and sitting next to a guy who smells horrible. I know most of these feelings will pass, but as of now, that is exactly how I feel and I’m not ashamed to express it.

I just said so many goodbyes (for the second time this year) and just parted ways with my best friend/the love of my life, Jeremy, and I do not understand why this needed to happen.

I know God is compassionate and has a reason for having for all of this while having my best interest in mind. I also know there is a reason for bringing me in and out of Huntington like He did. I’m currently trying to cope with the fact that he is taking me away from this place that He’s used to shape and mold me through so many experiences and people. I’m also attempting to be optimistic.

I have found things to look forward to as I head to France. Things such as French bread. Meeting my niece and seeing my bro, sis in law, and nephew again. Rekindling the flames of old friendships. Using my new camera to take pictures of a refreshingly new environment. Growing closer to the Lord. Meeting new people and having an impact on their lives while they impact mine. "Relearning" French. Not living out of suitcase anymore. The possibility of working again at last. And so much more.

I understand that God has a gréât plan for this life He’s given me, I just wish I could get a break sometimes and just settle down somewhere for longer than just a few months, but then again this is not how the Lord created me. I am trying to find equilibrium though. A simple balance between my selfish human nature and embracing the way the Lord is able to use this human mess for mine and turn it into something glorious and beautiful. I selfishly just want to be with the people I love and live an easy, fun life. But God wants me to continue to grow while challenging me through these journeys.

And yet again everything in life is all bout the way that you look at it. I say this because so many people "envy" me for moving to France, and as I try to appreciate this new adventure, I am also attempting to hold on to the hope of not losing the people that are currently in my life that I cherish so much through the distance.

Perspectives are so interesting to me.

I bought a new camera about 2 weeks ago. A camera I’ve been wanting for years. Of course I wait till I’m the most broke to purchase it, but I love it. So excited about it. I’m still Learning a lot from it and hopefully will get comfortable with it enough to take legit photo shoots.

I went on a walk the day that I finally got it in the mail to play around with it. As I was snapping photos left and right, I eventually felt extremely discouraged. I wasn’t patient enough with it, and wasn’t understanding some of the settings. It’s one thing to have that eye for an great shot, but it’s a whole other thing to be able to become one with your camera and know the Relationship between all the settings so well that you don’t even have to think twice before knowing exactly what to do in order to get your photo to turn out exactly the way you want it to, leaving you with minimum amount of editing left to do to later.

I was standing in front of a gorgeous scenery, and yet still wasn’t able to capture anything to my liking. I finally sat down and just took a break from it all. I talked to God for a little bit. He told me to Be still and know that He God and that He was right there. I listened to Him some more, and out of nowhere the sun came out and led me to look at my scenery again, from a different angle. I was sitting down this time, and there it was. I don’t know how to explain it, but I grabbed my camera as this rush of creativity hit me and started shooting and got this :

Be Still and Know that I am God
Psalm 46:10

All I had to do was sit down, and look at my scenery from a different perspective to catch what I needed/wanted.

Life is like looking through the lens of a camera, if you shift your angle view or perspective, you can see life in a completely different light.

I am trying to look at this adventure from a different angle. Not from the grumpy, sad, hopeless angle of my missing my friends and having to leave my comfortable lifestyle behind ; but instead looking at it from the angle of everyone else who seems so envious of my new journey in France, or wherever the Lord ends up taking me.

As of now, I do not have any plans in case you were all wondering. I am staying with family friends to start out and will look for work in Paris, while keeping an eye out for nannying opportunities in other countries.

As far as Jeremy is concerned, we are viewing this long distance as an opportunity to strenghthen our Relationship in a way that we can learn to better communicate with each other while continuing to learn from each other.

For those of you who know him, you know what a Bright light he is to whomever he comes in contact with. I pray and hope that this light continues to affect many more people in the midst of this sad chapter in our lives. I miss him so much already. We parted teary eyed and hopeful. Please keep us in your prayers.

May the Lord bless each and every one of you and I trust that you will have an excellent new year 2012 !

Blessings,

Crescent Roll Awesomeness

2011-11-30T14:11:00.000-08:00

Oh Hello!

I hope everyone is enjoying this last day of November. We are off to a good December start with the snow and all :)

It's been such a weird fall, but I've thoroughly enjoyed the warmth. Now I am able to accept the cold after feeling so spoiled!

SO as many of you probably know I've been doing a lot of Pinterest lately and I've discovered wonders on it!

Not only have I found motivation do some simple daily workout routines, I've also found joy in baking and cooking new discoveries!

One of the discoveries I've made on Pinterest is how phenomenal crescent rolls are. They are so versatile in the sense that one can use them for so many varieties of goods :) both sweet and salty. This might be no news to you, but it was to me and I'm so glad I found that out!!

So I want to share two ways I've used crescent rolls in the past week, and hope you can try one or both of these easy recipes at home!!

The first one is the Cinnamon Cheesecake or otherwise called Sopapilla Cheesecake that I'm assuming you've seen me write about on facebook :) It is so good, so easy and I can't get enough of it!!

First, here is what you will be needing:

2 (16 ounces) cans of Crescent Rolls
1 1/2 C Sugar
1 tsp Vanilla extract
1/2 cup melted Butter
2 packs of cream cheese (8 ounce) softened
1 tbsp ground Cinnamon

1.So at first you will want to preheat the oven ( I always forget to do that and end up waiting for foreeever) to 350 degrees.

2. Then in a 9x13 pan, you are going to spread the entire roll of crescent rolls on the bottom of the pan.

3. Next you will mix the cream cheese with the 1 Cup of Sugar. ( the other 1/2 a cup will be used later), and the vanilla extract until smooth. Once you feel like you have creamy mixture, layer it on top of the sheet of crescent rolls and layer the 2nd sheet of crescent rolls on top of the cheesecake mixture.

4. Your final steps consist of brushing the melted butter on the layer of crescent rolls, and sprinkle the top with a mixture of the remaining sugar and cinnamon.

Place in oven for 30 min or until golden. and VOILA!!!

I advise you to let it cool before serving or devouring it :) I once made a mini one that I didn't have to wait as long for it to cool so I could eat it ASAP!

And even though it doesn't look all that pretty, it tastes so very yummyyyyy!!!

So there ya have it. Here is what it looks like when finished.

Oh by the way, I made this as a thanksgiving dessert and brought it over to Jeremy's house where his family and mine were finally able to meet.
Here are a few pictures of the afternoon spent in Westerville, OH.

Mom, Mr. Pope, and I patiently waiting :)

Most of us gathered

Mr. Pope

My wonderful Jeremy

Alright now onto the salty. I'm not sure why I started out with the dessert, but anyways moving on. Next on the list were the Chicken Roll-ups I made last night.

They took longer than I had expected (1h30 because of the shredding and my many distractions) but they were really good, easy to share with others, and really easy to make as well!

For this one, you will need:

1 package of cream cheese (8 ounce)
2 cans of Crescent rollups
4 shredded chicken drumsticks
bread crumbs
1 1/2 C of Shredded Chedar Cheese
1 C of shredded Monterey Jack
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper

DISCLAIMER: I didn't really follow this recipe to the T. But I will share the "original" recipe with you :)

Oven should be preheated to 350 degrees

1.So first I boiled the chicken by placing it in medium hot water for about 35 minutes. You don't have to use drumsticks, I like the dark part of chicken better which is why I used these, but you can really use any type of shredded chicken.

While the chicken was boiling, I prepped the rest of the recipe...

2. I mixed the softened cream cheese with the shredded cheese in a bowl. ( I just used whatever shredded cheese was in the fridge but would like to use the Monterey Jack and Cheddar next time.)

3. Find bread crumbs as you want, but what I did was use a regular piece of white toast and just stripped it to small pieces with my hands. It took forever. I'm sure there is an easier and quicker way. But this is what I got.

OKay. So. Not gonna lie, I got a little hungry while waiting for the chicken to boil and the cream cheese mixture is not that good of a snack to munch on SO I busted out one of my favorite snacks of all time and it did the job quite well :)

Skinny Parmesan pretzels and Roasted Red Pepper hummus!!!

4. Once the chicken is thoroughly cooked go ahead and shred it. This is the part that takes a long time!! I'm assuming doing this with a friend or spouse would be much quicker. Or you could always buy already shredded chicken :)

Once shredded, add the salt and pepper and whatever other spices you'd like to season your chicken with. I personally like more taste than the average Joe, so this is what I used to season it.

5. Add the chicken to the cream cheese and cheese mixture. Then put the mixture on yummy crescent rolls like so...

and roll them up!!

The original recipe suggests 2 cans of crescent rolls. I would suggest 3 or perhaps even 4 because I had a lot of chicken cream cheese mixture left over.

I thought I'd be creative and fry the mixture up in balls of dough, but that was a bad idea. (well I didn't like them, but Jeremy's roommates did so I don't know how much of a fail it was). Probably because I've never fried anything in my life while at home before.

So you could either make more of these OR come up with another great way of using the leftover chicken cream cheese mixture.

6. Finally, brush butter on top of the rolls and top them with the bread crumbs, which surprisingly stuck on pretty well!

and 25 min later.....here's the result....and it tasted good!

Alright that's all I got for now. I hope you enjoyed it!!! YAY CRESCENT ROLLS!!! :)

Who said this journey couldn't involve great food along the way?? :)

Confession. I'm scarred!

2011-11-20T12:50:00.000-08:00

Hello!

Disclaimer. these thoughts were jotted down in my journal and don't necessarily all make sense or flow with each other.

Recently I’ve been reading back through some of my old journals because it’s something I like to do everytime I complete a journal. I just got done completing my 2009-2011 journal and the concensus of that year and a half is that I always seemed to be on the pursuit of something. A job. A boyfriend. A purpose. Expectations fulfilled. Something.

I mean I’ve gone from Indiana to Colorado, to California, back to Indiana and now moving to France in a 2 year time frame (kind of didn’t have much of a choice for the France one lol!) Let’s not forget that I also tried going to Canada. Haha.
I was telling God the other night how grateful I was that He’s created me with all of these passions but as long as I’m not doing anything with them, I feel lost and somewhat pointless. It seems to me that there’s always going to be something "missing" as long as I keep chasing something tangeable rather than focusing on the Spiritual and my Relationship with God, I will still feel as if something were missing.
I need to stop chasing the "what is next" question and just focus on "what is now" aka the present, otherwise I’ll fly through life without truly LIVING. And I’ll just wake up someday not knowing how I got whereever I am at that point.
Even this morning, I shot a quick thought up to God and asked him to "Help me not to only rejoice about the futur when I have somethig to look forward to." I mean it’s normal to get that tingly feeling of excitement in your gut when you know something fun or great is about to happen and you are looking forward to it. That, however, should not be the only time we get excited or rejoice.
I frustrate myself when I do that and I think that's okay that I get frustrated at myself. I think that just means that I’m aware of some things that I need to change. In fact I am not as hard on myself as you’d think. I give myself a lot more grâce than I really should :/ and unfortunately I forget that grace is God’s job, not mine.
So all of this to say that just because I don’t know what’s in store for me with this moving to France business, that does not mean I can’t simply rejoice today and rejoice for the futur and what God has in store.

And if I’m really honest with myself, I’m actually pretty scared of moving, I have this tough, adventurous, spontaneous persona through my lust for life and adventure but I’ve actually been avoiding thinking about this move due to fear. I choose not to let these fears control but they are ever so present in my heart and mind.
I am scared of being lonely (especially after reading my previous journal, I did not handle loneliness well at all !). I am scared to discover life without Jeremy by my side. I am scared of not finding a job. I am scared of losing some very good friends of mine. I am scared of not finding a community (especially after 6 years of having the gréât community that I’ve had). I am scared of people that I care about from the US completely forgetting that I even exist. Sigh. I am basically scared of year 2010 to happen all over again. It really was a hard year but then again that’s the year I grew closest to the Lord, as if God just needed to strip me of everything and everyone in order to reach my full attention. And if that needs to happen AGAIN. Then let’s do it !!
After journaling this, I read a book and randomly opened it and this is what it said :
"Biographies of bold disciples begin with chapters of honest terror. Fear of death. Fear of failure. Fear of loneliness. Fear of a wasted life. Fear of failure to know God."
My immédiate thought after Reading this was "did I not JUST journal about this !? "
I am grateful that God finds every way possible to simply remind me that « He is there. »
"Faith that begins with fear will end up nearer to the Father. " We cannot go where God is not. So even though I have no idea where this life, path, road, whatever you want to call it, is taking me and who will be there, I know one thing for sure is God’s promise that He will be right there every step of the way !

God is so good to me. To all of us. Let us rejoice and be reminded that in the midst of fear, we can rejoice for God is with us !
Also, one thing I want to encourage everyone to do is to write down their fears on a piece of paper, journal, or even a text message to themselves. Wherever or however you want tp. I’ve done this many a times in the past and it’s always so beautiful a year or two later to read back and be able to look back and see how God answered, provided, calmed, or took away each of these fears.

Blessings to each of you. Much love.
Hope you enjoyed the weekend !!!
Djo

What I've been up to these past few months

2011-11-17T13:15:00.000-08:00

Hello fellow readers :)

You might be confused as to why I am blogging on here. Basically I realized that as fun and exciting as my old blog was, it was way to complicated to update each month. I built that blog from scratch and needless to say, in order to keep it fun and exciting, it required a lot of work.

Now this may come to a surprise to some of you (not really) but I'm generally somewhat of a lazy person, and even though I have ALL of the time in the world, just the thought of rebuilding a new page for each month of the year was very unappealing to me, which led me to basically never blog!

SOOOO the other day, I was reminded that I used to blog for a specific class of mine and had used blogspot. I therefore decided to look it up and to my surprise, my blog still exists!!

I just spent a few hours transferring all of my blog entries from the old blog and now I am writing to announce that this is the blog I will be using from now and and I really hope that it makes a difference on how much I blog from now on in comparison to how much I've blogged within the past 10 months (3 times haha).
Hopefully it makes a big difference.

I have 15 minutes to share a bit of what's new in my life, which is quite convenient because since my last entry, not a whole lot is new!

Ever since I've found out about my being "allowed" to leave the U.S. I've felt so much peace. It was literally as if a HUGE load had been taken off of my shoulders. It was such a beautiful day :)
I spent it with my wonderful boyfriend and my parents. I was able to be with my parents the following week and after their departure, I just went back through my normal routine. Basically volunteering at Fredrick's, babysitting, taking pictures, and spending time with loved ones!

My birthday has gone by and I was able to celebrate with good friends part of my community!

The week prior to my birthday, I had decided to start a Master Cleanse. Some of you may have heard of it! It's a 10 day fast that consists of drinking nothing but water, herbal tea, and a lemonade that contains Cayenne Pepper and Maple syrup. The purpose of this cleanse is to clear out your toxins and allow you to sort of push a "reset" button on your body and help you restart your diet.
The Cleanse was successful other than the fact that I had gotten sick prior to starting it and I think that the mixture of my body getting rid of my toxins (lots of mucus. gross I know!) and the lack of food, and lack of medicine, probably didn't help. I got sick again but decided to push through. I only did it for 8 days because it generally takes about two days to ease back in into a regular diet, and I wanted to be able to eat on my birthday, which so happened to be on the 10th day of the Cleanse.
I'm glad I tried it although I hope to try it another time when I know I can do the full 10 days and when I'm not sick!

Hmmm what else...Oh I've been able to take an engagement photoshoot of one of the most amazing people I personally know. Marissa Scheiber. She is a very dear friend of mine who means a lot to me, and it was such a privilege for me to capture her and Luke's love for each other! It was great finally meeting Luke, the wonderful man I had heard so much about! They were so fun to work with and I was pleased with the results :) Here are a few of my favorites.

For more of these, go to www.facebook.com/pages/Djolife-Photography/114008375351893

Also that following weekend, one of my all time best friends Megan Crawford got engaged to a solid guy named Daniel Schroeder and I was super pumped to be the creeper in the bushes who got to capture the moment!! Can't you just see me doing that? It's what I was born to do baby! Just kidding! Anywho here's a little bit of what I was able to get...

Aren't they so adorable!?!? :) I may also be taking some of their engagement pictures as well, which I am totally stoked about!!!
My heart does break at the thought of not being at their wedding. :( In fact Megan had asked me to be a bridesmaid but I had to decline since I will most likely be in France :(
No worries though, she is setting up a computer with skype so that I can witness every minute of it! :)
It'll be just as if I were there!

So on monday mornings, I've been able to do a daycare at College Park Church, which is a Church basically right on Huntington University campus, and so happens to be situated right in front of one of my friend's apartment.
So most sunday nights I get dropped off at my friends' apt on campus and wake up the following morning and do the day care for a couple of hours. I then end up just staying at her apt until I finally decide to go home, which usually ends up being on a wednesday.
After spending a day or two at home with my roommates, I end up spending the weekend with Jeremy, whether it be in Huntington or in Goshen.

I am very excited about the weeks to come because I will be doing some traveling!! And not many enjoy the thrill and excitement of traveling as much as I do!!
This weekend there is a possibility that I will be going to Michigan to watch a Michigan State football game. Jeremy's best friend since age 1 is the leading receiver for their team, and we might be able to get tickets to watch him play on his senior night! I am then going to be able to spend Thanksgiving in Ohio with Jeremy's family. The sweet part about this is that my parents fly out back to Senegal the week after thanksgiving, and God willing they will find a vehicle to meet up with us in Ohio. Parents meeting each other. Exciting!
A couple of days after Thanksgiving, I am flying to Colorodo to visit my best friend, Lysiane, on her birthday! This is Jeremy's Christmas gift to me :)
From Colorado I will hopefully be able to fly to Philadelphia to watch over a 2 month old baby named Samuel, while his mother does a bone marrow transplant that could possibly save someone's life!!! I am most excited about this! What a privilege! When Libby (Samuel's mother) asked me, I was so grateful! I mean what a blessing to be a part of this experience! I do not know for sure whether this is really happening, but it most likely will and I am very excited (as you can probably already tell)!

After these travels I will more than likely be going back to Huntington and start attacking my belongings (sorting them out basically) to prepare myself for the big move!

So there ya have it! leave comments if you please.

Blessings to all of you!!

D.J.O.

Big News :)

2011-08-05T06:50:00.000-07:00

A Black woman’s haïr is unfairly hard to take care of. I do have a point to this, believe it or not. It might be a stretch but just bare with me here and if anything, you might get an education on "Black Culture" :)

I got this from an article, which will shed light on where I am going with this :

"Very tight braiding or weaving is linked to a permanent type of hair loss that affects many African American women, new research suggests.

While the findings can't prove hair grooming is at the root of the problem, women might still want to take them into consideration, said Dr. Angela Kyei, who worked on the study.

"I won't tell you not to braid your hair, but I don't want you to braid it so tightly that you need to take pain medication," said Kyei, of the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio.

Prolonged pulling at the hair strands may cause inflammation of the hair follicle, which has been shown to lead to scarring. In principle, that could lead to a type of balding that dermatologists call central centrifugal cicatricial alopecia, or scarring hair loss.

This type of balding starts at the top of the scalp and slowly spreads to the rest. It occurs only in black women. Because there is no treatment for it, Kyei decided to try to find out what is causing it instead.

Observations from the 1960s had hinted it was related to hot-comb straightening, but little research has looked at other explanations."

(If you want more on this: here is the article http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42541362/ns/health-skin_and_beauty/t/black-womens-hair-loss-tied-braiding-weaving/)

Here is a tid bit on what I (should) go through on a day to day basis.

When I don’t get my haïr braided, I have to take care of it myself, which is almost as painful and time consuming as getting it braided.

My hair is so hard to handle, that I prefer cutting it. In order to cut it and keep it "cute" or as some may say "presentable" I need money to maintain short hair. So that option goes down the drain real fast (especially considering the situation I’m in ).

So when I do decide to finally handle my type of haïr, I start out by washing it with what should be spécial shampoo, but I settle with regular shampoo that I can afford, and then I have to put all sorts of oils and creams in it to keep it healthy, then after that I Blow dry it strand by strand using a round haïr brush. Once that is done, I go strand by strand again over it with a haïr straightener and then I apply a little more haïr cream bécause all of that heat can break off and damage my haïr just like that.

Once that is done and I feel fresh and good, I refuse to tie my haïr because once I tie it in any shape or form, it remains in that shape or form, and in order to put it down again, I have to straighten it all over again. I also avoid wetting it at all costs otherwise it frizzes up and I have to restart the procèss all over again !

Also, at night, I am supposed (I rarely do this) to bobby pin my haïr and cover it with a spécial night haïr cover so that the next day it can look similar to the way it did the day before. I have to consistently keep it creamed and healthy otherwise it just breaks off.

Another thing that you need to understand is that growing up, I grew up around a culture that taught me that my haïr is my beauty. If I am dressed up, have makeup on, and fine looking jewelry but my haïr doesn’t look good, then I don’t look good. Period.

This is a small insight on what goes on in a black woman’s mind when she puts so much care into her haïr.

Now, I will confess that I rarely take care of my haïr the way I just described it. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I actually did all of those things consecutively as I just explained the process. But most black women really do do that and MORE in order to maintain their hair. Why? Because it's worth it :)

Last week I decided I was tired of doing this and wanted braids again. Living in Huntington, however, brings quite a challenge to this wish becoming an actuality. It is so hard to find a person who can braid.

I was fortunate enough to meet a random girl named Melissa, who Works at Pizza Hut and started talking to me about haïr. I proceeded to ask her if she knew how to braid. To my surprise (my being stereotypical and forgetting that white girls can also braid) she knew how to do weaves, extensions, corn rows, designs, singles, etc…

I got so excited that I asked for her number and figured I might as well try her out.

She seemed really sweet and had just moved hère so I figured…why not…if anything, I can use this as an opportunity to minister to her and/or just provide her with a new group of friends :)

We arranged a date, and she braided my haïr. Corn rows with extensions and designs. I was so excited, I couldn’t contain myself !

I underestimated her because before starting I told her not to be afraid to braid as tightly as she can. If you read the part of the article that talks about tight braids and didn’t understand the point, basically we want our braids to be tight so that they will last. We grow up hearing that "beauty is pain" for this particular reason. The process's time varies depending on the braider/the technique/the hair style/extensions or no extensions. I've sat down for about 10 hours straight before. This time it took about 4 hours, which isn't to bad.

She braided my haïr SO tight that not only did it hurt during the process (the type of pain that makes you feel sick to your stomach), but it also hurt consistently for 5 consecutive days. My scalp has scabs, and I'm pretty sure when I do take these braids out, some of my hair will be broken off due to the tightness.

Bless Melissa’s heart, she only did what I asked her to do. She was as sweet, if not sweeter than I had expected her to be. She was a joy to be around. In fact, once she left, one of my roommates, Kayla, said "Oh man, I like her more than cake !" :) And I absolutely agree. I hope to see her some more!!

So no hard feelings whatsoever, but I do share this story to express my empathizing with the article I shared with you earlier.

If you are wondering where I am going with this…Here it is.

I’ve been able to relate more and more with Christ lately. I can’t say that I will ever EVER understand what Christ went through when He literally walked towards His death so that I could be saved and find life through Him, but I will say that just as He knew what the pain He was going through was leading towards, I also know the pain, confusion, heartache, darkness, frustrations, lack of patience, and whatever else I may sometimes go through does in fact lead to something beautiful and completely Worth it.

No, I am not comparing Christ’s pain with the pain that I go through in order to take care of my haïr and end up looking pretty. lol. That was just a very feeble and poor example of what life can be like. Life as a Christian especially.

Man, my heart goes out to people who go through life’s challenges without a single hope to hold on to. I can’t even imagine how these people continue on in life.

I have been living out of suitcases with no stable home for exactly a year now. Let me tell you that this journey has not been easy. I have been unemployed for almost 8 months now. I have been living off of what God literally provides me with day by day through friends, family, and loved ones. I have gone from being forced to leave the country to being forced to stay in the country while not being allowed to work in one night. I’ve been waiting on the American government to decide my fate for me for 5 months.

I PRAISE GOD for that. I’ve gone through all sorts of painful émotions. I’ve also Fallen in love in the midst of it. I’ve seen the light. I’ve been blessed beyond imagination. I’ve still been able to live out my passions in life. I’ve been exhausted and felt hopeless while other times being lifted up by God Himself. I’ve latched out on people that are closest to me.

I mean the list goes on. I can’t express to you the past couple months of my life. The absolute rollercoaster.

I also can’t express to you that consistent love and strength that’s been by my side reminding me that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. That there is joy in every single day. That there is pure delight and beauty in the midst of the people that I encounter day after day.

I could list every single name of the people that have just blessed me during these past couple of months but the list would be TO long for God has placed SO many people on my path during this journey in order for me to keep my eyes focused on what is ahead…HIM. The cross. The prize. The rainbow after the Storm.

" I still believe in the Sun even when it doesn’t shine.

I still believe in love even when I am alone.

I still believe in God, even when He is sillent.

Trust God in the dark until light returns ."

Today, I finally received a letter from Immigration. I have a court date on Sept 21rst in Detroit, Michigan.

Today I also received an e-mail from a photography studio that I had contacted in case they simply needed a volunteer. Since my situation seemed confusing to them, the manager made it clear that they might not be able to use me even though I was only seeking to volunteer. After 2 months of silence, they contact me to ask if I am still interested in helping out. On the same day that I find out about my court date.

Also on the same day that my boyfriend, Jeremy, who has been fervently searching for a job for about 4 months straight, finally gets one definite positive answer and another very strong possibility to work elsewhere.

Who ever said God doesn’t work when He is "silent" !?

I know I originally went off on what seemed like a tangent with my "éducation on Black Women’s haïr" and I did warn you that it would be a STRETCH ehe BUT I hope you now see my point through my very weak attempt at expressing how I feel when it comes to living solely for God. Being Faithful through Sacrifice, pain, patience, and service usually leads to a light at the end of the tunnel. Just as Christ did. And even if it doesn’t lead to a bright light (cus it didn't really lead there for Christ. not right away at least). we have Eternity with the Lord to look forward to.

It is a long journey, a journey that depending on the situation may seem to take FOREVER, but we can make it by holding on to God and giving Him the little strength we have left and count on Him to pull us with ALL the strength that He has. It’s called persévérance through faith, and it’s something beautiful.

The sun is now rising. I will rest my head and prepare for a brand new beautiful day.

Still waiting....

2011-06-20T13:05:00.000-07:00

June 20th

Dear readers (Specifically Debra Davis, and Anne Newton) :)

I apologize for the months and months of silence.

I originally created this blog so that friends and family could keep up with my traveling adventures. When those ended, I thought, well...why not continue to write to share the glory of God's works in my life.

Things were a little bit hectic (to say the least) the last time I was updating you all, and ever since then, things have sort of died down. Nothing new in my life has happened. And by that, I simply mean that my situation hasn't changed.

Last time I was here, I kept things vague simply because I, myself, wasn't quite sure what was going on and what exactly had just happened to me. So in case you might've been confused as to why I am still in the U.S. or in case you understood but just forgot, here is a quick re-cap to refresh your memory/clarify your thoughts. :)

On March 1st, I thought I was beginning a whole new journey by heading towards Canada. I had 60 days starting January 2nd to stay in the U.S legally and either find a job that would sponsor me to stay here, or find a plane ticket to leave the country.
The week prior the end of the 60 days, I had two job interviews and because I hadn't gotten a response from either job as to whether I'd been hired or not, I decided it would probably be smart to leave the country, while staying close enough so that if I were to get hired, I could just come right back and start the paper work process to get sponsored and legally stay in the country.
The attempt to go to Canada failed since the Canadians didn't let me in the country. (I thought that as a French Citizen, I wouldn't have any issues getting into Canada).
So the Canadians send me back to the US, which means I need to go through the Immigration first.
American Immigration looked through my records and interrogated me for long long hours, only to find that in year 2010, I had the misfortune of staying in the US over the 90 days I was given to either find a job in my field of study (Media Communications) or leave. The OPT working permit had rules that I had failed to double check once receiving in 2009.
After this, I am told to go back to my home in the US and wait for a court hearing date to go over my small mistake.
I am told the wait could be be between 2 weeks and a couple months. I am also told that my situation is quite minor and that I have nothing to worry about since it was just a small "oopsies" on my part, and once it got taken care of I would find out whether I could stay in the country or leave.
I was also told that if I were to leave before this court date, I would be "self-deporting" myself meaning I would not be allowed to re enter the country. EVER.

SO this is where we last left off.

4 months have gone by since then and I haven't heard a single thing from the Immigration. I haven't received a court date. I have called them and they simply told me I would have to wait a couple more months. I have called free legal advisers to seek advice but they were no help.

So what have I been up to since then? Still blessed to live with the wonderful girls that I have lived with since I first moved back to Huntington. They have been an incredible blessing.
I have been spending time with my 509 community (church that I attend) and they've been an incredible blessing as well.
I have been spending a lot of time with my boyfriend who has been heaven sent. His patience and encouragement with me and the situation I'm in have gotten me quite far.
I've volunteered here and there (a woman's homeless shelter, the Red Cross, and helped with a film shoot once).
I've done some photography here and there.
My parents have been helping me financially. I have also been babysitting.
I was able to see my sister who came to visit here for over a month!
I had been going to Goshen (where my boyfriend just graduated from) and making friends there, while spending time with my friends here in Huntington.
I've been journaling. I've been reading. I've been praying.
I've dreamt of leaving. I've rejoiced for still being here surrounded by loved ones. I've wept in confusion, restlessness, and feeling useless. I've praised the Lord for His plan. I've grown. I've been humbled. I've been hurt. I've been frustrated. I've been joyful and content. I've been trying to serve others.

I've been blessed through the storm.

Now...I still wait...I suppose.

"Back from Canada"

2011-03-07T13:02:00.000-08:00

HI!!!!!!!!

Alright, I'm going to get straight to the point and start this story up!! First off, it might be long because I'm hoping to fully express God's complete faithfulness through this LONG story!!! Secondly, God's grace is hard to understand, and accept, but my goal is to show you how incredible and neverending it is, and perhaps you can be encouraged through this :)

First things first...I don't know if you could pick up the depression, confusion, lack of patience, and discouragement from my last post but I went through a phase where I basically gave up. I was tired of job searching, I was tired of getting rejection letters, or no responses from jobs, and I was tired of everyone asking me what I had decided between Canada, France, or whether I'd gotten job interviews and I had to keep responding "No job interviews, and I still don't know what I'm doing" :(

Well at that point not only was I becoming distant from my friends and the people who truly cared for me and wanted to support me, but worse of all I was definitely becoming distant from God. I felt like he'd given up on me and no matter how much I seeked, I wasn't getting any responses. It was hard. It was dark. I was sick for a while to, which gave me an excuse to retreat in my room and sleep all day everyday.
The worst yet best week happened when I got the news that I wasn't going to be able to drive my brother in law's car anymore for various reasons. The news hit me hard. It felt like the little bit of freedom and independance I'd gained over the past few months was getting robbed away and I just did not know how to handle it.
I was dealing with to much at once. It was crunch time. My 60 days of grace were quickly coming to an end. I didn't have any hope on the job side and I was realizing more and more that I should be starting to pack my belongings and pick a country.

Oh it was a dark time. I hit rock bottom. Sometimes rock bottom is the only way God can shake things up enough to take us where He wants us to be though. I basically came to a point that week where I just broke down and asked for repentance and begged for His grace, His strength, His mercy so I could get up off my butt and fully trust in Him. Trust that everything would be ok. More than ok in fact.
Sometimes it's just that easy. All we have to do is ask. My attitude changed immediatly. I was a different person that next morning. I felt peace. I felt motivated. I felt joy. I felt a conviction that allowed me to focus not on myself but on God and on the people that were around me. loving me. serving me. praying for me. It was time to return the blessings.

This week allowed me to faithfully step into the following week. A week of decision making, of interviews, and of goodbyes.
In one week I had to not only decide where I would be going, but prepare myself for two job interviews, prepare myself mentally for my departure, say farewell to so many people without any personal transportation, and make a lot of phonecalls concerning what I was allowed to do while considering Canada as an option to avoid any illegal activity. (I had to find out whether I was allowed to go there, whether I could come back, find a place there, etc....)

By the end of this week, I was able to tackle most of these things by the grace of God. He provided me with rides to places, with connections, with some answers, with MUCH patience, with focus, with strength, and with perseverance.
Both of my interviews went pretty well. I didn't get either of the jobs, but I felt confident afterwards and this whole time I just felt like I was doing everything in sync with God's plan.

One of my really close friends, Dave, had offered to drive me to Canada once I'd gotten details of where I would stay etc...

Tuesday morning, we head out and after what should've been 4 and a half hours of driving to get to the border, 7 hours later we reached the Canadian border in Detroit.
I knew all along that God had intended for me to go there. I just knew it. Little did I know what all He had in mind. It's so easy to think we've figured out His plans, but He never ceases to BLOW our minds!

Upon arrival at the Canadian border, the lady asks me what my status in the US is. I take the time to explain my being on a 60 day grace period and after a couple more questions were answered, I was sent over to the Canadian Immigration's office for a more explicit interrogation.
An hour later, I was told I was not allowed in Canada for 3 reasons. The first being my not having enough funds to support myself, the second was my not having any medical care, and the third was my lack of proof of reentry into the country I had just came from.

All three reasons made sense, however, I knew that they basically didn't want to deal with anything illegal or weird since I didn't understand my situation very clearly.
In order to return to the US, I was required to go through the American Immigration's Office for a couple more questions.
The Americans were not as friendly as the Canadians were at first. They tried intimidating me, and attempting to accuse my friend Dave of being my boyfriend who was trying to smuggle me back in the country. They treated us like we were nothing basically.
While they were doing some more investigating my friend Big Dave and myself were both praying for a lady in particular. We felt like she had insecurities and not only prayed for her specifically but for whatever the situation was to be taken over by a more understanding, cooperative, and patient person.
LONG STORY SHORT....4 hours and a half later, we were out of that office. Not only did this lady that we'd prayed for and who had been quite rude to us at first turn out to be caring, gentle, loving, and friendly, but we were also able to leave while knowing that God had been with us every step of the way throughout this mini journey.

The officers I spoke with turned out to be real nice. They offered us food. They were friendly, and very encouraging, The one in particular who was the answer to our prayers, who basically took over my "case" basically told me I was good to go. He trusted me and could told I'd done my best to follow the law but due to the complication of my situation, they still had some details to look over and double check and pass on to authorities that could decided better what to do with me.

So all of this to say, I will be here in the US until I found out whether I need to leave or not. If I find a job, I could still have a chance to stay, so number one priority is finding a job. again. back at point A.

I am just so grateful because who would've thought? Had I decided to go to France and spend big bucks on a ticket out of fear of the unknown and not trusted God with Him telling me to go to Canada (even though I know, there would be a chance of me not being able to get in and all of this turning out way worse than it did), I would've just wasted money and perhaps missed out on something big that God may have for me here.

Either way, now I have more time whether it is to find a ticket back home, or to find a job around here.

God is great. That is all I have to say. I still have a lot of unanswered questions and things are still very up in the air, but I am being shaken and molded through this unknown plan God has for me.

I literally cannot express to you all the power of prayer. I could feel people praying for me as I woke up, as I had to explain my situation, as I went through my days and the rock bottom I hit that God used to get me back up to be where I am now, today, was an answer to all of your prayers. The peace and joy that have positively overwhelmed my heart these past two weeks are a definite result of your prayers.

so THANK YOU. The journey resumes.

I also know that my friend Dave felt very uplifted and encouraged by the time we both got back to Huntington. We had a great talk about GOd's faithfulness and power and His desire to provide us with more than what we need if we can just let Him.
Let go...and follow. That's what I am learning to do.

I don't know why God chooses to use me to go through these crazy situations and basically use this life of mine as a testimony of His power, grace, and faithfulness, but I'm glad He does. I feel priviledged and I am grateful.

Love,
DJO

Huntington Life

2011-02-07T12:58:00.000-08:00

February 3rd

Well well well.

Guess who is back ??

ME

Ok I'm embarrassed it's been so long. So we'll skip the typical apologetic paragraph that you are probably tired of reading and move on to what's going on in my life~

Where to begin ? Well I am still in Huntington, IN. I am currently sitting in a coffee shop with two dear sisters in Christ of mine.
I just got done applying for a couple of jobs that one of my roommates found for me. I also just got done editing my cover letter.
Let's just say that what I just did defines my past month and a half ! I've been surrounded by friends, and some I could call family who have been nothing but supportive, encouraging, loving , and just présent in my life !
I could go into détails of places Ive applied to, and dreams I've had, and hopes and people I've met, and yadiyadiya but as of now, nothing is certain.
I am still stuck in this hole of uncertainty. The clock is ticking. It's february and I have no idea what is going to happen to me 3 weeks from now (which is when I would have to leave the U.S)
I've felt a very wide range of émotions in the past month. I've just been so joyful and full of peace since I've been in Huntington. It is my home and I long to stay hère and give back to this town what it's given to me.
The people hère are passionate, loving, and refreshing, and I want nothing more than to invest my time, life, energy, and passion alongside with my community to make the world a better place starting by working within our hearts and our community as brothers and sisters in Christ there to challenge each other, encourage each other, pray for each other, and support each other with any possible means.
However, I've also felt extremely discouraged and lost with the situation I am still in. I've gotten tired of answering the same question " What are you doing hère ? " I've gotten tired of explaining my situation, Ive gotten tired of receiving rejection letters in the mail, I've gotten tired of seeking in vain, and more than anything I've gotten tired of the intense silence that overwhelms me.

What do I mean by silence ? Just this created distance in my heart between my Father and I. He is challenging me, continually and daily, but I sometimes fail to respond to his challenges. I get tired, and I give up. I put my arms down and feel defeated.

I still believe and know in my heart that He has a plan for me. But after doing what it seems like I should be, I've gotten unjustly impatient with Him and decided to sit and do nothing.
Its just a phase, and I know better. I know not to give up. I know not to stop searching. I know more applications need to be filled. I know more phone calls need to be made. I know more goals need to be met. I know more prayers need to be sent.
I know all of this and as my mother would say " Why do you sit and do nothing, when you know ? You say you know, so do something ! "

She is absolutely right every single time that I hear her say that. I'm trying. I am , but it isn't easy.
So in a nutshell, this is where I'm at. Spiriutally and mentally. I serve a victorious God and know He will pull me out of this, but in the meantime I could definitely use your prayers
Despite my silence, I know you all have been thinking and praying for me so thank you. Blessings to you !

Dorina

New Year's Resolution

2010-12-31T12:57:00.000-08:00

OOoOk,

I would LOVE to share this devotional that God sent directly to me from His Holy Spirit from the book "A daily journey of Faith"

None of these words are mine, but they encouraged me and hopefully will encourage YOU with whatever you are going through!

Blessings,

DJO

Because you have the ability to think, you also have the ability to worry. Even if you're a faithful Christian, you may be plagued by occasional periods of discouragement and doubt. Even though you trust GOd's promise of salvation and even though you sincerely believe in God's love and protection, you may find yourself upset by the countless details of everyday life. Jesus understood your concerns when He spoke the reassuring words found in the 6th Chapter of Matthew.

"There I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clohing? Look at birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are ou not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?.....Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about is own things, SUfficient for the day is its own troube. (25-27, 34)

Where is the best place to take your worries? Take them to God. Take your TROUBLES to Him; take your WEAKNESSES to Him; take your FEARS to Him; take your SORROWS to Him...and leave them all there. Seek protection from the One who offers you eternal salvation; build your spiritual house upon the Rock that cannot be moved.

Perhaps you are concerned about your future, your relationships, or your finances (yes all of the above!!). Or perhaps you are simply a "worrier" by nature. If so, choose to make Matthew 6 a regular part of your daily Bible reading. This beautiful passage will remind you that God still sits in His heaen and you are His beloved child. Then, perhaps, you will worry a little less and trust GOd a little more, and that's as it should be because God is trustworthy...and you are protected.

In the game of life, you win some and you lose some. Life is risky business; you live in an uncertain world, a world in which trouble may come calling at any moment. No wonder you may find yourself feeling a little panicky at times
DO you sometimes spend more time worrying about a problem than you do solving it? If so, remember this strategy for dealing with your worries: take them to God. Take your troubles to Him, take your fears to Him, take your doubts to Him, take your weaknesses to Him, take your sorrows to Him...and leave then all there. Period.
God is the Rock that cannot be moved. WHen you build your life upon that Rock, you have absolutely no need to worry...not now, not ever.

If you are worried about the futur, stop worrying and start working. The more time you spend working, the less time you'll have to spend worrying. Don't fret about your problems; fix them!

(Here are some verses and quotes that were attached to this devotional that I specifically appreciated.)

"Worry is the senseless process of cluttering up tomorrow's opportunities with leftover problems from today." ( Barbara Johnson)

"It has been said that no man ever sank under the burden of the day. It is when tomorrow's burden is added to the burden of today that the weight is more than a man can bear. Never load yourselves so, my friends. If you find yourselves so loaded, at least remember this: It is your own doing, not God's. He begs you to leav ethe future to Him and mind the present." ( George MacDonald)

"Never yield to gloomy aniticpaion. Place your hope and confidence in the Lord. He has NO record of failure." (Mrs. Charles E. Cowm)

"He treats us as sons (and daughters) and all that He asks in return is that we treat Him as a Father whom we can trust without anxiety. We must take the son's palce aof dependance and trust, and we must let Him keep the father's palce of care and responsibility." (Hannah Whitall Smith)

Psalm 94:19

I was very worried, but you comforted me...

Proverbs 12:25

An anxious heart weighs a man down

Phil 4: 6-7

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your conerns,, Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down, It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."

John 14:1

"Jesus said, "Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust in me."

Matth 7: 7-8

Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Kee pn seekingm and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.

My new year's resolution for 2011 is that wherever I am, I will celebrate more and worry less. When my faith begins to waver, hopefully I will trust Him more. Then, with praise on my lips and the love of Christ in my heart, I will live courageously, faithfully, prayerfully, and thankfully today and everyday. AMEN.

Happy New Year folks!!!

Happy New YEar

2010-12-31T12:34:00.000-08:00

Dear friend or familly member, :)

HAPPYNEWYEAR

It's the very last day of the year 2010 and it doesn't feel like it whatsoever! I am in Aurora, CO staying at Lysiane's apartment.
Pardon me if I don't make much sense, I JUST woke up and I usually am not all there right when I arise :) (especially when it's against my will). :)

Alright so you must be wondering how I am doing and what's going on through my head and heart.

Well to put it in very simple words....I have no idea how I am doing! Yea sorry...not what you were hoping for. But it's true.
Almost a month has gone by and I've come to a point where my situation is almost non existant. I sometimes forget about it. I don't know if that's a curse or a blessing, but it is what it is.

Last time I wrote you all, I had asked for specific prayer for my trip to Colorado, and I just want to thank each and everyone of you that was able to do so because I truly and consistently felt God's angels surrounding the car for the entirety of the trip.
It started out extremely scary because I left around 5 in the morning and not only was it raining with a crazy intensity but it was also foggy AND there was traffic...go figure...and as we all know California drivers aren't the best :p SO my trip started out filled with fear, but I prayed and said "God, you and I both know that I am not a very good driver, so just take control of the wheel." and though I had some very scary moments and lost over two hours between getting lost, gas, listening to my gps over my instinct, and the terrible weather conditions, I felt like I was never going to make it, but God never fails, and that's the truth. AMEN.

Me on the icy/snowy road

So I got here after 19 hours of driving and a few breaks here and there, the next day I got sick. Boooooo. I was so bummed about that. Lysiane had to work so I didn't have much to do other than catch up on sleep, which you better believe I did!!!

Christmas eve, Lysiane and I went to church with her family and then went to the Wildlife Experiment where they had Christmas lights and we could write letters to Santa. I asked Santa for a job. :)
We then looked at houses that had the most amazing Christmas lights and decorations I'd ever seen and ended the night at Lylie's dad's house eating crepes and just enjoying each other's company.

Being out in the cold for so long while already being sick wasn't the brightest idea on my part. I woke up on Christmas day feeling just as bad, if not worse, We figured out that the room in which I was staying's vents were closed for the first couple of days and that's why I was so cold and got sick so quickly.
Well Christmas morning, before heading to Lysiane's parents for gifts, joy, and food :) I decided to foolishly swallow 5 pills to get rid of my cold once and for all. I repeat FOOLISHLY! I also did this on an empty stomach. I know better, and I've never done that, but it was Christmas day for crying out loud. I just wanted to fully enjoy it!
Well the opposite happened. Not only was I still sick (felt a little better throat and symptom wise), but I had the absolute worst stomach ache for the entirety of Christmas day. It was awful.
It didn't keep me from enjoying the day, but it just didn't feel like Christmas nonetheless. I am not sure why, I think a lot of different things may have joined forces to make me feel that way, but overall a good day nonetheless.
Here are a few pictures:

A purse I received from Christmas and
plan on wearing a LOT!

Lysiane's little sister Iyanla :)

Christmas Diner

Reggie!!!!!! :)

I'm still a little sick, but getting over it and ready to start a new year nice and FRESH!!!

So concerning my situation...I guess I'll update you with the new "foundings."

Well for one, I was able to find out that the government does give me 60 days after my permit expires (it expires on the 2nd of January) before I must leave.
I spoke to a very nice immigration lawyer, who was able to confirm this fact to me but also confirm what my father had found online, which is the fact that IF I do find a job, which would be called a "specialty job" meaning it would have to be a job that someone with my qualifications or hopefully higher would be required to hire me based on the qualifications and skills that I have.
It basically means I can't just go to starbucks and look for a job.
Once and if I find a specialty kind of job (photography, videography, broadcasting, commercials, etc...), my futur potential employer would have to petition so I can aquire an H1B visa. Basically an actual working visa. This visa would allow me to stay in the US for up to 6 years depending on what the government would decide. I would also do my share of work by asking for a change of status as this is all going on.

So, this brings in a whole lot of pressure, because the lawyer was advising me to find a job before february due to the government started to hand out H1B visas in October and them running out of them very fast. They only have a certain amount that they give out each year.
Another reason this puts a lot of pressure on me, is because a specialty job is basically an employer telling the governement "listen, this foreigner has all the qualifications our company needs, and stomps any other regular American citizen, so we want HER, can you make her stay because we need HER."
Do you see what I mean??? I mean I have passions, and I wouldn't call myself insecure, I mean I'm good at my passions, but I'm just saying I'm not THAT good, that a company would fight to have me stay over just any regular person.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOO....all of this to say....there's the situation I'm at. I decided to continue to look for jobs anywhere and everywhere, including the US, and depeding on what I find, maybe God's will will be more clear.
I just know I can't sit around and do nothing and wait for something to happen, as I so often do :(

Another situation in my life, that I realized just a couple of days ago, which I need YOU to pray HARD for PLEASE!!
I just realized that the driver's license they gave me was one that would go until my working permit expired because they didn't want to give me a driver's license for longer than the proof they had of how long I were to stay in the US.
At the time, when I got my license and they explained it to me, I told them I completely understood, and wasn't worried about it because at the time I believe my job was going to renew my papers for me.
Well, after this little curve ball was thrown my way, it's added 101 problems to my life. I guess depending on the perspective they could be problems or blessings.
Either way, after the 2nd of january, I will no longer have a valid driver's license, nor will I be able to renew it :(

There are many other details with the car that I'd rather not go into, but please pray for those as well.

SIGH

I think I hit a little wall in this journey, where I feel like I'm at a dead end. I mean as Christians, we have faith and trust and believe but that human fear is still creeping around the shadows pushing me to want to give up, although I wasn't given the spirit of a quitter, as one of you strongly encouraged me and reminded me the other day.

Year 2010 honestly brought me more challenges than joys overall. From beginning to end. I must say, it was a hard year. Definitely not the best, but I did do a LOT of growing, which usually happens through challenges, and I did meet quite some amazing folks along the way, so I am very grateful.

YEAR 2011 holds much more mystery to me than any other year has in my life! I literally could be in any country for within the next 2 months, OR I could still be here. Who knows! ONly GOd. And He is what I count on holding on to in order to start new and fresh.

Thank you soooo much for your precious time.

I hope you have all had an amaaazzziiiiinnnnng Christmas day to celebrate with friends and family, and I hope you each dance a little (At home, in public, in your own privacy, just you and God) to celebrate a NEW BEGINNING!!
BLESSINGS TO YOU ALL!!!

love, DJO

Back in California

2010-12-20T12:33:00.000-08:00

HI :)

Ok so this might be my shortest entry yet! No promises though...so don't get excited ;p

Ummm I am currently in Diamond Bar, CA. We've been here for a couple of days. (since friday)

I wish I could talk about my wonderful time at the Riverwalk in San Antonio and talk about my last school ever, or about the nice people we met on our 2 day drive back to Cali from Texas, or tell you about my weekend, or more, but I have no time.

I am curretnly at Starbucks because the Camfel apartement has no internet :( I've been here for a while and slacked on the blogging. I then got a phonecall from a great friend who needed an ear and after that I realized it was time to go. Tiffany and I are going to eat at IN n OUT for one last time (well one last time for me). My stomach is complaining so I must listen to it.

I want to update you all on how I've been doing, or what the Lord's been showing me, or what's evolved with my situation but like I said I don't have much time :(

I do however need you all to pray for me. My time with Camfel and California has officially come to an end, as I am waking up extremely early tomorrow morning in order to make my first loner roadtrip. 18 hours to CO. It's been raining here in California since we got here friday night and will continue to rain until wednesday I believe, which is horrible for poor ol' Californians haha.

I am not going to act like I'm not nervous about the trip. As some of you may know, I am a terrible driver and it is supposed to rain/snow (according to where I drive) all day. I've never driven in snow before so that'll be a new one.
PLEASE pray for good weather and protection to on the way tomorrow! That'd be great if I made it there in one piece. :)

I've had a lot of packing to do, was able to pick up my car on saturday, and pick up a few boxes and bins of mine on sunday night. I finally have everything of mine in ONE place :) I am workign towards fitting it all in the car and I believe it will be a success.
In fact, I met a man who doesn't live in the apartments but comes around a couple of times a week to help out his old grandpa and uncle who can't take care of themselves anymore. He saw me in the wet parking lot struggling trying to sort out of all my belongings. THe car was SURROUNDED with bags, and shoes, and clothes, and trash, and suitcases, and bins and...well...basically my whole life and he talked to me for a while and ended up helping me out (not sorting things cus that'd be awkward hehe) but once I was done sorting he brought a bag to goodwill for me, and helped me carry suitcases and things upstairs. At the end of it,we had a long talk and I found out he was a believer. He seemed real interested in my crazy life story and he confessed to feeling like he didn't know much about the world outside of California and I kept encouraging him to look things up, or going out to open up his eyes and I hope I was able to challenge him in some way. In return, at the end of our conversation, he decided to pray for my trip. He thanked God for meeting a new sister in Christ and He just covered my journey, my decisions, and everything in prayer. I felt the Holy Spirit present and it was just a great bonding time.
It's so amazing how so many of us only have one thing in common, our deep love for Christ, and how that alone can make us feel like we've known each other for years the very first time we meet!
I felt so blessed afterwards. I told a friend of mine about it and he told me I had the gift of having people love me without even knowing me and I replied that I felt like God had blessed me with a social gift and that if all I can do is bring light to whoever I meet or run into, then my daily goal is fulfilled!
Unfortunately I fail at that goal a lot, but I still try :)

My coworker, Tiffany actually joined me here at Starbucks, which is why I've been rambling some more :) You thought you could get away with a short entry today huh? Sorrryyyy!! haha Just kidding.

It's been swell. My stomach is still crying out. I hope to come back on here very soon. I'll be in Colorado next time I do.

Merry Christmas everyone, You are loved and thought of!!!

Dorina

What's next...?

2010-12-10T12:30:00.000-08:00

Oh. My. Goodness.

What a week! Last time I wrote here, I was all cheery and hopeful, and loving life...well here I am a couple days later not feeling the same way at all haha.

It's just been a roller coaster!

First off, physically....my body aches. My back, my fingers, my head is throbbing, my arms are sore, i did something to my wrist and my throat's been feeling irritated for the past couple of days.
This throat has kept me from getting good night sleeps. We've been waking up between 4 and 5:45 every morning this week, and being physically acitve first thing in the morning untill 3:30 for most days, including our drives to the schools.

By the time we get back to our motel, we are exhausted. All we want to do is nap BUT we try not to otherwise we'll just end up going to bed late, and end up hating life even more in the mornings.
We've had all sorts of schools. We had a school in which the teachers refused to turn all of the lights off (the darker the room, the better the show looks) because the kids were so bad that they were scared of what they would do in the dark. They even had security in the room just in case. We've had schools with kids helpig us and not listening to a thing we were saying, almost breaking all of our equipment, making dirty jokes, goofing off and stressing me out more than helping me. We've had schools with excellent little helpers who listened carefully and did everything wonderfully! We've had schools with really old African American janitors who were just absolute sweethearts, just precious ol' grandpas that you felt bad putting to work but they insisted so we used it. We've had schools where the teachers would yell at their students as if they were in the army. We had schools in which students could care less about the video. Others that cheered so loudly at the end. Others where there was complete awkward silence at the end of my conclusion. We had a school that had a Christian team of college students there to minister to kids on the same day we presented. That was really cool to watch and interact with them. :) We had a school (our very last show of the week, today) where we set everything up, shifted everything to the other side of the gym because there were huge windows that were washing out the video, and even after doing that, 10 minutes after the video started, the principle had to cancel the show because the room was so bright that no one could see anything. :(

All in all though it was a good week. In fact, we got a LOT of compliments from different staff saying that we were one of the best teams they'd had and things like that so that was encouraging for sure!
We've done 10 schools in 5 days and it is FINALLY the weekend.

I guess it's just really awkard timing for me to have had the busiest week yet right after finding everything out. Not only have I been physically exhausted this week, the reality of things has been sinking in more and more and these poor emotions of mine have been everywhere.
On top of all of this, I haven't been eating as often due to awkward show times or laziness, or pure loss of appetite, which has been a bummer because I am in Louisiana for crying out loud. The land of seafood and gumbo and soul food, greek, lebanese, French food and you name it!!!
I've had delicious gumbo and chinese food so far.
This wasn't any kind of chinese....it was....amazing...! It had all types of sea food I'd never seen or tasted before. I even had octopus! Great sushi and tempura. All sorts of crab, and so much more.
I love food, and it's such a bummer that not only am I broke (due to having to save up for a plane ticket), but I just haven't been hungry because I've let all these different emotions consume me.

AND last but not least...I haven't been able to spend as much time with the Lord as desired, which explains a lot doesn't it?

Because we get back from work exhausted and try to avoid taking naps, we try to keep our time as filled with nonsense as possible away from the hotel room that constantly toils with our desire to just lay down and pass out for hours at a time.
So I've gone to the Mall of Louisiana a couple of times, I've spent a lot of time on the phone, I've been watching shows, going to Starbucks, and doing other random things like that. So I've slacked on using this time more wisely and efficiently.
I did begin job searching and that just became way to overwhelming, way to fast.

I must say that once again I've just been so extremely encouraged by my friends and family (all of you...) that continually send me comforting messages or call to check up on me or express your sadness, or remind me that you are thinking and praying for me so THANK U ALL!!!

So all of this being said, it only makes sense that there hasn't been much progress concerning my knowing where I'm going, how I'm going there, and what I'll be doing there.

So far, the options are still France and Senegal, and now added to the list of "maybes" are Canada and Australia :)
I've always wanted to go to Australia and just found out that being a French Citizen, I could move there with minimum amount of problems finding a job for some reason. The same goes for Canada. It isn't really at the top of my choices, but it would be the cheapest option flight wise, and being bilingual, I could probably find a job there.
Who knows. I'm still very unsure. Time is going by fast though and even though I have till the first week of January to be here, I feel like I basically only have a week or two to figure this out otherwise plane tickets will be REDONCULOUS!

Writing this out helps me process my thinking, but still doesn't solve the problems. Other than the fact that I trust you will keep me in prayer once reading this.

I'm sorry I'm babbling a lot. I guess mentally I'm not all there either on top of physically and emotionally :)

What else...?

Well...I was going to talk about optimism and staying positive and how much of an impact that can have on our perspective of life as Christians BUT I'm tired, ready to get all cozzy in my bed and fall asleep with the comfort of knowing I will not have to wake up anytime between 4 and 6. Sigh. What a beautiful thought.
Praise God.

Oh here's an extra lil prayer request that my mother wanted me to put out here because as a mother she is very worried about this.

In order to get to Colorado and Indiana in a couple of weeks, I will have to drive to both states, by myself, in winter weather :/

I usually don't worry about much because...well...I already explained all of that to you guys but I must confess that this does worry me considering the fact that even though I've driven a TON in the past couple of months, let me remind you all that I've only had a license for almost 6 months AND I've never driven in the snow, so we're just going to pray and have faith that it won't snow on those days. :)

So there's that. Seriously though, praise God that this week is over. Thanks for reading and being patient with my lack of making sense tonight.

Wherever you are in the world, may your time be blessed. Take time to sit down, breathe, relax, and take full advantage of time spent with loved ones. I know I took that for granted before this job, so don't make that same mistake.

love,
Dorina

Mixed Emotions

2010-12-06T12:25:00.000-08:00

Good morning, afternoon, or evening dear reader!

Well, what a wonderful day. I am currently ending my first day of our busiest week by sitting in starbucks drinking a chocolate mocha and listening to Christmas music while writing you all :)

This morning I felt sooo loved by strangers. Sometimes that's even better than feeling loved by...well...loved ones, because it's completely unexpected!

The second school we went to was great. It was a big middle school and even though the kids got yelled at by their principal because they created so much chaos coming in and she was very embarrassed by them (little does she know, we've seen way worse!), the kids for some reason loooooved me.
I already wrote this on my status, so if you read this for the second time, my apologies. But seriously, I felt so loved. One girl walked by me and says to her friends while starring at me "Oh my goodness girls, look at her she is soooo pretty!" haha. Another girl pointed at my tattoo and whispered with her friends and then goes "OMG that tattooo is sooo cool!" and then when I was introduced to everybody, she says "and her name is cool tooo!!!" At then end of the show, on her way back to class, she yells "Bye coool person. thanks for coming!!!" haha
Another kid starred at me while I was singing and I asked him if he liked my voice (because God knows I have a terrible voice) and he smiled and nodded. Later on when we were leaving, he goes "I like your singing!!!!" and I responded "thanks but you don't need to lie to me while laughing." :)
Two girls at one point ran towards me, and said "OMG you are so pretty, can we please give you a hug!?" and then two other girls later on told me they thought I was pretty!
A couple of kids came up to me at different times saying they absolutely loved the video and thanking me. Another girl walked by and said "I like your shoes!!!" Last but not least, a young boy filled with amazing manners kept following me around asking me if I needed help during tear town, while all the while trying to get to know me. (No he was not hitting on me). In fact he reminded me of one of my really good friends (TImothy Urbanowicz) in his manners, looks, and more, so I didn't mind it a bit!

Anywho...all of this to say God blessed me with these little angels to make me feel a bit better about life just for one day.

I come to update you on the evolution of my "situation" and how I am dealing with it all.

Yesterday was hard. The hardest yet. Everything is slowly but surely soaking in. I am trying to stay positive and keep my eyes on the Lord, but I can't help but let big and small fears slowly creep in
I start thinking about the futur and my life and thoughts such as "Oh my goodness, am I going to lose most of my friends through the distance??" or "Someday when I get married, will I even have that many people at my wedding if it is in another country!?" or small things like "How am I going to order my contacts every couple of months." or during worship at Church, I think about how I won't be singing any of these songs for a while. and of course the big fears like " I still don't understand how I am going to buy a plane ticket to go wherever," or " where will I go!??!?!?"

Well you get the drift. At the end of it, I always hear that voice that reassures me and tells me it's all under control and I have nothing to worry about but you know I'm human.
On top of these fears that creep in every once in a while, I've been feeling frustrated at various things and definitely extremely sad. I think that's the worst. The sadness that sometimes overwhelms me at the realization that I have to start all over again. Making connections. Making friends. Settling in and down. Adapting. Understanding a different culture. Even if I do move home, it won't be the same. I won't have the same friends there, or the same mentality since I am now an adult.
I just get sad thinking about the fact that all of my friends, at least MOST of them are really just here in the US. I have a couple in France, a couple back home, a couple in Canada and a little bit of everywhere in the world, but the ones who know me the most now as who I am today are here. It's just hard to think that God is separating me from them.

You know, God's been preparing my heart for this for a couple of weeks now and I did have a feeling He was sending me elsewhere but this soon, I did not realize.

The past month or so, I'd been thinking about my life here in the US and how it seemed sort of pointless. Not really pointless since no matter where I am I can be used by God and I believe I have, so in that sense it hasn't been pointless; But I've been thinking about this job and though a great opportunity to impact the youth, it isn't or should I say wasn't something I felt I wanted to do forever, or at all again.
You see, my passions lie in photography and film and creating beauty through a lens so I can share God's glory, Whether it is through the sharing of a story that needs to be told, or using my skills to touch on issues that need to be addressed, or whether it's simply capturing the beauty of God's creation. That is what I absolutely love doing.
So with that being said, I felt like I was missing out on something by not being involved in any of that. Not only was I missing out on learning and growing more in my passions, I was also not really making much money. Now don't get me wrong, I am not about money at all. But if I am going to be doing something I'm not extremely passionate about, I would like to get paid a bit more you know?
Well anyway I started thinking about all of that, and about where my life was headed here in the US and how I had nothing here other than friends. I have a so so job (that I don't regret having taken because of the growth I've experienced and the impact that's been made), I have no family (no immediate family) here, no boyfriend (not really in a rush to have one either BUT I've been "proposed" to twice to stay in the US twice since all of this has happened). But in all reality, the ONLY thing in the US that I have are those really close and amazing friends that mean SO much to me.
So yes, God was attempting to prepare me for this, and I was feeling his tug at my heart, but I didn't realize how urgent and pressed the issue at matters was.
It all became quite clear December 3rd when I called the US Immigration and they confirmed by not being able to extend my working permit, AND when on that same day I got laid off.

Another effect that this sudden situation has had on my life here is just to appreciate every little thing as if it were my last day. I've been appreciating the smallest things like certain types of bird, or cheap coffee at a gas station, or the beautiful scenery of this place, or sales that I just can't pass on :) (I've always appreciated those!), or southern hospitality, or conversations with strangers, radio stations, my ability to drive (as bad as it is!), the spirit of Christmas, snow (though I haven't seen it yet haha I plan on seeing it once more before i leave!!), people watching in malls (I'm a creeper hehe), you name it....I've taken so many things for granted, and still do, but I'm trying to soak it all in. Each day that goes by, is a day closer to my crazy new big step in life!

I've also been feeling all of this soaking in physically. I've been getting random headaches, I've been getting really tired, I felt nausea last night, and I feel like I'm started to get sick, which could just be coincidental.

At this point, all I can do is trust and do my part of the job. I need to send my resume out a little bit of everywhere, and open my eyes and heart to what might be out there.

Also, all I can do is TRUST. Such an intense word. How can we TRUST after being hurt so many times, being disapointed, being let down, being betrayed and taken advantage of??
I suppose the answer is quite easy and clear. JESUS. Not only has he felt every bit of pain we each have, He promises to never do that to us. At this point the true question is: "How can I NOT trust? you know?"
So that is exactly what I intend on doing.

Beth Moore says this:" As God's children, we are the recipients of lavish love, a love that motivates us to keep trusting even when we have no idea what God is doing."
That is exactly what I am going through and how I feel. I have NO idea what God is doing, but I still choose to trust, no matter how hard it gets at times. I also have to trust God's timing. I have to trust that He will provide my every financial, spiritual, emotional, and physical need at this point. He has so far, so what should stop Him now?
My trusting Him is the right thing to do as crazy as it may seem and sound to some (believers and non), it really is the right thing to do.

PS: I've been receiving sweet and encouraging emails, or facebook comments and I can feel the prayers that are sent by So many my way and I am extremely grateful for that. Please bring it on. Satan is and will use whatever it is to make me feel down, discouraged, sad, and "encourage" me to give up but I refuse to do so, so thank you and keep it coming please.
In return, I will attempt to keep you updated on the evolution of all of this craziness!!

Thank you! mucho gracias, and merci beacoup!!!!

Do

Craziness in my life!

2010-12-04T12:24:00.000-08:00

Hello....

Where to begin...I guess I can start where I last left off. I am rejoicing in the Lord through hardship. I mean I don't know what's happening in my life but I do know God is here in the midst of it all.
I woke up with the song: "I will sing of your mercy that leads me through valleys of sorrow to rivers and joy. Halleluijah."

I am feeling so many mixed emotions right now, it's unreal. I feel peace. I feel fear. (big contradiction). I feel excitement. I feel sadness. I feel hope. I feel joy. I feel anxiety, slight panic, a bit of anger (a very small amount), confusion, astonishment, uneasyness...and so soooo much more!!

Here's the deal. I am leaving the U.S.A as of January 2nd when my permit ends. Everything happened so suddenly and I am still not fully understand of why, but as I said before I have faith (SO MUCH) that God will take care of me and this situation and once again prove Himself in miraculous ways!

Here's my plan for the next month: I have two weeks left of work in which I will be in Louisiana for the first week We have the busiest week yet. We have two shows in two schools each day of the week. It won't be extremely stressful, but it will be physically exhausting.
After that, we will be in San Antonio. We only have one show that week, which will give us time to work on our equipment before heading back!!
So after that we drive down to California, which ends my time with Camfel Productions. It's been a challenging but good journey for sure.
In california, I will pick up my car and belongings (yyeeessss) and head to Colorado to spend Christmas with loved ones :) Once that happens, I will then drive to Indiana and spend a little bit of time there with more loved ones. and THEN January 2nd of 2011 I will be flying out to God knows where.

This is where I need you. I need your support. I need encouragement. I need prayer. I trust that as brothers and sisters of Christ or as amazing friends you will provide that for me, and I am grateful for that.
It's been such a blessing to have been able to blog and see the support I have through the body of Christ and ones who just care for me.
It's been hard because I've been bouncing around from motel to motel, and I've been denied brothers and sisters in Christ and a stable community, and I've been really lonely, and I've lacked that consistency that any human being needs. In the midst of that I've found hope, joy, peace, and much growth through my relationship with God and even through many relationships I've made along the way or had already established before this journey began.
I am eternally grateful for that.

I am listening to myself as I type and I can't help but chuckle a bit because this blog entry sounds like it's the end of my life haha. It's the end of this journey but the beginning of a new one, one which I intend on still sharing with you all :)

The book I told you all about the other day was most definitely God sent.

Yesterday, I read about the hope we have in Christ through the gifts He's given us. Things like:

"And because we know Christ is alive, we have hope for the present and hope for life beyond the grave." (Billy Graham)

and

"God dwells in eternity, but time dwells in God. He has ready live all our tomorrows as he has lived all our yesterdays." (A. W. Tozer)

and

"Other men see only a hopeless end, but the Christian rejoices in an endless hope." Gilbert M. Beeken

have truly encouraged me in the midst of all of this.

This morning I read more on the subject of optimism and the power it has on us. You know it's all about pespective. We all have troubles. Mine aren't any worse than any of the ones you might be going through or any one else might be going through for that matter, but the beauty of it all is that we have faith. That thing inside of us that allows the dark to become light, the sad to become joy, the sorrow to become hope, the disbelief becomes belief. You know?
The optimisitic outlook that we as believers have makes the entire difference!

Romans 8:25 says "But if we look forward to something we don't have yet, we must wait patiently and confidently."

We can either sit on our butts in our pity box (which I've done far to many times, and will most likely do again!) and act like it is the end of the world, and cry our sorrows away OR we can rejoice, sing, praise God for allowing us to be going through whatever it is and count our blessings through it.
I am most definitely not an optimistic person by nature. You can ask anyone, but Christ has this amazing way of changing me by His grace, and convicting me.

"If you're overly worried by the inevitable ups and downs of life, God wants to have a litte chat with you. After all, God has made promises to you that He intends to keep. And if your life has been transformed by God's only begotten Son then you, as a recipient of God's grace have every reason to live courageaously."

I can't think of it right now, or find it. But this morning God reminded me of His promises. Whether it was while reading the Bible (i read a little bit of Psalm 119), or through this book, or just Him speaking to me through His Holy Spirit. Either way aside from this verse, God reminded me of His amazing plans for me, and His promises for my life and I fully trust that He plans on making them happen. I don't know how or when, but I trust and I will continue to do that.

I had a really strange dream last night. A lot of random but magnificent creatures surrounded me. It was surreal. Clearly just a dream, but it was amazing. I remember taking a lot of pictures of them :)
However, part of this dream had to do with me being a leader. I led a big group of people of all ages through a path and had a key to a place of comfort and safety.
I don't know why I am sharing this dream. I don't even know what it means. But maybe someday it will make sense. Or maybe it never will. Who knows.

Anywho....I believe I've shared enough for now. I will keep you all posted on the evolution of this "crisis" if you will, in my life. ;)

Be blessed, count your blessings, rejoice in the Lord and don't forget how much He adores you.

Love,
DJO

Thanksgiving Blessings

2010-12-02T12:08:00.000-08:00

Holaaaa!!

I've been such a stranger. My sincere apologies :(

Today is a very special day. It is my bff Lysiane's birthday and I hope she has the most amazing day ever!!!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all (even though I'm pretty much a week late on that one)! And happy holidays! Hope you are all embracing the Holiday spirit that's come very soon!!

Well in a nutshell....here's my past week and half:

I was beyond blessed with the ability to go to Illinois/Indiana. I owe you all a very big thank you for your prayers. God definitely heard them :)

Last week, before heading out, we had a couple of shows in New Mexico. We stayed in a very very small town that didn't have much for a couple of days. I remember Tiffany and I waking up extremely ansy feeling like we had nothing to do and were so bored. Whether it was the fact that we knew that we were only a couple days away from seing loved ones and getting a break, or whether it was just the fact that we were overwhelmed with boredom due to being tired of having the same routine. After a while, reading books, getting on facebook, watching the same old shows, etc etc gets very old.
I don't know exactly what caused this anxiety and extreme boredom, but we sort of laughed about it and continued to complain.

Anywho, tuesday was our extreme long day before our big trip on wednesday. We started out with two shows in one school. At the end of the last show, I was inspired to conclude in a completely different way. I felt like God put words in my mouth to really speak to certain students, maybe one. Who knows. I'll never know, but despite my fear of public speaking, I went ahead and encouraged the crap out of those kids using the words God put on my heart.
We continued our hectic day by going to a second school about 30 min away from the one we started out with, and thought everything seemed to be going wrong there, we were just that much closer to get our break. I remembered TIffany and I were planning ahead saying "How can we get out of here the quickest possible since we had a 7h drive waiting for us after our 4 shows that day. I also remember stopping myself at one point, and praying that God would allow me to focus on my goal here. My purpose won't be fulfilled if I just go on trying to rush the show, and conclude quickly "just to do my job" and nothing more.
So, though I told myself I'd conclude real fast, I took my time, and said whatever it is I felt I needed to say to conlcude the showing, hoping that my words would touch some student's hearts. Or essentially that God would use my "non rushed" words to touch hearts. They seemed to really enjoy the show and I was happy.
We got on the road, and 7 hours later, we were in Dallas Texas. My good friend Melanie Mahoney from highschool, (whom I hadn't seen in 5 years...or talked to in 3!!) was amazing. She welcomed us, agreed to keep an eye on our van while we were gone. She and I spent the night laughing, talking, reminiscing, and really seeing how we'd each grown. It was SUCH a blessing to see her. A great way to start my break! I am so grateful that God didn't allow my other friend to help us, because Melanie and I needed to see each other. I believe we both refreshed each other.

Melanie and I in Dallas, TX

ANYWHO!!!!

My break was amazing. I had a long long trip on wednesday, my best friend in Indiana Megan picked me up and surprised me by inviting another great friend of mine to a restaurant on our way from Indy to Illinois. We ate, laughed, took pics, and I was exhausted from not having slept the night before but OH SO HAPPY. Indiana/Illinois welcomed with with cold, grey, nasty weather, but you know what? I didn't care, it didn't even phase me. I was so overwhelmed with joy to be with Megan that the warmth in my heart radiated out through my spirit and nothing else mattered!
I spent an amazing thanksgiving break with Megan and her family in Illinois. Megan, her mother, and I did the whole waking up at 2:45am on black friday to do some crazy intense shopping. I was pretty much there for the experience, the rush, and moral support.
Friday night, we headed to Huntington and were able to hang out with a friend real quickly.
Saturday was going to be my only full day in Huntington and I woke feeling like crap :( I was frustrated because I wanted to see so many people and do so many things, but wasn't able to. It was a good day nonetheless, I was able to see a couple of very good friends.

Sunday was spent at the 509. The building where my church and I worship God, grow as individuals, as a community, and learn more about God through our relationships, convictions, and our Shepherd Matthew Brown.
I've spent 4 years worshipping with this community and it truly has allowed me to grow as a servant of Christ beyond belief. I am always filled with joy when I am there.
After service, we went to the community house and had a simple lunch food wise, but amazing lunch fellowship wise. Living in community. How much I miss that~ I got a sweet taste of what Heaven will someday be like :)

Sunday afternoon...after searching for hours for my lost wallet (i left it in plants outside of Megan's house. Go figure!) we picked up my good friend Eric and road tripped to Chicago.
A great roadtrip it was. Many tough questions and discussions about our faith and who we are. It was intense, especially since we were all exhausted, it made it harder to concentrate, but definitely good.

Eric, Megan, and myself after our roadtrip

THEN....I GOT TO SEE MY PARENTS!!!! :D for the first time in a year. It was sooo good. Unfortunately we got there late, and despite their extreme fatigue they stayed up for 2 hours with me. THe next mornging I had to fly back out to Dallas, meaning I only got 2 more hours with them on monday morning. A total of 4 hours with my parents was definitely better than nothing.

Oh how God works in mysterious ways. What are the odds...that my parents and I would be 4 hours away from each other on the same weekend in the same place!?!?!? BLESSED!

SOOO that was my break.

Work has been good. We are all getting to a point where we are tired, and anxious to know about next semester and want to start planning our Xmas breaks, but we understand that our boss has been very busy. God's been working muchos muchos patience in our hearts.
I thought I was going to be all sad and depressed coming back to the job after being with so many loved ones but GOD IS SO FAITHFUL!!

Not only did I get to relax with Melanie monday night when she picked me up from the airport, but God was able to bless us with an easy setup/school on tuesday morning, AND He allowed me to find the PERFECT SPOT for our stay in Arkansas.
We have been staying at the Willow Beach Motel in Hot Springs Arkansas. Our room is a cute little spot with a kitchen, and an amazing view of Lake Hamilton. We have a floating dock right outside of our room.

I've woken up extremely early for the past two morning watching the sunrise and what a peaceful and humbling way to start the day. I AM SO BLESSED. GOD IS SO FAITHFUL!!!!!!!

Ok....SO....every year of my life since I've been in the US. It seems like something intense happens where I must let go of everything and completely trust God in it.
This time of the year has come. Yesterday morning I found out news that will have a huge effect on whether I stay in the US next year or not.
At first, it seemed surreal and I couldn't even think straight, but then I realized what was happening. It was that time of the year in my life again. And instead of freaking out, I got sort of excited. I thought to myself. Oh my Goodness! God is going to be glorified through this.
Either a new step in my life is about to happen, which is beyond exciting to know I'm moving forward with life OR God is truly going to manifest his glory through this!

You see, I've been extremely blessed growing up. I grew up in a missionary family, we've never been wealthy or anwhere near it. So growing up, I never expected to make a lot of money in the futur. I knew what it was like to live day by day, month by month completely relying on God's providing.
This is one of the best gifts (other than this son) that God could have given me as a human being. My whole life, I've witnessed LIVE God's providing whatever was needed in my family. It seemed so normal and simple. It was kind of like common sense. Like "Oh something's not right, or we don't have money, or we can't do this so automatically go to God...duuuh."
I know it's not that simle, but it really is. I was blessed to see His miraculous works in my parent's life who have been the most amazing example of living by faith and not by sight. I am SO thankful for that.

This is why I am the worry free person that I am today. Sometimes it gets me in trouble because I believe sooo much that God will take care of something that sometimes I just sit on my butt and do nothing to solve whatever it is.

I just bought a devotional book yesterday called "21 minutes for 21 days." The very first chapter talks about faith. How perfectly appropriate for the news I got that day.
The author says "If you are waiting for someone else to solve your problems or if you are waiting for God to patch things up by Himself, you may become impatien, despondents, or both. But when you stop waiting and start working, God has a way of pitching in and finishing the job. Believe in the Lord and He will do half of the work...the last half."

So what I need from you right now is prayer. Please pray for wisdom, guidance, and definitely discipline to keep seeking God's will at this very important in my life.
It's easy to focus on the negative right now. I have no money, I have no family in the US, I'm not using my passion (in photography and videography) the way I was hoping I would by now, I am single..bla bla bla bla...BUT I choose not to. I chose to look up to the Heavens and rejoice. Rejoice for He will do something big in my life....He will continue to allow me to grow in, with, and through HIM.

Here are a few quotations concerning faith that really encouraged me, and I hope that they encourage you as well.

"Faith is seeing light with the eyes of your heart, when the eyes of your body see only darkness. (Barbara Johnson)

"For we walk by faith, not by sight." (2Cor 5:7)

"Teach us to set our hopes on heaven, to hold firmly to the promise of eternal life, so that we can withstand the struggles and storms of this world." (Max Lucado)

The author of this devotional reminds us that "If you don't have faith, you'll never move mountains. But if you do have faith, there's no limit to the things that you and God , working together, can accomplish.

AMEN to THAT!!!

God bless you all :D

Do

The Journey resumes

2010-11-11T12:04:00.000-08:00

November 11th

Readers,

In French, I would say "Trop c'est Trop!" (literal translation would be: "too much is too much") basically meaning. ENOUGH!!
It's been to long :(

Honestly last week was one of the hardest weeks yet. For multiple reasons, all jampacked in one week, and for those of you who know me well, when things aren't going "my way" I usually retreat, become MIA (translation for mom: ca veut dire missing in action, je disparais quoi), and I keep to myself until I get out of my pity box or things get better.

So, I basically did to you my dear reader what I tend to do in real life to whoever is near me. I retreated, kept to myself, and decided not to write on this blog until I decided I could come out of my pity box, and when things got better.

For that, I apologize. But at the same time, the whole point of this blog as I said in one of my very first entries is to encourage you with my experiences on this journey, not to discourage you by pouring out my sad, pitiful, filled with sorrow life. (that was definitely and exageration). So when things are dark and the clouds consume me, I don't want to share the thunder, lightning, and let the rain pour out on you. I like to wait till the sun comes back out so I can share its light and joy with you all, if that makes any sense.

I decided I wouldn't go into details of various happenings of my last week, but I'm sure some of you were able to see my statuses and sort of kept up with my state of mind at the time. A lot of you in fact really truly encouraged me and prayed for me after seeing some of my statuses. Such statuses as:

"Oh Heavens...no phone for a couple of weeks. what am i going to do on the road now? :("

"I would scream at the top of my lungs right now BUT I am in a public place. crap."

"After a long day...all I want to do is get on the phone and talk to some peeps but I just realized I think I forgot my chargor in the motel we were at 2 nights ago. sad sad day."

"does anyone know where I could purchase a time traveler??"

"Dorina Oliveira is blaaaaaah"

Ok Ok you get the point. A lot of you read these and were absolutely encouraging and prayed for me and for that I am extremely thankful.

Well as far as my phone is concerned, I forgot my charger (which I found out the hard way was a very rare charger apparently) in a motel last week, and over the weekend was phoneless for 5 days. We went to my coworker's friends' house in Haviland over the weekend and it was just very hard for me to be there without a phone. I was extremely happy for her to be with familiar faces in a familiar place, but I couldn't help but envy it, and the lack of phone just made it all the harder to cope with it all.

Um another thing about last week is I found out once again that some people in my life aren't true friends and it was hurtful yet very necessary. The way I see it is as if I am taking garbage to a dumpster. I know this sounds kind of harsh, but so many times we sacrifice ourselves for people we care for, and when we don't get anything in return, we realize the truth of the matter and it's kind of refreshing in the midst of the pain to be able to come to terms with it and stop allowing these people to take from you without giving in return you know?

Well these are two small instances out of many ones that happened last week. I got to a point where you hit a wall and know you can get over it, but you just don't have the strength or desire to climb it. It was hard. I was discouraged. Tired. Overwhelmed. Lonely. Ready to quit.
The beauty of it is that God did not give me (or any of us) the spirit of a quitter or a failure. No matter how hard we try, we will fail, but we just get up and get back on track.

SO the journey resumes.

In fact I just read in Max Lucado and he reminds us that God never lets us fall. That wall that I faced and was to tired to climb, well God gave me a harness (the Holy Spirit), a rope (His word), and a guide (Himself).
"My first steps on this journey were strong and confident, but with the journey came weariness, and with the height came fear. I lost my footing. I lost my focus. I lost my grip, and I fell. For a moment, which seemed like forever, I tumbled wildly. Out of self-control. Disoriented. Dislodged. Falling. But then the rope tightened, and the tumbling ceased. I hung in the harness and found it to be strong. I grasped the rope, and found it to be true. I looked at my guide and found Jesus securing my soul. With a sheepish confession I smiled at him and he smiled at me and the journey resumed."
Max Lucado

Yes the journey resumes. I'm back. And what do I do at the end of my journey? I thank Him who allowed me not to fall and helped me back up.

After getting back on the journey, I felt refreshed and actually tuesday morning, I woke up excited. It was our first time since friday to present a show in a school again. We had three showings in two schools. I woke up pumped. I prayed that morning asking God to allow Tiff and I to use every ounce of strenght and energy to do the best we could in order to impact kids. I wanted to be used by God. It was the cry of my heart that morning.

After a couple very frustrating set ups, I felt annoyed, and once again forgot why I was doing this. It's so easy to lose track of our purpose when we take our eyes off a Jesus. But when our heart is in the right place, God is quick to put our eyes right back where they need to be looking.
That afternoon, after all of our shows were done, we had to rush our tear down in order to let the volleyball coach set up the net on the gym.
In the midst of my rushing and telling kids what to do while attempting to be productive myself, a highschool girl comes up to me and says. "I am sorry to bother you, I know you are busy with tearing down and all but I just wanted to talk to you for a few seconds." Right that moment, I dropped whatever I was doing and gave her my full attention while smiling and saying "Not a problem at all! What's up?"
She then opened up by talking about how she has been diagnosed with cancer and has had a really hard time at school because not only does she get teased now, but the friends she once had now treat her like a "dead fish" and because of all of this she had decided to transfer from this school into a private school in december. The only problem with that is the fact that the private school wouldn't provide her with as good of an education as the one she was currently at. However, after watching the video, she felt motivated to stick it out, tough it up, and stay in this school because her education right now matters more than the way people treat her or whatever anyone thinks about her.
"Oh My God." was all I could think of. Praise you God. Thank you Lord. Halleluijah!
I thanked her for sharing, asked for her name, and told her I'd keep her in mind and pray for her. I just wanted to hug her, but that would've been inappropriate.
I was filled with SO much joy after that. I don't think Carlie realized how much she had impacted me and encouraged me by sharing that with me. I was so thankful to God for using Tiff and I to impact Carlie. So grateful.
If you guys could keep Carlie in your prayers as well, that'd be great.
I guess afterwards I was so happy that when we got gas on our way back to our motel, I went into the gas station to get our receipt, and the old man at the registar said "Well aren't you happy and cheery today??" I smiled and said "Oh, I guess...:)" and he said "Well you sure like it and it's definitely good to see!"

I guess I was so exuberant that a stranger not only noticed it but had to say something about it. I hadn't even realized.

Kids like Carlie, are the reason I do this job. The reason I put up with so much stuff. It makes it ALL worth it.
Thank you Lord for gently lifting my head head so I could set my eyes back on you, right when I was started to lose track again.

I don't know how many kids we impact, and just because we sometimes receive blank stares at the end of a show doesn't mean they didn't get something out of it. If kids don't come up to us at the end and tell us how the movie impacted us, it doesn't mean God didn't do great things in that school on that day.
I need to trust that if I give my all, God does the rest.

So I somewhat caught you up on most of the happenings of the past week and half.

We are currently in Texas (curently in George Bush' home town to be more precise), in which we will be until the end of the tour. Our boss is already thinking about next semester and where he is putting who and who is going to work with who. So if you could keep him in your prayers, it's a very intense part of the job. Very stressful, many decisions to be made and a lot of thinking and organizing in order to shift things smoothly.
I'm excited (in fact kind of impatient :/ ) to know where I'll be and who I'll work with next semester. Oh the suspense. It's aaaallll in God's hands, which I need to keep reminding myself!

By the way, I forgot to update you about the fact that I AM GOING TO INDIANA/ILLINOIS FOR THANKSGIVING. WOOHOOOOO!!!!!! I am so excited to go back to my church, see my most of my friends, and SEE MY PARENTS!! GOD IS GREAT!!
Thank you for your faithful prayers, He heard them :)

And another update was that two weekends ago, I was able to to stay in Nixa, MO which is where Tiffany and I had stayed at the beginning of the month of October. It was an amazing feeling to have all the deks workers and cleaning ladies remember me and and get so excited to see me. I hung out and talked with them quite a bit. They were like "don't leave!!!" haha.
I was also able to meet up with a former soccer teammate of mine from back when I played in college. We had great conversations and laughter over some yummy pizza. It was quite a good weekend!

Brenda and I in Nixa, MO

Everything else went downhill from there haha. But I'm good to go now. :)

Be blessed and don't take your eyes off our guide who knows you by name is holding on to your rope and won't let you fall. not for a second.

much love,

DjO

Sabbath. Day of rest and revelations!

2010-10-31T12:01:00.000-07:00

Hi. :)

WOAH! OMG. I'm quite excited. What a refreshing Sabbath!!

So, last night, when I blogged about Isaiah 58 and all that, I was blogging and didn't feel like much flowed, in fact I was wondering what I was typing and why. I still was very grateful for the reminder I got about "it's not about me, it's about others and definitely God" but other than that, I felt like it all kind of came out of nowhere."

Well, after reading/blogging last night, I was on the phone with my amazing friend Megan and she told me to read Hebrews 11. So, I promised her that I would and I did that this morning before going to "The Bridge," the same church I'd been a month ago when I recently blogged about "CRAZY LOVE."

PS: we are in the same town as we were a month ago, which is so refreshing and relaxing!

So anywho, this morning, I wake up, get my coffee, go downstairs for breakfast and start talking with the desk lady. We'd talked quite a bit last time I was here in Nixa, so we just started back off where we'd last left off.
She told me her father was an incredible man who decided to hitchhike one day and move to Nicaragua to become a missionary. He packed a tall military bag and just left. He lived in tents and eventually got married and has kids there now.
His hope now is to move to Peru and use his agriculture degree to teach the Peruvians how to use agriculture to hopefully make means, which I think is phenomenal.
It got me thinking about what I someday want to do, and how much I respect it when people have a passion and use that passion wholeheartedly for God, and those who need to benefit from that skill or knowledge. I think it's great when people become missionaries simply to preach the Word and save lives spiritually, but I think it's all the more amazing when people use physical needs as well as a means to reach out to the needy. So, that was a cool story I got to hear.

Then, I decided to read Hebrews 11, which is a reccord of all the great men and women in the Bible who have become famous through their faithfulness. Faith. So important. So crucial in our lives. The fact that these great names were able to get to that point in their lives is that they were focused on an eternal prize. A lot of them ended up not receiving the promise they were reaching for in the end, but that didn't matter to them because they were focused on God and spending eternity with Him someday. That was their reward. They had that vision. That out of the world faith that "gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Through their faith, the people in days of old earned a good reputation." (Heb 11: 1-2)
I asked the desk lady to read verses 8 through 10: "It was by faith that ABraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going And even when he reached the land God proised him he lived there by faith, for he was like a foreigher, living in tens. Ans so did Isaac and Jaccob who inherited the same promise. Abraham was fonidently looking forward to a city with eternal foundations, a city designed by God."
She smiled and told me she got goosebumps after reading because the reason I had her read it is because when I read it, it reminded me of her father and what he'd done.
The other day, I checked my "what does God want you to know today" facebook application and it said:
"God wants you to know that infinite possibilities are born of faith. Do you think that's air you breathe; that's earth you walk on. All matter is God's creation. And the source is faith. When you have so much faith that you become one of faith, infinite possibilities open up to you."
What that reminded me that day was what I had blogged about when I talked about faith being a gift from God and when we accept it, our eyes open up to SO much more. We find ways to love the unlovable, see the unseen, believe in the impossible.
I'm going somewhere with all of this :)

This morning, we went to the Bridge and the pastor talks about how they've been reading out of the book Crazy Love and how chapter 7 was all about giving to the needy and having a certain vision and faith like the faith of the people that are named in Hebrews 11. So at this point, I'm like "wooah, I just read about this this morning! Crazy!"
I guess the title of chapter 7 is "the best life is later."
So then, the pastor goes on talking about how the gospel that we believe in is one focused on HIm and what He's done for us. What he wants from us, not what we want. How this Christian life is difficult because we are constantly torn between what we want (the flesh) and what He wants (the Spirit). It's not about us nor should it ever be, and as Christians we are called to be givers and not consumers.
He talks about this same vision I had read about that morning and goes on saying that the names in Hebrews 11 had a vision for the after life.The nomades and the travelers were focused on the eternal perspective that enabled them to endure anyting that this life brough their way. They focus was on something higher, the prize.
Then he went on talking about love again, and that crazy love that we receive from God. The only way we can love the way God loves us (all of us) is if we have that same vision and heart that these people had as well. God loves us all, every single one of us, but he also has a heart for the poor, the needy, the hungry, the widows, the orphans. We see that numerous times in the Bible.
He read out of Proverbs 31
8-9 "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless and see that they get justice."
This is God's heart. This should also be our heart.
So at this point of the sermon, I'm thinking "um....that's exactly what I blogged about yesterday. this is getting beyond crazy ridiculous and cool!"

This vision that is provided by faith leads to conviction. It's easy to overlook those in need. A lot of times we do things out of selfishly generous thought. And by that I mean that we do generous things to be seen, receive approval, and be praised. So in the end not only do we get expectations from these things, but we are doing them for ourselves more than for the person we are being generous towards. I'll be the first one to admit that I do that. When we don't get praises, we get frustrated, like "what the heck, why is no one grateful for this," or "what was the point of me even doing that?" you know?
Another point the pastor touched on was how important it is to balance the scale out for others.
This was really cool, I was able to relate with this point really well because I hear about it at least 4 times a week since one of the videos we show to kids is called "Balance of Power." It's all about fairness and equality and how most times life isn't fair, but the way we respond to the things coming our way determines the outcomes for ourselves and the people around us. How instead of being discouraged by unfairness, we should use it as a way to balance the scales out and make right decisions since they affect everyone around us, and become better people through them.
So the pastor talking about balancing scales hit home base for me. He meant that a lot of times, we overlook the needs of others and feed into our wants more than in the needs of others. It's easy to shut our eyes off to what people need simply so we can fulfill our wants BUT if we have that vision from God, our eyes open up to those in need and our heart transform to break for the things that break God's heart.

ok this gets crazy. THEN the pastor busts out Isaiah 58, which I'm like OMG God is amazing. The very thing I was blogging about last night without fully understanding where it was coming from was all to prepare me for this morning's message :D

Isaiah 58. The Israelites were doing everything they thought they should be doing. Everything that was written down in the law, but didn't get anything in return and were annoyed.
Isaiah 58:2 talks about the Israelites' actions. "Yet they act so pious! They come to the Temple every day and seem delighted to learn all about me. They act like arighteous nation that would never abandon the laws of its God. They ask me to take action on their behalf, pretending they want to be near me.
They say: "We have fasted before you! Why aren't you impressed?"

This verse reminded me of two things. First it lead me to Romans 2 where it talks about the Jews who rely on God's law and are terrible examples to the Gentiles mainly because they "follow" the law but lack the faith and heart that is needed there. They preach but don't act according to their word. They act as if they are righteous but instead lead people astray. (I blogged about this in September).

The second thing that was revealed to me when we read the first couple of verses from Isaiah 58 was something that Max Lucado wrote about in "A gentle thunder."
Max talks about the Holy Spirit and it's so easy for a lot of people to read the Word, go to "Church" (we are the Church, but you know what I mean) and do things that are told to be done, but in the end leave the Holy Spirit out of it and end up falling flat on their faces. I loved the illustration Max uses when he describes this type of living as dancing without any music.
These people view the Bible as an instruction book to teach how to live (or dance) and they are so focused on the things to do that they forgot all about what matters. God. And His heart. They end up learning all the moves, the footsteps, writing it all down. Following it rule by rule, instruction by instruction. But in the end, they forget to turn the music on. Max says this "We Christians are prone to follow the book while ignoring the music. We master the doctrine, outline the chapters, memorize the dispensations, debate the rules, and stiffly step down the dance floor of life with no music in our hearts. We measure each step, calibrate each turn, and flop into bed each night exhausted from another day of dancing by the book."

How true is that? How sad is that to.

So anyways, back to the sermon.

The Israelites are doing what they think is right. What they thought they were supposed to do and didn't receive anything from God in return... Remember how at the beginning of this entry I talked about how easy it is for us to do things expecting something in return because we give for selfish reasons. Well that's exactly what the Israelites were doing. They were dancing with no music on.

Isaiah 58:6-7 talks about God's view of what should be done and why it should be done. "Free those who are wrongly imprisoned, lighten the burden of those who work for you. Let the oppressed go free, and remove the chains that bind people. Share your food with the hungry, and gie shleter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help."
THat's God's heart right there. Justice and equality. Freedom.

When we get this vision and become one of faith, our heart breaks for these same things.
Before, we either gave out of pity or selfish motives, but now that we are a new creation and are after God's heart, we give out of LOVE. Just like God gave us out of love. God didn't pity us. He didn't want anything from us when he sacrificed his Son. He did it all because he loved us. Now we are to give because we are filled with that same love and the vision has led us to conviction.

Along with this, the pastor (and the chapter of Isaiah 58)is focusing on giving physical things such as money, clothes, food, etc... But I believe this also goes into giving away time, love, care or whatever we have to offer anyone in need. God's love for us is so crazy that He gave us patience, love, His life, His Holy Spirit, faith, eternity, and so much more. So if we are made in God's image, and we love Him so passionately, why can't we give patience, love, our lives, our faith and beliefs, our listening ear, and whatever else to others?

It sounds so much easir than it actually is. But isn't that what life is all about. Challenging ourselves to continuously become better people. I have a really good friend who amazes me. He is constantly trying to find ways of bettering himself. He refuses to settle. He refuses to be ok at something. The beauty of it isn't that he wants to be praised for it. He genuinely wants to give God the best of the best and His all. Talking to him fascinates me. For example tonight, I talked with him a bit about all of this, and he shared how there is someone in his life that has constantly hurt him and he found it hard to forgive them, but in the end he would always forgive because he felt like it was the right thing to do. Now he is able to forgive them because "it's become second nature to me, like it's normal to forgive him because I love him, and as a Christian I can't let his words affect me nor define me." This friend of mine challenges me to be better person and do better. I hope this blog can encourage and challenge you as well.
I'm not there yet, but I hope I can get there some day.

Isaiah 58: 8-9
Then your salvation will come like the dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal. Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind Then when you call, the Lord will answer: Yes I am here, he will quickly reply."

Wow, what a great promise. How phenomenal is our Father!??? There is to much joy in forgetting about ourselves and doing God's work. So much!
When we are able to have that heart, we no longer have those expectations anymore. We do because we are called to, just like Abraham, Jacob, Isaac, Joseph, Abel, Enoch, Noah, Moses, Sarah, and all these other people in the Bible were called for a specific task.

Let's not forget that the prize is Heaven. Nothing on this earth should satisfy us. Unfortunately a lot does. But, if we have that heart,vision, and faith the possibilites are endless.

Hebrews 11:39-40

All these people earned a good reputation because of their faith, yet none of them received all that God promised. For God had something better in mind for us, so that they would not reach perfection without us."

Hebrews 12: 1-2

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of fait, let us stip off every weight that slows us down, espeicaily the sin that so easily trips us up, And let us run with endurnce teh reace God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes focused on Jesus, the champion who initiantes and perfects our faith. Because of joy awaiting him, he endured the corss, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne."

BLESSINGS. I love you. Thanks for the prayers. :D

His servant,
Dorina Julia Oliveira

Fall

2010-10-30T11:43:00.000-07:00

Oct 30th

Happy Halloween....for what it's worth....

Wow, I've only blogged like 7 times this month? hmm...slacker.
sorry...

Well, I am sitting at a starbucks sipping on a pumpkin spice latte listening to the Joshua Radin pandora music station and just soaking life in.

We've had a pretty intense week. Actually, not really. But in comparison to our previous weeks, it was.

We had more shows, and on friday we had a double school show, which requires us to set up and tear down twice in a day. At the end of our last show on friday, I proceeded to load the entire van by myself while Tiffany was repairing one of our fabrics. So I loaded the whole van, minus the box of frames she was working on.
Let me tell you that that was a workout!! I was so exhausted and sore afterwards! Gosh. But it was my fault. I could've just been patient and waited for her to finish repairing the fabric so she could help me, but I didn't.

Needless to say, I am still exhausted. Not much sleep this past week, and a lot of driving/setting up/tearing down. Tiffany even called me out on not being enthusiastic enough yesterday while I was doing one of my conclusions. I needed that.
Thankfully, we ended our show with an elementary school, which are my favorites. The only downfall is that they gave us 5th graders to help us set up, which was more tirering than helpful. They still made me laugh quite a bit though, minus the time a kid ran into one of our projector tables after I'd spent some time lining that projector up with our center projector.

Anyways, I am blabbering. I'm kind of just typing without even thinking about the words flowing through my fingers. I apologize for that, and will attempt to focus now.

So, lately I've been tired, distant, and just thinking a lot about nothing. My mind's been quite blank and I don't know why. I'm not sure whether it's the fatigue, or the fact that this job is draining, or the fact that I haven't spent time in the Word in a couple days. WHo knows.

Well my blogging just got interrupted by a three way skype with my sister and a really good friend. Filled with joy and laughter. I had to share :)

ANyways, as I told you, I've been kind of blank/numb/almost no ability to show any emotion. Joy, anger, sadness, enthusiasm, and that's very unlike me. So one of my favorite things to do when I feel this way is to go back to my journals for this specific reason:

(from my journal of 3 years ago, I was feeling much like I am "feeling" right now and decided to go to a coffee shop with my books, Bible, and journal much like I am doing now and here is what I wrote)

"When I am feeling like this, of course out of all of these books the one to go to is the Bible if I am seeking answers. Well, I forgot to mention a fourth book, it is usually the closest thing to you that you soon find to ignore.The book I have written myself. It's a book of 200 pages or more, the book of lessons, experiences, joy, sadness, and hardship. A book that God's used for me to pour out my heart but also to revive my spirits. A book of life, my life. It's my book. it has my name on it and it is filled with wisdom that the Holy Spirit Himself poured out on my heart nd allowed me to write. As I read past stories of the journal I am currently writing in, I received answers beyond answers. I am not saying that my journal is more important than the Bible or any ohter scholarly written book, but I've just realized that this journal is not only filled with scripture from the most important book written in the world, but also personal insight from my own thoughts and life experiences and even better; It contains the Holy Spirit's direct words to ME. It's a story of my friendship and relationship with Christ and so much H'es tuaght me and allowed me to jot down so that during difficult times like now, I can go back to these and be reminded that for 1. I've fone through this before and made it and 2. I can read the same words of encouraement I was given in the past to help me through it. This journal is so precious to me. At the end end of it, all I have is God. All of the people in this journal will someday pass, but God is constant and everlasting, neverending and neverchanging and in the end end He's always there through the good th ebad, the tough and the sad. HE IS.
So all of these questions I have, they are right here and so are the answers. I don't need to go searching any farther than that. I find joy in what I've written because it's woken me up, and I feel enlightened."

So alll of this to say, on top of praying and reading the word, one of my favorite things to do when I'm feeling down or confused, is reading through past journals because they really encourage me.
And also all of this to say that I read this before typing things out and it reminded me of something crucial. (2 year old journal):

"Isaiah 58: 7-9

Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter, when you see the naked, to clothe him ad not to turn away from your flesh and blood.
Then your light will break forth like the dawn and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of God will be your rear guard. Then you will call and the Lord will answer. You will cry for help, and He will say: Here I am."
I get it now, it's not about me. Lately I've been living a life of my own desires but He is reinding me that His ways are higher and this right here is what my selfish ways lead me towards and if I follow His ways, He has something much better planned for me. I must remember that it's not about me but it's about Him and others. It's about treating my family right, realizing that many have way more issues than I do and I sould be thankful before complaining or whining about anything because I have so many things to be grateful for. "

So there. A good reminder for me. and hopefully a good one for you as well. We all go through crap, but it's important to step outside of our box and think about what others might be going through before making a big deal about our issues.
Like I said, I have nothing to complain about, so I don't know why I'm feeling this way. Only God knows.
I know this wasn't anything new or that you've never heard before, but hopefully it was a good and necessary reminder. It was one for myself, that's for sure.

That's all I got for ya. Keep me in your prayers and please facebook me of comment on my blog and give me some prayer requests of your own.

Love,

D

PS: that's a pic I just took of myself . just felt like it randomly...I look tired. :)

Long/Busy week

2010-10-27T11:31:00.000-07:00

Well Hello!!

I hope you are doing wonderfully :) If not. I pray that God may uplift your spirits.

Well...this entry will be filled with random thoughts. Who knows maybe I will find a way to connect everything. But don't hold your breath on that. hehe.

So this week has been going by waayyy slower than last week. I guess last week we had 2 days of driving and the 3 days after were filled with things to look forward to (my bday, getting paid, and getting a package.)
This week...not so much. Our weeks are getting busier to. You'd think that it'd allow the week to go by faster, but for some reason I feel like this week is neverending. I am not quite sure why. :/

Well yesterday was a good day. We had an afternoon show and the school was very nice. The contact people helped us and a couple kids helped as well. The contact people were very open with us. Telling us all about themselves and the drama they go through and cussing in front of us haha. It feels good to have people feel that comfortable around you. The kids that stood out to me were the two "geeks" as they called themselves.
They weren't really geeks in my opinion. Actually if they are geeks, than I am to. They were just extremely passionate about media and kept asking us detailed questions about how we ran everything, which cables we used, which ones went where and how it all worked out. It was funny.

Another kid that stood out to me was this socially off kid with his buttcrack hanging out the whole time and an intense lisp to go along with it. He was such a sweetheart though.
At the end of everything, while Tiffany and I were talking to the contact people that had helped us, I noticed this kid walking home from all the way accross the lawn. So I asked our contact people his name, and when they gave it to me, I yelled "THANKS FOR HELPING US TODAY ARNOLD!!!!!" and a huge grin appeared on his face as he waved and say "no problem!"
Our contact lady told us that him helping us had made his entire year. He was so excited to help out and it just made me smile inside!!

We headed to another town about 3 hours away from this school after that, and we drove through a town we'd stayed at a couple weeks ago. This town had the best coffee shop, so we stopped and i knew exactly which drink I was going to get. I was SO excited!! It was delicious.
Since I didn't want to sleep in the car like I usually do, I decided to bust out my junior year from college journal. Wow. What an emotional trip that was to read it.

I guess I went through quite some tough times that year. I teared up reading what I had gone through. Many many hardships, but it was AMAZING to see how I clung on to the Lord and be reminded of the thigns he'd revealed to me in the midst of all that hardship.

Some day when I feel like writing on here but have no idea what to write, I'll bust out an entry from this journal to encourage you guys. The Holy Spirit gave me some good stuff that year.
IN fact here's a little something that I want to share. I was praying one morning and I was telling God how much I despised myself and he asked me to write down the words that came to mind whenever I thought of myself. So I wrote down really negative things. Then, in His gentle soft voice, He whispered the way he viewed me. They were all beautiful things.

4 months later, I worked at a Christian camp, and our staff director had us to a mini exercise where we should write down the way we used to view ourselves, and to write down the way we now viewed ourselves, and then to have each of us write down an attribute we admired from the other. So here are the things I wrote down:
Old self:
worthless, loud, obnixious, talkative (empty words), proud, sinful and dirty, disorganized and confused, judgemental, gossip, rebellious, not worthy of being loved, agnry and bitter, annoying.
God's view of me:
beauty, strength, heart of genuine kindness, passion inside waiting to burst out, love, perseverance.
New me:
encourager, open-minded, people lover, strong soul, gift, joy, inside beauty, listening ear, wisdom, confidence, comforter, bright light,
what others wrote about me:
lots of heart, humble attitude, friend, difference maker, always looking for something to serve Him with, Joy, beautiful warrior, on fire, foundation, awesome open heart.

WOW.

How amazing is that difference. between the first paragraph and the second.

Col 3:10 "Put on your new nature and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him."

Now, don't get me wrong. I still have MANY ways to go. many many. we all do. But my point here is to focus on the positive. Focus on the good. Let's stop dwelling on the past and what we once were. Or even focus on the faults that we have or the mistakes we make. or the mistakes others make. yes we are human, and yes we wil stumble and fall, but isn't God amazing and isn't he a God of grace? If he is able to have mercy upon, shouldn't we give ourselves a bit of mercy.

I was talking with a friend of mine and we talked about this the other day. How satan wants us to live in the past, or stress about the futur. he wants us to think we are still those old selves we were. or he wants to think we are absolutely worthless for the Kingdom of God. He allows our fear of failure to keep us from doing anything. When I make a mistake (which happens very often), I immediately want to give up and say "i'm never gonna be like Christ, what's the point?" The point is the fact that God will not forsake us no matter what. He sees our heart and that's all that matters to HIm. The mere fact that we are trying to attain this goal that seems unattainable, is enough. His mercy is enough. His grace is enough. Praise Him for that.
Don't fall into satan's trap. Don't live in the past. You have become a new creation through the blood of Christ and nothing can change that no matter how much you stumble and fall!

Romans 6:6 "We know that our old selves were crucified with Christ so thtsin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ, we were set free from the power of sin. "
Amen to that!

I didn't realize I was going to write this much about this, but oh well there ya have it :)

This morning, I prayed to God that I would be a bright light to whomever I interacted with. That I would be a breath of fresh air for His kingdom and His glory. This prayer reminded me of a prayer from my journal that I had read yesterday:

Thank you for this day.
Fill it in every way.
Let my words be kind and few.
So I may have your wisdom in view.
Let my heart be filled with love and humility so that I may fill your kingdom with glory and
Let my thought be pure and true
and may all the glory be returned to you.

After praying this, I checked my email and had a really encouraging email from a close friend. He shared a link with me and Megan and asked us to read us. He then wrote each of us very encouraging words. He told me to be a bright light today and dance at some point today, even if it's just in my head. :)

I followed his advice. I don't know if I was a bright light or breath of fresh air to anyone, but I sure do hope I was.
Today, after our show, a girl walked up to me and after stumbling on her words finally let it out. She expressed how much she loved the video because she is different from anyone else. She said that due to happenings in her past, she has brain damage, and is now very different from everyone and treated that way.
I told her I hoped with all of my heart that people would see beauty in that difference. She smiled and said "I don't know, but my outlet is art. I'm really good at it."
I told her to hold on to that and said "I encourage you to give it your all and not to let anyone define you but yourself."
I should've told her I'd pray for her, but my mind was distracted between what to tell her, and a group of kids wanting to talk to me right next to her.
I'm proud of myself for giving her full attention though, because usually it's very easy for me to get distracted, especially since we were in the middle of tearing down. I hope I was able to encourage her. I know for sure the video encouraged her and I am so glad about that.
Once again, if our video can make a change in ONE child's life. It's all worth it!!

So that was our day.

We are now in Salina, KS. 40 minutes away from tomorrow morning's school. Tomorrow will be semi long. Our show is at 9. Meaning we'll need to be there around 7. Meaning the latest we can leave is 6:30. Meaning we have to wake up around 5:45. eeeek.
After that, we have about 8 hours to drive to head to Arkensas, which is where we'll be for the weekend.

Joy.

On my way to this Mcdonald's to type all of this out (because I can't blog unless I go somewhere...weird.), I ran into a mall. BAD NEWS. I just got back from a mini shopping spree. Oh boy.

I'm really blessed with deals. always. in fact my friends get very jealous of me because of that. I got 4 pairs of shoes tonight and the total was under $34. Also got a new jacket/coat for $14. And I bought a new polo shirt, cus the ones we were for work are getting real old real fast.
So yup. I'm happy with that :)

Still no news on the thanksgiving trip but I will keep you all posted for sure.
Oh and my ipod is still DEAD. sad day.

Thanks again for reading (Mom, Anne, and Debra) :D and everyone else!!!!

much love,

DJO

2010-10-26T11:28:00.000-07:00

Dear reader,

I've decided to write more often. I'm not making any promises but it makes sense to write more short entries, even if I don't have much to say, rather than bombard you with a super long entry trying to update you with days or weeks worth of stuff. So here I go...

I had a good weekend. We went to a church that was right next to our motel and though small, it was full of love. Every one welcomed us. THere were probably just about 100 people in the congregation and more than half of the congregation shook our hands asking us our names and introducing themselves to us. So very nice.

The sermon was good as well. I was off in my own little world though for most of it :/
But I was reminded one important thing through it all. That as a body of Christ, we, as Christians can pretty much do anything, accomplish anything for the Kingdom as long as we stick to each other. As long as we don't let the ennemy disunite us with distractions or quarrels.
The sermon was about the 6 disciplines that each disciple should have (discipline of self-control, steadfastness, the body, being an example, being transparent, and having a heart for people). So though the sermon didn't have much to do with what I got out of it. I was very glad I was able to be reminded of this important truth.

I read in Romans 14 and it was a perfect chapter to get me started on my thinking about the Church as a body and how it shouldn't matter that we don't all agree on the same thing, because in the end we should just accept each other's differences and let God take care of who's right and who's wrong or what's right and what's wrong.
How dare we think we are wise enough to make that judgement and discernment?
The pastor invited the congregation to pray for their specific church and the leaders in it.
But my prayer was for our Church. The body of Christ. This BODY, which Christ rules by being each of us' Lord.
I prayed that as a body we would cling tight to what we know and to each other as well. That as long as we are present within each other we may feel confident and comfort each other, encourage each other, push each other, and that all the members of this body may join hand in hand to be better prepared to fight satan who wants nothing more than to destroy us, by disuniting us through discouragement, and lack of focus.

The pastor started the whole sermon by talking about Martial arts. Frankly I don't know where he was going with this because that's when I went off in my own little world.
But, that same morning, as I was drinking my coffee, and praying, and reading the Word, a man came up to me and asked me what I was reading. I responded I was reading Jeremiah 14 and I explained a bit about what I was getting out of it. He proceeded to tell me he was a martial arts instructor who bases a lot of what he teaches to his kids on the scripture.
I think the pastor was using martial arts as a description of how intense it is and how as christians we should view our disciplines like martial arts.
I don't know if there is a correlation to me meeting a martial arts instructor right before going to church and hearing about martial arts within the sermon, but I still thought it was quite interesting.

All of this to say, in the end, I got a vision of the Christian body (all of us) and we were all in the shape of a cross and we did martial arts. haha. it sounds ridiculous when i type it out. But this vision was really powerful because we were all so close to each other, that nothing could break us. We fought a good fight and when one of us fell, the other picked us up. When one of us was getting attacked, the other one busted out some martial arts holy bible move.

Maybe I've been watching to much tv. (Chuck...a great show). But anyways, that was my sunday.

Saturday was extremely relaxing. I think I may have already talked a bit about it on yesterday's entry.

Today, I woke up to a dead Ipod. :( Very very sad day for me.

I'm allowed to drive again, so after literally throwing most of my belongings out the window because I am to lazy to go downstairs carrying it all. We got in the van and I took the first driving shift. It felt long because I didn't have my music. But it wasn't bad.

We stopped at a radio shack (well at a couple) to buy a new microphone. We ate taco bell. Oh AND I bought this very sweet deal at Wal-mart that has a coffee machine, a pluggable fryer, and an iron for $8!!!! woah!!! what a deal. Fried eggs and pancakes, here i come!!! I've been on a roll with deals. On saturday, I bought the cutest jeans for $10!!!!!!

Ok so that was my excitement for the day. The set I bought is pink to :)

Um. Yea. So this week we have shows all week aside from today since we had a longer drive. I should be getting a package from a good friend, Jessie on friday.
Next friday, I'll be getting a package from bff Megan in the mail!!!!!!!

In 2 weeks, we'll be in Texas so I'm looking forward to the warm weather :)

And after that hopefully things will be set for me to be able to spend thanksgiving in Indiana/Illinois with Megan!!!! OMG!!! SO EXCITED.

Please please pray that this works out. Not only do I need this time very much, but most importantly, my parents will be coming to Wisconsin that same week for conferences. It so happens not only is this the same week that I will actually have some time off, but they will be flying in and out of Chicago. If it all works out, I could POSSIBLY see my parents, even just for an hour.
I haven't seen them in about a year and miss them terribly as you can imagine. My heart breaks just thinking about it.
So pleaaase pray that it works out.

The problem is that we have a tentative schedule for the week before and after thanksgiving, but until we know it's a solid/for sure/non changeable schedule, me can't really make any plans according to it.
But if it all works out. It sounds like our last show the week prior to thanksgiving would be on a tuesday, meaning we could fly out either tuesday night or wednesday morning. We'd have to fly back in on monday. Which I was hoping I could fly out of Chicago and see my parents before heading back on tour monday night because we'd have a show that following tuesday.
HOW AMAZING WOULD THAT BE.

THe only issue with not knowing whether this'll work out was us needing to make sure we could find a safe place to leave our van at. It sounds like we'll be in Texas, not to far from Dallas, in which I have a couple of friends who wouldn't mind "watching" our van for a couple days. Crazy!

I really hope it works out, in case you couldn't tell. So please keep me in your prayers in those regards.

Ok. So there ya have it. I have quite a couple of things to look forward to for the next couple of weeks, so praise God for that. It's what keeps me going on this long and lonely journey. haha

Blessings to you dear reader.

Love,

Do

God's crazy love for us!

2010-10-24T11:21:00.000-07:00

October 23rd

Ok, I've been meaning to type this up for about 3 weeks if not more. It was a day when I was reminded of God's amazing and crazy love for us and I've been wanting to share it for a while, but got so distracted with things happening that I put it on the back burner.
Sorry for depriving you of this wonderful reminder. haha. Here I go....

So, one thing that I've learned on this journey is that finding some consistencies through this crazy inconsistent job (journey) keeps us, traveling media technicians somewhat sane.
For example, always picking the bed on the right side of the room, or picking the right side of a bed when we share one, or always grabbing my laptop, pillow, perse and keys once we get to a motel and grabbing our keys after paying and going straight to the room, and then going back down empty handed in order to grab my duffle bag, some food, and my toiletries. Or as soon as I get to a new motel, I scope the surroundings to find a private spot outside in which I can sit, read, listen to music or talk on the phone. Or lighting incense in rooms so I can have a familiar smell to make myself feel more "at home." Or always sleeping in the car while Tiff is driving (hehe). Or find consistent hobbies on the road such as photography, phone conversations, specific shows that I follow, facebook, or certain books (a lot of Max Lucado) to keep me going. (you must be laughing, cus these aren't really hobbies).
Well, you get my point. I've never been the type of person to have routines in my life, or do things a certain way, but in this case, I feel the need to create such consistencies in order to feel somewhat sane through this inconsistent journey.

Well, I was thinking about this, and realized that one thing that is and will always be consistent is God's Crazy Love for us!!! Some of you might have read the book "Crazy Love" which I once owned but never read, and now regret not doing so.
But the church we went to when we were in Nixa, MO on October 3rd called "the Bridge" was doing a series on teaching based on this book.
This message just reminded me of the relationship we are in. One in which our Creator and Father is just flat out CRAZY about us. It's phenomenal, fantastic, beyond our comprehension and so overwhelmingly good!
We read out of Eph 2. It reminds us of where we came from and where we are today only by HIS grace and HIS crazy awesome love for us.

To get an accurate view of who God is, we can simply start by lookin at who WE are first. Since we were created in His very image. (verse 3).
Let's look at where we came from and how far we've come since then. We used to be objects of wrath. It's actually hard to see myself this way because as long as I can remember, I've known Christ. I've never seen myself before Christ, since I accepted Him at a very young age. But I have seen myself as a Christian Atheist (a Christian who procclaims to know the word but fails to follow it fully. One who has received Christ as their Savior but not as their LORD. There is a big difference.) plenty of times. In fact I still struggle with being that person a lot of times.

Sometimes I feel like it's easier when you are a newborn Christian at a late age, because it helps light that fire and passion. Because if you've lived most of your life without Christ and don't know anything about His amazing love, and suddenly discover it after living a good amount of your life without Him, it's like the lightbulb effect pops in your mind and you suddenly deny your old self to fully commit your life to Him and truly view Him not just as your Savior, the one who died on the cross for you and forgave you for all of your sins, but you also see Him and accept Him as your Lord. One who will take complete control over every aspect of your life and to whom you fully surrender your everything/being to.
When you accept Christ at a young age, a lot of times you are sheltered from a lot and curious about "the world" and take the amazing gift of grace and salvation for granted out of curiosity and comfort in knowing you are saved.
That's just how I see it.

So anyways, back on track, even though I don't remember my life without Christ, it doesn't matter because we are reminded that by nature, we deserve death and the wrath of God ever since the fall.
The climax of story here is the part where we find GRACE (verse 4). Thanks to his crazy love for us!
In verses 8 and 9, it says that it is by grace that we have been saved and not by works, so that no one can boast about it.
I've been reading the book "The Christian Atheist," by Craig Goeshel who gives his testimony about how his parents taught him to go to church but he never understood Christianity because he never got anything out of the few sermons he'd ever heard. It wasn't until he went to college and did the whole partying and playing around and got in trouble for it, that he decided to dig in the Bible to find out more about and the verse that changed his life, was this one. Ephesians 2:8, because he realized that he wasn't a failure in God's eyes just because he did the things he did, in fact he realized God loved him and the things he did didn't matter, it was his heart that God was after. not his actions! This verse turned everything around for him.
Our faith is a gift from God. That really struck me. I never thought about faight as a gift. Maybe I'm just slow. Or maybe once again, it's something I took for granted since I've had it for as long as I can remember. But God GAVE us the ability to have faith. No wonder so many people don't understand our crazy belief about there being a God who gave His son to die for us. It sounds ludacris. But we've all been given this gift of faith, to believe in the unseen, but a lot of us don't accept it, and therefore don't believe, and therefore lack faith and hope and are miserable. God is the author of my faith. He gave me the priviledge and beauty of Faith, hope, and belief which allows me to see His beauty in everything, to believe it and love it. Love it and learn from it.
God doesn't need, yet he wants us. How special is that. Why would God want to use someone like me to do His work? kinda crazy to think about.

As humans, we forget that love is completely unconditional. He doesn't need us. Who dares believe that God needs them. He wants and chooses us. He finds us and accepts us as we are.
A lot of times love comes with conditions or conveniences for us. I'll love you if you do this for me. Or because you are so amazing, I love you. or I'm dating this guy because he has or does this or that. Well is that why you love people, or do these attributes help you love them?
This kind of love has nothing to do with the crazy love God has for us. NOthing!
In one of my recent posts, I talked about love and how hard it is for me to love every body equally. It's a sin when I love one person more than I love another.
Mark 12:30-31

And you must love the Lord your God with all of your heart, all your soul, and all your mind, and all your strength. The second (command) is equally important: "Love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these."
That's the way God loves each of us. The least we can do is love Him that way back, and love each other as well.
I keep being reminded of how important love is. I am a people lover, that's for sure, yet so often I find myself judging, criticizing, and lacking the ability to show love for some.
God has a crazy love for each of us, can we attempt to love Him back equally?
In that attempt, we can learn to love others equally as well. It's not for nothing that we find these two great commandments in various different books of the Bible. And it's not for nothing that these commandmants are called the greatest. From these two commandments, we can accomplish any other. I believe that.

SOOO there it is. I had to share it with ya.

I was actually talking about how much I love being able to go different churches each sunday. The beauty of it is getting spiritual wealth from completely different buffet tables. Yes it's nice to go to the same Church week after week, following a certain book of the Bible, or book period, but this way I get variety out of it I'm never bored. Always trying to focus and understand what's going on.
It's like being in a cafeteria and having different buffet tables with all sorts of variety foods and I get to pick and choose. Do I want chinese? Pasta? rice? pizza? haha I love it!!

Today is October 24th and the Church we went to was literally right next to our motel. We walked in and everybody was SO very nice.
Uh Oh. I'm sitting at a Mcdonald's that's a 20 min walk away from my motel and I see lightning outside. I wouldn't want the rain to catch me. So I will upload this post and continue all of this later on.

PEACE. pray I don't get soaked (I just got my hair done. haha)

DJO

My Birthday!

2010-10-21T11:24:00.000-07:00

October 21rsrt

Day of Birth.

I am 23.

Sooo I meant to blog on my birthday to share its amazingness....but I didn't.

SO on my birthday, we had a really early show, but it was just one presentation so we were back "home" by 10:40 :) I love it when that happens.

I lost my keys at the school, which was no bueno. And some kids told us they only watch the video because it gets them out of class but they never really are that into the videos each year. So that was super encouraging. not.

But. the night before my birthday I prayed that no matter how the day went, God would help me remember that I am truly blessed to be alive and to just be thankful for all He had taught me from the previous year and how far I've come since October 21rst 2009.

So, I was just grateful to be alive when all of these things happened.

After the show, my coworker Tiffany busted out a small cake and 23 candles that she'd done a lovely job at hiding and we ate together. HOW SWEET!!!

ALso, the night before, I'd gotten to skype with my brother (whom I hadn't spoken to in mooonths. He is in Argentina) and I got to see my lovely nephew and niece and beautiful sister in law. Also got to skype with a really good friend of mine in France who was the first to officially wish me happy birthday since my birthday started 8 hours earlier over there.
Special!!!

One of my all time best friends sent me money and told me to go to diner on her. And I got a ton of sweet messages on my wall. A TON! which I'm sure most of you reading right now were a part of the amazing people that wrote on my wall.
And I got a couple phone calls.
I went to diner by myself and the waiter and I talked for a while. I think he felt bad for me at first.

AND my coworker proceeded to take me out to my all time favorite restaurant in Illinois. We drove a good 45 min for it. It was so worth it. I love SMOKY BONES' fire sticks, and wings. We did this after an amazing day in St. Louis, checking out the Arch.

SO very excited about my Smokey Bones!

AND the weather was perfect.

GOD is soooo amazing.

I must admit, I felt quite special even though alllll of my friends and family were far away from me.
I must also admit I got very sad towards the end of the day. I was hoping it wouldn't get to me, that I had to spend my birthday away from so many loved ones, but it did....what can I say I am only human.

But once again. God was amazing and I got to talk to pretty much all the people that really matter in my life whether through the phone or facebook and it was a blessed day.

SO VOILA. My birthday. thanks to each and everyone of you. was excellent. so thank YOU. yes YOU.

MUAH

DORINA

New motel friends in Alamose, CO

2010-10-15T11:13:00.000-07:00

Tiff and I had a show in Alamosa Colorado on Monday. It was an afternoon show so we got to get some solid rest between Sunday night and Monday.
As usual, I Wake up for breakfast at motels and either decide to go back to sleep once getting food or read a bit while drinking my coffee and lounging before getting ready for the day.

Monday morning, I woke up and got breakfast (bagels and coffee) and called my mother since I had about an 1h 30 till I had to get ready for our afternoon show (for which we had to leave at 11).

While getting my coffee, I notice a blonde lady in her upper 30s and an older lady sitting down. I noticed the older lady cus it seemed like she knew everyone in there. She was all cute and matching outfit and just hugging people left and right. She then commented on my outfit and said I looked adorable. Haha. I laughed because the previous day, Lauren told me Id looked like I was a homeless person wearing that. (I went straight to bed in my clothes the night before since we arrived late at the motel and I was to tired to change.)

Tiffany then comes out and they start talking to her. Since I was on the phone with my mom, I didn't really pay to much attention but I could tell that at some points they were talking about me,(about how cute I looked, and asking why I was speaking in French, etc)
Once mom and I's conversation was over, I went straight to the room to get ready for our présentation, which was less than a mile away. Finally having the time to take a shower, doing my haïr, putting some normal clothes on, and not looking so homeless anymore.
On our way to the van, the ladies, still in the lobby, wish us luck, and the older one gives us hugs and tells me I look like a whole new person. Haha.
After the show, I ran into the blonde later and after talking with her for about 40 minutes about life, I find out her name is Melissa, and she has just moved to Alamosa in order to be with her boyfriend who worked at the motel, and in which she lived until she could get her own place.
I then proceed to run into the older lady, who has a huge smile on her face and asks me how the show went, and hugs me, and tells me she loves me. She was so sweet, I then found out her name was Darlene.

The following morning, Darlene, and Melissa are sitting at the breakfast table with another lady (Rhonda). As soon as they saw me they go "There she iiiissss" and pull out a chair as they invite me to eat breakfast with them. We talked for two hours ! It was gréât. They complimented one of my many necklaces (the Africa one) and I told them I designed it. I explained a little bit about Senegal and showed where it was on my necklace/the continent of Africa, and then I told them the cross on my necklace represented my love for Christ. They all go "awwwe, she's a sister in Christ !" and we laughed. One by one the ladies left until it was just Darlene and I. We got to know each other, and after a while I was able to see some of Darlene's pictures as she took the time to look at my pictures from home, and from my trip so far. After this happened she turns over to Melissa (who had come back) and says "It is not everyday that we are blessed with friends who are willing to show us pictures . "
Awe ! So cute !!
While Darlene, Melissa, and I were sitting down, I hear them say " Oh here comes Smiley." They were both talking about a worker at the motel who is usally always smiling.
However as he walked in that morning, his smile wasn't the usual "light up a room" smile, it was more of a forced, fatigued smile. So Melissa (who knows him well) said "uh oh....Smiley, what's wrong??"
He tells us that he just got back from the doctor's after puking blood again that morning. We all gasped and asked him for more details. So he sat down and explained that they kept sending him to different specialists because no one knew what was wrong after time and time tests were returned showing he was healthy.
Suddenly, Darlene grabs everyone's hands and we join in hands and she says, we need to pray. So we said a quick prayer for Tiger (his real nickname) and I asked for his real name and told him I'd keep praying for him as well. That God may lead him to the right doctor who will have the wisdom to figure out the problem and be able to help the healing process to begin.

The rest of the day consisted of me lounging, watching movies and shows, talking on the phone, running into the ladies and having quick chats with them, and skyping.
This morning, as soon as I woke up, I headed straight to the lobby to get some coffee and spend some Jesus time outside in private. As soon as I entered, my lady friends were all seated at the same ol' table and greeted me cheerfully. Rhonda stood up and hugged me while saying, "How you doing Mamasita? Bless your heart!" What a blessing to receive love first thing in the morning!!
So I greeted them back, hugged them, and after they asked me where I was headed to since I was carrying my purse, I responded "Ladies, I love you all, but I love my Lord way more and need to spend some time with him for a bit, and then I'll come back and eat breakfast with yall." Darlene and Rhonda responded "You go giiiirl!"

So, the Lord led me to read James (probably still inspired by sunday's sermon.) I read the first two chapters and was really touched by the reminder of God's desire for us to love each other equally. I realized that that is something I have a problem with. In fact, James asks us how can claim to have faith if we favor some people over others (James 2:1) and he follows on by telling us that if we do that we are sinning. (James 2:9). This really hit me hard. It's kind of hard thing to think about. I mean think about how much you love your husband/wife/brother/parent/best friend. Now compare that love to your neighbor/servant/co-worker/the post man/ the rude lady at the bank...well you get where I am going with this. It's not really the same kind of love is it? And if it is, then more power to you! Good job! I am willing to admit it isn't in my case. So I stopped reading and asked God to help me to love like He does. Simple as that. I know I can't do it on my own, so I asked God to help me love specific people in my life that I knew I had a hard time loving as much as I love others, and after that I ready in "A Gentle Thunder" by Max Lucado (go figure) and the chapter I read was quite fitting. :) the Title of it was "For Longer Than Forever, the God Who Loves Boldly." I read two full pages of solid encouragement and description of God's love for us.
Oh hey God, thanks for so kindly answering my prayer by firstly allowing me to see how you love.
The chapter talked about God's unconditional and unshakable love for us. Max talked about how we don't deserve it by describing every day thoughts or emotions we go through as humans. For example, "God fills the world with food, yet we blame him for hunger. He gives us blue skies, and we demand rain. He gives us rain, and we demand sun. We are a gnat on the tail of one elephant in a galaxy of Africa, yet we demand that He finds us the parking place that we ask."
Then he goes on comparing God's love towards us with the love that a mother has for her child. How the child causes her back to ache for months, causes her to snack and deform her body, to then throw up, to then be filled with scorching pain and then forces the mother to wake up every night for the following 6 weeks of her life. But does the mother love her child any less because of all it has put her through? Not it doesn't. WHy is that? Not just because the child is hers, but because the child is HER. "Her blood. her flesh. her sinew and spine. her hope. her legacy."
Max reminds us through this description that God loves us because we are a part of HIM. He created us according to His image, and in this sense we are all equal and not only will he love us all no matter what, he also expects and hopes that we can love each other equally as well.
What a great God I serve!
After reading all of this, I couldn't wait to go back to the lobby and share this with my new friends. I ran in excitedly, and said "I have to share this!" They said "alright, go for it!" and cleared the table so I could set my coffee, Bible, and book down.
I shared it all and they were extremely attentive. I read the whole two pages of the book after explaining my prayer and what I had read in James. It was amazing to be able to read this illustration to 3 ladies who had been mothers, and knew exactly what Max Lucado was talking about. I hope it encouged them!
It was real funny because there were some hispanic men sitting behind us, and though they didn't understand or speak much english, Darlene noticed that as I was pourring my heart out to the ladies, one of the hispanic men began to speak to one of his friends, who grabbed his hand, pointed towards our table, and used his finger to shush him. Though he didn't understand what I was saying, he figured it was of great importance from the look on each of the ladie's faces.
Darlene was leaving an hour after this, so the next hour was spent with the ladies talking about Christian authors, and verses, and different experiences from God.
Darlene wrote me a song called "Will we be together in Heaven?" She didn't write it herself, but she did write it down for me.

I took pictures with these precious ladies, and after we all exchanged emails, numbers, and facebook information. Darlene hugged us goodbye, I said farewell, and we each went out ways!

Darlene before she left

Isn't she lovely?

Whew. Just when I thought my week was going to be boring and sad because I would be missing all of my friends from the previous weekend, God busts out with some phenomenal people who blessed me just by talking with them and getting to know them.
What a mighty God I serve. This reminds me about the day I blogged about how God cares about the small details. While people are hurting financially, or losing families, or going through famine, my compassionate Father in Heaven (who definitely cares about those people for sure) also cares about my tiny tiny little fear of loneliness that I thought would overwhelm me after such a great weekend in Denver.
I'm on fire right now. Just can't believe His faithfulness, and want to share more more more. He keeps doing so much in my life!
Also, I forget to share in my last entry that at Ted Haggard's Church of Saint James, each visitor was given a copy of Ted's wife's book called "Why I stayed." The book is a testimony of how they met, how they came into the mission field, how the New Life Church grew, how all the rumors went down, and how instead of succumbing to the situation, she clung to the Lord with the little strength she had and rose above it.

I began reading it last night and today on our way to Nebraska in the car. What a crazy awesome testimony. It's also crazy that I was in the presence of these people a couple of days ago. Now I am reading almost every detail of their life. What an encouragement. I highly recommend this book to women who are struggling with life, marriage, and everything that accompanies it. It really makes you think of the power you have to make decisions as a woman and how it can affect your entire life, your children, your husband, your friends, your Church family, and even strangers.

Welp. I could keep typing for hours, but time to hit the sack. Show tomorrow. Pray that Tiffany can handle all the driving. We have a afternoon show, We probably won't get out till 4pm, and we head straight back to Colorado, which'll take a good 7 hours. Our show on friday will be pretty early in the morning. So the next two days will be quite intense.
This weekend however, Tiff gets to rest, and I get to be with friends. AGAIN. JOY.
The following week will be my birthday. Perfect way to start out my birthday week, with friends and loved ones.
BLESSINGS. Have a great morning/night/day/afternoon/evening.
DJO

Good news/Bad news kinda day

2010-10-14T21:00:00.000-07:00

Today was a good news/bad news kinda day :)

We spent the night in Gering, Nebraska last night so we could be close to our school, which ended up being only 2 miles away. So I guess the first good news of the day were that we could sleep in since we had an afternoon show. The bad news is I still ended up waking up early due to a back ache.
We were in a pretty shady motel, and my back's gone through a lot of different beds but this one just didn't do it. I slept horribly. So I woke up early, and decided to walk around town looking for a place to buy coffee. After 40 min of walking (in a very small town), I found a Mcdonalds and got a $1 cup of coffee and by the time I got back to my motel, it was time to get ready for our show.

Bad news...our gps refused to work. Good news, the town was so small that we found the school on our own. We get to the school and meet lovely Julie, our contact person, who announces that we will only be having one presentation instead of two that day. That was great news for two reasons. Tiffany and I had just been talking about how hungry we were and wondering how we were going to make it 5 hours without eating much. The second reason we were ecstatic to hear this (though we kept the joy on the inside) was because Tiffany had a lot of driving to do right after the show in order for us to make it back to Colorado.
Ok. the bad news with this was the setup we were going to have. I'll be posting pictures soon, because I won't be able to really describe it. But it was by far the hardest set up we've had so far. Julie opens the door to where we will be setting up, and as she turns the lights on, we are faced with a mini ampitheatre type of room with a tiny stage, and tons and tons of steps. In fact, the seats were the steps and we pretty much knew we'd have to carry all of our equipent down these seats/stairs.
So as soon as we are alone I say "well good news bad news! Time to get our muscles out!!" and Tiffany responds "I'm glad we are laughing about this."

Thankfully, as soon as we brought all of our equipment in, we had great middle schoolers help us. We had Rachel, the tiny little blonde who had alll the will in the world to help but sometimes couldn't due to her petiteness. She was very creative though! We had Dakota, the bigger stronger girl who had a very dry sense of humor but was always willing to helps as well. They were a good team. We had James and Alex. Two typical middle school boys will do enough explaining. haha.
So with their help and a LOT of creativity and stuggling, we were able to manage. Oh and I forgot to mention that the stage orignially had a piano, a chair, a stool, flags, sound boxes and speakers on them. So we had to move all of that out of the way in order to even begin. The place (between that stuff, and all of our equipment scattered due to lack of space) was quite a mess. I wasn't able to take pictures of the mess, but I did take pictures of our creativitiy. Also, instead of giving us a 6ft ladder, which is usually easier to carry around, they gave us a ladder the size of our screens. It was huuuuge. haha. Moving it around was SUCH a challenge!

Kids getting settled

But guess what!? We got done with 40 min to spare despite all of this.
At two different points, while we were waiting for students to come in, two cops came in asking if we had seen a certain boy with scissors and there were kids running around the hallways. It was definitely interesting!

So, the show went well. The kids that helped us set up also helped us tear down and they seemed to really love us and enjoyed working with us.
The two girls kept being amazed at the fact that we did this job, between us not having a home base, and us having to live/work with one same person. Dakota kept telling me "You girls must be the bestest of friends for being able to do this all the time." and Rachel would say "I can't imagine doing your job with someone you absolutely can't stand." And I responded "well it gets challenging at times, but it's a really good learning experince. You learn how communicate better with others, and it also teaches you how to compromise a lot, but thankfull both Tiffany and I are pretty laid back people so we've gotten along just fine so far!"

Proud of Tiff and myself for making it!

So that was our morning. I guess I don't have much to say about the rest of the day since it was pretty much spent in the car. I forced myself not to fall asleep in the car knowing that it would result in a late night, which would be bad news for me tomorrow morning since we have to wake up around 5:30! I succeeded but boy oh boy was it a challenge!! I spent pretty much the whole time reading my journal from sophomore year in college. I found myself laughing, and tearing up at different times. I would laugh at the stupid things my friends and I would do. I teared reading about some of the heartaches I went throguh (people just being flat out rude).I thought hard about what a challenging year it was. I'm amazed at how I was able to find time to journal since it was my busiest year of college. Multiple jobs, jam packed class schedule, and soccer practice everyday. But I really grew spiritually. I wish I could share with you some of the amazing things God had revealed to me that year!

So after going through quite some emotions while traveling in the past, we arrived in Castle Rock, which is 15 minutes away from our show tomorrow. Arriving here was bittersweet. It was sweet becaue we were welcomed by glorious scenery while the sun was bidding farewell to the world behind the mountains. But it was bitter because we drove through towns and streets, and places that I knew from living there just 2 months ago. It's also hard to know that I am only 15 minutes away from my best friend and a ton of other friends.
It's all good though because I will be seeing them again this weekend :D

That's another thing. I am super excited to be with my friends again, but for some of you who know me well, this doesn't come as a surpise when I say that I hate decision making!!! I get overwlemened when I have to many options, then I freak out and then I just give up. haha In fact, when I was still living in Senegal and my family and I would go out to diner, I always had my dad order my meal. I trusted him with that and it avoided me to go through all the decision making process. :)

SO all of this to say that I have no idea where to stay or who to be with or who to see when this weekend. Both Lauren and Lysiane have a pretty similar schedule and they each live an hour away from each other.I can't decide where to go first and where to end. haha. So if you read this tonight, please pray for my decision making. Not that it's a big deal since I'll have fun either way, but I just stress myself out and want other people to make decisions for me. :/

Well, anyway, my plan of not sleeping in the car worked. I'm pooooped! Had the workout of my life today, and was in the car for longer than I needed. I just finished a bowl of cereal and am pleased to say that I will now pass out! (It's barely 9....so sad!) But I need some rest before the weekend owns me!

Love you dearly,

DJO

Refreshing weekend spent with friends

2010-10-10T10:53:00.000-07:00

October 10th

My heart is so full full of joy. I dont know where to begin, and what words to use to express this Heavenly joy, but I will attempt to do so.

First off, my weekend was absolutely phénoménal, as some of you may have read it on facebook. There aren't to many détails to go into other than the fact that I was ooverflowing with joy, laughter and happiness at the realization that I was finally, for the first time in months, with people who cared for me, knew me, accepted me, understood me, and loved me. I was myself. The Dorina most of you know, for the first time in so long. Oh what a feeling ! I even told Tiffany, my coworker "wow you have never seen this side of me huh !? "

So Friday afternoon we arrived at Lysiane (my all time bff)'s place in Denver and after she attacked me with screams and excitement and I jumped on her, we decided to head straight to the mall. My good collège friend Lauren who lives in Colorado Springs met up with us at Park Meadows Mall (a mall which I used to go to a ton due to the fact that there was a train near my old house that led straight to it. This mall is one of the many reasons, I call myself broke till this day.) I didnt shop much however. I just got a sweater, which I needed lol.

After doing a lot of window shopping, Lauren, Lylie, and myself sat at the food court area eating and talking and at one point I wasnt even listening to either of them, I just had this huge grin on my face, and interrupted the conversation saying " Can I just tell you girls how happy I am right now ?? " They both laughed and Lylie replied " You didn't have to tell me, I saw that huge smile on your face and knew exactly what you were thinking ! "
So after a relaxing evening, the girls and I got ready to have a girls night out :) It was a lot of fun especially since I was able to see some of Lysiane's boyfriend's friends,towards the end of the night who'd become quite dear to my heart when I lived there!
This whole time, Tiffany had been relaxing at Lylie's apt due to fatigue from all the driving she'd done. (I'm still not allowed to drive until I am told I can by my bosses).

Saturday was a busy day. I wanted to see a ton of people, but we also had to head to Coloroado Springs sometime during the evening in order to meet up with Lauren who had gone back there in order to work.
God is so good and Tiffany was very patient with me that day. She was able to join the girls and I to see Lylies stepmom and fathers, which was quite the blessing. I've considered this family mine for quite some time now. During collège, since I could never really go home for Christmas, I would always go to Denver and spend Christmas with the Ayites. Plus I've known Papa Alex (Lylies dad) since I was 11, and him and my father are so similar that I cannot help but see him as a father figure in my life. Patricia (Lylies stepmom) has been such a huge blessing, helping me surprise Lysiane as a Christmas gift one year, and always always welcoming me into her home with shelter and food year after year, also being an encouragement through my transitioning from Indiana to Colorado and my job as a nanny for two girls whom she taught at her preschool.
All of this to say, spending about 3 hours of our day there felt like home. We talked, had snacks, coffee and tea, I played twister with Lauren and Iyanla (lysianes little sister) while Tiff and Cinzia talked (Lysianes older sister).

Fun times at the Ayites

Brie and Josh :)

I was then able to meet up with a good friend of mine and her boyfriend for some coffee.(I had a lot of coffee that day!) I'd met Brie and Josh about a month before my leaving Colorodo through their brother, and they were just what I needed at the time because I was going through some rough times with the transition of leaving Colorado and also thirsting for some fellowship time and finding a Church family. Though it was only for a month, it was exactly what I needed at the time to get on the route I'm on with my spiritual growth.

So after spending a solid hour catching up with them both, I met one of my buddies for diner. We had a gréât time, laughed a lot and ate Pad Thai.

Will and I eating Pad Thai

Finally after being able to see the people I wanted to see in Denver, Tiffany and I met up and headed to the Springs for another night of funness with Lysiane and Lauren !

Waking up Sunday morning was rough. I hadnt been so active in so long. My body said no, but my mind said "let's go !" haha. So we got ready and went to Laurens Church called St James.
Lauren had warned us about this Church. She said "You guys are more than welcome to come to Church with me, but I just need to warn you, its quite different, it's Ted Haggards' new Church !"
Ok...confession...I didn't even know who Ted Haggard was. I feel stupid about that now, but I guess that's what happens when you barely ever Watch tv or listen to the radio :/
So, after telling me a little bit about what had happened. And in case you are like me and have never heard of Ted Haggard, heres a quick recap. He was an extremely famous pastor in Colorado and all over the world for that matter, who started a Church in Colorado of 14,000 followers. His Church (now called New Life Church) started out in him and his wife Gayles bassement, and ended up being huge and famous known for its genuineness and desire to grow as a body of Christ and love God and others. Well one day, Ted got accused of having an affair with and buying drugs from a male escort. He got fired from his position and ended up having to go through a whole entire procès and wait a couple of years before being able to get back in front of a pulprit to preach the gospel.
Needless to say, his name today probably brings up a lot of contradiction. Since I didnt know any of this, I had no problem going. Even after being filled in on who he was, I still had no problem going, in fact I was kind of excited. It sounded like the service was quite different and there was no way to really explain it, so I was excited to experiment this « différence » for myself !
My oh My ! It sure was different ! Well for starters, it doenst have a set place, so we were in a middle school cafèteria(which reminded me of when my Church in Huntington Indiana had no place and we would bounce from building to building till we got our amazing 509 place !). Secondly, for a pastor who had started a Church with 14, 000 followers, this new one was quite small. It was of about 150 people. Ted was not much different than the way Id imagined him to be. Very energetic, full of life, throwing jokes out left and right, and extremely engaging.
In order to tithe, everyone got up and during the meet and greet part of most Sunday « rituals, » in this case, we are encouraged to give someone we feel led to some money. It could be $2, or $100. No one is forced to, but its definitely an option. It was interesting to Watch because normal, when we meet and greet, every body stays in their seats and turns around or looks at the person to the left right or in front to say a quick hello. At Saint James however, most everybody got up and walked around to the other side to really meet and greet. We were welcomed quite warmly.
Then, the offering part of the service consisted of whoever felt led to putting money in a bucket can put money in the bucket.as usual. What happens with this money however took me by surprise. Apparently, every Sunday a name gets drawn out of a basket filled with everybody in the congregations names. Whoevers name gets drawn, gets to take 50 % of the money (the other 50% is kept by the Church) and think/pray about who they want to give the money to.
For example, this past Sunday, at the very end of service, a 15 year old stoop up in front of the congrégation because her name had been drawn and she had to announce who she knew that could use this money more than anybody. She decided to give it to her grandfather, who had problems with his knees. Since this was a lot of money that wed gathered that Sunday, Ted suggested that he knew of two other people sitting with us that morning that could really use part of the money as well. The girl agreed to split it, and Ted called up one of thèse people whom he was talking about earlier. A lady in her 40s came up. I dont know how long shed been crying, but her tears affected everyone in the building (they affected me at least thats for sure). She barely could tell us her story while sobbing. Many hearts went out to her as she explained how she hasnt been able to be with her husband in 5 years due to his job being so far away and them needing the money because both of their kids have serious health problems. Her son deals with dépression and has attempted to commit suicide, on top of physical health issues. Her daughter had crohns disease and because the parents couldnt afford taking care of all of the health issues their kids have, the mother shared her pain with us as she handed her children over to another family who would be able to afford helping them out better.
What a story~ This family received $2000 that morning. Another man had been called by Ted earlier to share his story. An old Asian man shared how one day he lost everything he had (job, family, house, hope,) and out of desperation went to Teds Church. Apparently at the end of the sermon, this man stayed seated and sobbed all of his pain and sorrow out. Ted didnt even know him, but helf him. Though he had no money to offer him, Ted was able to offer him something more important, hope, and a desire to live again. This man is now a regular at St. James. He is still living out of his car, but finds hope in life again.

There were other touching testimonies and stories shared. The service was very interactive. As Ted would preach, people would raise their hands and ask questions, or Ted would ask the congregation questions, and people would answer. Even Ted's wife got up at a one point to tell a story that Ted had attempted to tell but butchered instead.

So yes, Lauren telling me that the service would be different was quite an understatement ! We laughed, we cried, we shared, we asked, we learned, we gave, we took, we prayed, we sang, we did it all. It was so real, so génuine. The sermon was pretty good to. We read out of James, which is book i LOVE. I need to spend more time in it. Its so short but so rich and full !
After Church, I was able to meet with a father and daughter (Sam and Emily Voorhies) that I'd met through another family that is extremely close to mine (the Shanis). The Voorhies used to missionaries in many countries and thats how they met the Shanis. I had only met the Voorhies once and we instantly bonded. Actually Uncle Sam and I got along real well because he found utter joy and pleasure in teasing me, and well for me, it just made me stronger and tougher so we have a mutual bond through that haha. I met their daughter Jessica later on when her parents decided we would get along gréât and that we should meet. They were right, we immediately clicked on our coffee (well it ended up being subway for me) date. We talked for hours and exchanged numbers.

So this was my second time seeing them, and we had a gréât time. Lauren and Tiffany had joined and the 5 of us just had a good ol time chit chatting as if wed known each other for years.

To end my Sunday, Lauren took me to 2 goodwills, which we OWNED. Yup. We got so much stuff for NOTHING. Well barely anything at least. I got pretty well prepared for the winter thanks to goodwill. Lauren also went a lil crazy out there.
After some fellowship with Lauren and her parents, Tiff and I hit the road. Off to Alamosa, CO. A 3 hour trip on which I was knocked out for the most part. It felt grand.

YUP. FANTABULOUS WEEKEND!!!

(I'm in the process of blogging about the last 3 days here, so bare with me :))

His, DJO

Curtis the Redneck and other Blessings

2010-10-08T10:29:00.000-07:00

October 8th

Ok, So I have officially become terrible at blogging. I apologize to any of you who have come on my blog only to find out, nothing was new on it.

So much has happened and so much more is about to happen, but I will take it easy on you dont worry.
In fact, I think Im going to work backwards on this one. Ill describe a couple of the évents that this past week had in store for us, and then Ill share my Sunday devotional some other day, which I hope can encourage you.

So for starters, I am in our van, banned from driving, so Tiffany is driving and we are in the norhtern part of Kansas headed to DENVER, COLORADO !!! This is my weekend, and it kind of came out of nowhere. As Ive said before, being able to see Tiffany's friend all of thèse times has been good for both of us in different ways. She was able to spend quality time with people she knew and loves, while I was just going along with the flow and meeting her friends, who were all gréât.The rôles however this weekend are changing. Hopefully she'll have a good time getting to know a lot of my friends. As far Im concerned, I am beyond ecstatic. I had no idea I would seeing anyone until 2 nights ago when Tiffany brought to my attention that we were going to drive through Colorado Springs in order to get to our school in Alamosa, CO on Monday.

So yes, needless to say, I am super pumped. I will be staying with my all time best friend Lysiane tonight. We've been friends for about 14 years and we've gone through so much together and I just cannot wait to see her. Tomorrow, we will head to Colorado Springs in order to be one step closer to our school, and we will stay with my really good friend Lauren. We met in collège and clicked right away. We've been extremely close since my junior year in collège. On top of that, I will be able to see a lot of other friends between Denver and Colorado Springs. :) Its going to feel so good to finally be with friends and pretty much family that know me, my heart, who I am, where I'm from, what I've been doing and to just fully be myself for the first time in a long time ! I've been myself, but it does get hard to fully let loose when you are constantly meeting new faces and trying to get to know each other. So this is probably going to be the best weekend yet !!

So I want to share a little bit of my week with you. To be honest, I don't remember Monday. I know we had a show, and I know we drove that day to get closer to Grandview, KS in which we had a show on Wednesday. We drove to Overland Park, KS since it was only about 15 minutes away from Grandview. We stayed in a Super 8 motel from Monday evening to Thursday afternoon.

Little did we know how many stories would come out of us staying in a motel for just 3 nights~

Well, first of all, I got along real well with Sue, the desk lady, which came in handy on tuesday when on my way to buy a new clamp for our Wednesday show since our Monday show resulted in a broken clamp, (we usually use about 4 to hold up our 3 screens together) I had just woken up from a nap, and my brain usually takes quite a while to function « normally » (as normal as it can function hehe), so still being out of it, I (my all time best friend number 2 whom I havent spoken to in months due to her now living in Kenya, JUST called me and I cried because I was so happy to hear from her ! thank you GOD !) was backing out of my parking spot, and hit a truck. Yup. It happened. I felt so terribly bad when I checked it out and saw the huge dent that our van had left on the poor red truck. After contemplating driving away and not telling a soul out of fear and distress (it was my first time ever going through anything like that), I turned back around and went into the hôtel room to talk to Sue, the desk lady, and tell her what had happened. She was very sweet and reassuring. She kindly helped me find the owner of the truck, and once she finally got a hold of him, she told me I had nothing to be afraid of because he was a very nice/laid back man. My initial thought was, « well it doesnt matter how nice a person is, anyone who has to deal with someone messing with their vehicle, can quickly change from nicey nice to angry and scary. » She could tell I had a hard time believing that everything would be ok, but shed did her possible to keep reassuring and encouraging me. So the old cowboy lookin man comes wandering out of his room, and says « Alright, lets go see it . » Just like that. No frowing, no angry snares, no yelling, no veins sticking out, just an old man.
Right then, I started praising God, because right after it all happened, I had asked Him to just be with me and help me, and have Him just take care of the whole situation.

After calling the insurance, talking to my boss, trying to call Curtis (truck owner) insurance and more, we decided we would go to a repair shop the following day and get the estimate of the damage. This whole entire time, Curtis was being so incredibly nice, and on top of that hilarious. Not only did he keep repeating to me « Its not the end of the world, this happens all the time, dont beat yourself up about it, etc. » but he also made me laugh so hard that it also made me forget what we were dealing with. He called me dummy, and would introduce me to people as « crash » and since I deserved all that teasing and poking, I gladly took it and laughed at all of his jokes.

As a result of this little whoopsies, I have been banned from driving for a couple of weeks. I was telling Tiffany the other day « Wow, I just dont know how to handle this right now. I havent been punished in years !!! I dont even remember what punishment feels like, Im not so sure I like it at all. Haha » My bosses were a bit upset at first but they were both very understand and kind afterwards. One of them even told me he was proud of my integrity and honesty. So even though my lack of attention is costing them quite a bit, they dont hate me, arent going to fire me, and encourage me through it all. Thank God.
We ended up taking care of the estimate of the damage two days later. In the meantime, I ran into Curtis at the motel a couple of times, and we always stopped and talked for a bit before heading our different ways. He easily could've resented me for the accident I committed, but not only did he not ressent me, he took the time to get to know me, and care for me by comparing me to his « dummies » of kids that are my age and are just as dumb as me haha, and how he's used to that happening. This story has a gréât ending. It ends with Curtis taking Tiffany and I to Starbucks and buying each of us a drink and telling us crazy stories about himself. How he told the racist black guy from his job that God doesnt look at color, but at people's hearts, and finally shut him up once and for all. How he was able to get 3 autographed baseballs from a really famous baseball player once simply because he had been bold enough to walk right through the gate of the field during a game, and ask the player to sign them. How he made it in the group picture of the crew/producers of a famous horse and his horse rider who had just won a really hard race to win, simply because he was walking there at the right time, and the horse rider thought he was part of his crew and called him in the picture. Just so many crazy, hilarious, and even inspiring/motivational stories.
I cant be grateful enough towards God for the blessing that Curtis was in my life. I even told Curtis, that out of all of the cars in the parking lot, I was glad I had ran into his.

Oh and at one point, I said a dumb joke, and he looked at me straight faced and responds "You can't tell right now, but Im roaring of laughter on the Inside" hahahaha. How mean but hilarious is that !?
Check below to see pictures of the dent, and Curtis if interested.

Another good thing that came out of this « accident » was that throughout the happenings of the afternoon when I hit Curtis truck, I was able to meet a group of movers who had been staying at the motel while on their way to move another house. I'd told all three of them what had happened, and then we proceeded to talk and got to know each other. They were nice and I decided to hang out with them.
Though I wasn't able to minister to them on a conversational level, I hope I was still able to show the love of Christ because I did talk about my faith and my belief when the conversation came up. Yet at the same time, I didnt judge them nor condemn them for the way they acted or lived. I just appreciated their company while all the while having a blast with them, by just watching tv with them or hearing them complain about their job, or talk about each other's sleeping habits, and things like that.

At one point, they came to my room to meet Tiffany, and the next hour was spent with laughter and joy. Tiffany and I had one of the best laughs since we've been on the road. They were just funny ! I laughed so hard that at one point I cried, and at another point I fell off my bed. Tim, John, and Joey were just singing Taylor Swift, Justin Moore, and Kerry Underwood (very cheesy country music) to the top of their lungs. Once Tiff and I joined with the singing, there were 5 different keys, which Tiffanys was the only one that was Dead on. The rest of us were compeltely off key. It was so fun to just let loose and not care
Anywho, those were the amazing people we were able to meet in Overland Park in Kansas. What a blessing !!
Another incredible encounter we had that was completely from God was on Wednesday morning. We had an early show, and this was the day following my running into Curtis red truck. I was completely out of it, exhausted and to be completely honest dreading doing a show that morning. I had so much on my mind, that I wasnt focused.

Well this all changed when I realized what an amazing school we were at. Between the teachers, (Phil, the Young choir teacher who took time to help us set up while wearing his nice clothes and made coffee for me), the principal (a strong willed African American woman who was just full of energy and so gréât with the kids, and also very funny. She could NOT remember my name, and kept stressing about before introducing us to the kids.) and last but not least, the custodian, whom I will save a spécial paragraph for, because well, he was just very spécial !

At first, Mike was just another custodian, there to help us, which we are always extremely grateful for, until after the show, when he took the time to talk to us and get to know us. He no longer was just another custodian, we found out he was a Brother in Christ.

Mike asked me while I was tearing the frames down where I was from. I believe Ive shared this with you all before, how I usually dont respond « Senegal » to this question due to lack of desire to respond to all the questions that follow after. Or sometimes I just dont feel like people genuinly care where Im from, so I just give them a quick and simple answer, which they are usually quite satisfied with.
Well with Mike, it was diffferent, I responded with the whole entire truth, for God knows what reason (literally). Mike got really excited and asked me where Sierra Leone was in comparison to Senegal. So i responded that it was a couple countries down from Senegal. This is when I found out that he was a Brother in Christ. He shared that he was supposed to go to Sierra Leone for a missions trip. (and him sharing this was just amazing since he had no idea we were Christians, but he had the boldness to procclaim his love and desire to work whole heartedly for God, which I really admired.) He told me that he unfortunately didnt think the trip was going to work out and it made him really sad because next year he will have a good chunk of months off and was hoping to really spend some time in a country in need of servants, to invest time and whatever savings he had and just do ministry there for a while.

I jokingly suggested he should go to Senegal, and after noticing that he loved the idea and was serious about, I decided we should exchange contact information so that he could possibly talk to my parents about going to Senegal and helping with ministry wherever there is a need for several months. How amazing is that ? Who knows, if this Works out, maybe just maybe, God had pre planned the failure of his trip in Sierra Leone, and pre planned our being at that school in Grandview, KS and had pre planned my telling him I was from Senegal, just so that God could use him in Senegal to serve as a short-term missionary ! If it doesnt work out, either way I believe he was a gréât blessing to us, and us to him. Mikes testimony and stories about the power and présence of God in his life was incredible. He later on told me that it was a gréât blessing for him to have met both Tiffany and I and hed been very encouraged by it. He said it completely made his day. :) Another gréât ending to a gréât story, was how after Mike helped us load our van and after sharing a couple of last words, he reached in his Pocket and said. « You know what, you girls have worked really hard today, and it was so good meeting you, that I want to buy you diner ! So heres $20 and you girls go get yourself something to eat tonight on me ! »

WOW. Ok. Clearly at first, Tiff and I had a hard time receiving it. It just felt wrong to take money from a highschool custodian, but God did use him to bless us in many ways and when God blesses us we cant refuse his blessings. His grâce is outrageously phénoménal and I cant express my gratefulness towards what He provided us with this past week !!!
I haaaaaad to share it with you. I know i twas a lot, and I need to work on updating you guys more often so you dont have as much to read all at once, but Im trying.

This past week's blessings go along gréât with the sermon we heard this past Sunday, one I will be sharing with you soon. (probably not this weekend, since I will be taking advantage of every possible minute to be with loved ones.) but soon enough. I promise.

I want to thank you deeply for your prayers. God is watching over me and blessing me beyond belief on top of that. Just when I start getting down and lonely, He provides me with people to meet or even better, friends to spend time with. I'm so so happy ! So thank you again for your prayers. You guys are a gréât support !

May thèse BLESSINGS return to you as well.
Much much love,
DJO

Strangers become friends

2010-10-01T10:27:00.000-07:00

"I am so blessed. I cannot complain about anything. In fact God's blessed me with so much and I've learned not to take it for granted, instead I keep asking him everyday to just keep guiding me through life while all the while thanking Him.".This is part of the conversation I was able to have with one of the hotel workers the other night.
I will get back to this conversation, but I thought it was a good way to introduce this blog entry. I really don't have any idea where I am going with this, but I am just marveled at God's glory and righteousness and want to share with you guys how I've been able to see Him in the smallest things.

I've been staying at a Super 8 motel in Nixa, Misouri for a couple of nights. Our last show was on wednesday and we aren't having another until monday, which you might think is great. But during those days where we stay at one place for a couple of days without a schedule or anything specific to do, I start wondering "Ok...what am I going to do here?" The days become blurrs, they become filled with the same redundancy, and boredom creeps in as ansyness settles in. Nothing to do, nowhere to go, nobody to talk to.
Well that's where I have it all wrong. No matter where I am, and how long I am there, God is as well. Not only is He present, but if I really open my eyes, I can see Him in anything and everything, and I start looking at life in a new light. A bright, shiny one. I see His beauty everywhere and I feel rested and peaceful and content again.

We arrived at this motel on a late afternoon and as I was unloading the van, I noticed that there was construction going on on the first floor. We were placed in a room at the very end of the second floor's hallway. Since we were staying there longer than the usual, I decided to bring in a lot more things than I usually do. Because of this distance between our room and where we'd parked the van, I figured...well maybe I can use another exit that won't require as much walking. I found one exit, but it had caution tape on it and asked to use the front door exit, so I found another exit that was even closer to our van, and since I saw no signs of redirection of forbiding me to use it, I naturally used it. As I get to the first floor, I walk through construction and unfinished floor and chaos. As I finally use the exit that this hallway led me to, I see 3 older construction men sitting outside working on some things. I smile and say hello as I keep walking towards my van. The oldest of them calls me and tells me I am not allowed to use this exit at all. I apologize and tell him I didn't seen any signs. He responds by saying "well ya musta not been looking good enough cus I'm pretty sure there are signs everywhere about using the front door only." I inform him that I only saw one door with such a sign, which I didn't use (i was very calm and collected, despite his rudeness) and apologize while also asking whether there is any other exit I could use other than the front door. He says the front door is the only one since they are doing construction and don't want to be responsible for anyone getting hurt. I tell him I understand and thank him for that, and proceed to use the front door to bring all the rest of my crap upstairs.

I'm a little frustrated, but no biggie. I don't let it ruin my evening. So after settling in (I lit some incense so I can have a familiar scent in every place I stay so it could kind of have a homey feel to it hehe), I decide to answer my hunger and go to Mcdonalds to get mocha and a $1 chicken sandwich :) On my way to Mcdonals, I walked through a park, which had a soccer field. As I inhaled memories of playing soccer in Huntington through the smell of the fresh cut grass, I noticed a man and his 3 year old looking son getting ready to play soccer. What amazed me, was that the man was still wearing his suit from work, and was carrying his man perse in one hand while the other hand was held by his son kicking a soccer ball. For some reason, I thought this was the most amazing picture ever. A father took the time after a long day at work to take his son to play soccer with. I don't know why it struck me so much, but I thought of all the kids who don't have parents or lack one parent, and thought of all the kids who do have parents but whose parents just don't have the time of day to play with them even while they are at home. My heart broke for those kids and I was reminded of how blessed I was to have had two parents and awesome sibblings to grow up with. On my way back from Mcdonalds, I witnessed the amazing sunset and actually wished I had my camera. It was so beautiful. Just one of those things that happens daily, nothing new, but it's so easy to take for granted, when God clearly is a phenomenally exceptional artist who blesses us with this art each day and how often do we really take the time to thank Him for that? Even the smallest things of creation, God appreciates a thanks for.
This reminds me of a story Max Lucado shared about a young street boy in Brazil that he had brought in a coffe shop to buy a treat to, while expecting the child to just grab the treat and run with it, as most of the street kids in Brazil usually do. However, this boy wasn't like the other boys.
"The little Brazilian orphan looked up at the big American missionary, smiled, a smile that would have stolen your hear and said, "Obrigado." (Thank you)Then, nervously scratching the back of his ankle with his big toe he added "Muito Obrigado."(Thank you very much.)
All of a sudden I had a crazy craving to buy him the whole restaurant.
But before I could say anything, he turned and scampered out the door.
As I write this I"m still standing at the coffee bar, my coffee is cold, and I'm late for my class. But Istill feel the sensation that Ifelt half an hour ago. And I'm pondering this question: If I am so moved by a street orphan who says thank you for a piece of bread. How much more is God moved when I ause to thank him...really thank him...for saving my soul?"
Max Lucado

I'm sorry, you will be hearing a lot of wisdom from Max Lucado as long as I am blogging and reading his books haha. I would hope that Max would be ok with my using his stories though. I mean why not share his wisdom? He writes so we can be encouraged, and since I am constantly encouraged and challenged by his writings, I think it's only fair to share it with you and have you be encouraged and challenged by it as well dear Reader. :P

So that night, I spent a lot of time on the phone with friends and family. As I was talking to one of my friends, and venting about loneliness and talking about how I missed even just meeting people randomly and having conversations with strangers, she reminded me that I shouldn't be discouraged and instead I should seek out the opportunities because a lot of times they are right underneath our nose and we just don't realize it. She gave me an example of how she was able to have a short conversation with the lady at the desk of the lobby in her motel, and that just simple occasions like that are closer than we think.
A while after talking to her, I got hungry and decided to go to my van and grab a bowl and spoon so I could "steal" some cereal from the lobby. I noticed a young lady sitting at the computer at the desk and we exchanged a couple quick words but nothing much and on my way to the van, I rememberd Jessie and I's conversation about ceizing opportunities that are closer than we think. SO I decided to have an actual conversation on my way back up to my room.
I started out by asking simple questions like "Do you work here" and "How do you like it" etc. She was caught a bit off guard and I think initially questioned my intentions, only to admit later that she has a very hard time trusting people. She told me that she is a single mother and has a 3 year old son who keeps her going. She would do anything for him. She talked about her childhood, and how her parents kicked her out of her home when she was 16. How she moved to California and went from knowing no one and having no money, or food, to 4 years later managing a restaurant and feeling really good about where her life had led her. She told me about her loneliness and wishing she had a boyfriend, and how stubborn she was, and tough. Of course, I talked a bit about my job and how the videos we show encourage kids to make the right decidison in their lives no matter what any one else says to them. She thought it was great because when her parents kicked her out, they told her she would never make it without them. She was proud to say she proved them wrong. We just had a great conversation. One of the things I told her was that I really respected her for how far she'd come and how a lot of times, people who have had a bad childhood can either go one way and be completely screwed up or go the other way and learn from it and decide to never put any one through what they went through, and I could tell she chose the latter. She seems like a great parent. She said she learned spanish in California and is teaching her child spanish, and even though she is worried about his disability to speak, she knows he is smart and will come around. I was able to encourage her and tell her he would be fine because my nephew took a little longer to speak and it caused him to be angry and stressed but he came out of it fine and he is actually trilingual now.
This is also when I told her that I coudlnt really relate to her because it seemed like she had gone through so much, but came out of it so strong, whereas I had nothing to complain about, because I've always been blessed and Ithank God for it everyday and I've learned not to take it for granted. She told me she respected that a lot, because a lot of people take things for granted etc... We also talked about other things, but at the thend of the conversation I told her I was in room #238 and if ever she got bored in the lobby one night to feel free to call my room and have me come down because I would love talking again! She seemed real grateful and after saying it was nice talking, and getting my cereal, I went back to my room.
Carla was her name. I don't know that I will ever see her again or anything. I don't know if if she needed that conversation as much as I did, but she doesn't even know how much I needed that. Just talking to someone felt so great! I hadn't blogged my very first week of traveling, but i had the opportunity to witness to an old homeless man in Norhtern California and we had talked for about 45 minutes and I was so excited about it, and I couldn't wait for these opportunities to come again, but since they haven't come to often, I started losing courage, and thankfully, Jessie was able to encourage me and remind me that maybe I shoudln't wait for someone to come talk to me each time, but maybe I need to do a little bit of the work as well.

So the next morning, I did what I usually do and woke up at 8:30 just to get breakfast, bring it to my room, and go right back to sleep haha. Since my hair isn't the prettiest of sights when I arise, I usually wear a hoodie and cover my hair with its hood. Well, on my way to the breakfast counter, the old construction man that had previously been quite rude to me looks at me and reaches for my hood and says "I wonder what would happen if I took this off." I laugh and strongly discouraged him to do such a thing saying "The hood is on for a reason, you don't want to do that!" He laughs and says "well that is exactly why I want to see what is under there." haha He then made a couple other jokes while acting as if we'd known each other for years. Won't you look at that! Is that what happens when the Spirit takes over your actions and words and allows you to stop yourself from snapping at someone for being unecessarily rude to you? You then become best friends with them? Wow, good to know. I should do that more often! :)

Today, I saw him again and he got really excited and was very nice and teased me some more. Also, since my hunger kicked in, I went downstairs to get some cereal again and the lady working at the desk at the time (not Carla, a different lady) asked me if I was hungry and offered delicious pizza bread and told me I could have whatever was left. I smiled and took it very gratefully. I said "man... you guys are spoiling me out here!" and they laughed and made more jokes. THen I told the men doing construction that they were doing a great job and to keep it up and went back to my room.
I think the lady was grateful to me earlier that day because as I was doing paper work in the lobby, a very old couple came in complaining and grumbling about the construction and whatever else they could complain about, and the lady was trying to be as patient as possible with them, but I could tell she was struggling with that. After the couple left, I turned and smiled at her out of sympathy to show her I understood her pain, and she smiled back "sighing" and shook her head. So in return of a simple smile, I got food later haha.

It's funny how such simple interactions, or seing a father and son playing soccer, an old man walking his playful dogs, or just watching the sunset can bring such joy to my heart. It's the simple things in life like that that prove that there is a God, not one who is far away in the big sky watching us, but who is right there in everything we see and witness, for all he created was good, unfortunately we somehow always find a way to ruin it both physically or just with our words and thoughts, but He is there, closer than we think.

Well it sure is getting chilly in this starbucks. I'm going to call it a night. Thank you SO much for taking the time to read my looooong blog! :D

Love D

Good ol' Southern Hospitality

2010-09-28T10:24:00.000-07:00

Sept 28th

Ok, so I fail at keeping my word with posting when I say i will...so sorry!

Alright so monday....great day!

We had a show in Alma, AR. ( I think...I really can't keep track of which state or town I'm in anymore). But either way, we were in a really small town, and this is the same town in which we stayed sunday night at the Days Inn, where we I just posted about.
So, I already knew people were nice in this town, thanks to sweet ol' Mary. So I had a good feeling about the school. We had 3 shows there, meaning it was going to be a long day, but I was fully prepared for it!

So we drive super early to get to the next on monday morning and we drive through the town, and I repeat, the town is extremely small. Not much to drive through, so I'm thinking to myself "I wonder why we have three presentations in this school, since it is such a small town, the school must be small as well.They can't have that many students, that we would show our film 3 times!"

WELL....we get to the school and it's like we entered another universe. The school is gorgeous and HUGE! LIke I felt like I was on a college campus, a small one, but one nonetheless. They had a huge auditorium, a mini bookstore to buy sweatshirts and all that, a big cafeteria, and though I didn't see the gym, we were told it was breath taking. So, I guess the building is that huge because counties and towns that are close by send their kids there.
The principal, janitor, and director of theatre welcomed us and were extremely nice. The janitor was really funny. Super tight with everyone, and offered us breakfast after getting a phone call from the cafeterai lady asking him what she wanted him to save him from the cafeteria. We declined, since we had already eaten, and wouldn't have had time to eat anyway. But it was very sweet.

The set up went well and fast. We had 3 young men help us, including Tom the janitor, and Steve the theatre director.

We showed ouf film to about 2700 students that day.Crazy! Talk about my fear of public speaking. haha. It really wasn't that bad. The kids were great. We started out with the highschoolers, Junior high, and ended with elementary :D

The highschoolers often times are to cool for school to show excitement or appreciation of the video, but they seemed like they genuinely enjoyed it. Two young girls even came afterwards to ask information about Camfel, because they were interested in working for it after graduating.

Junior High seemed to like it as well. To be honest, It's all kind of a blurr, when you have that many students in one day. But it seemed like it went well. The principal was pleased and talked with us afterwards for a bit.

Then we had about 2 hours between our second show and our third one and we were a bit conerned about how we would pass our time, since we had to stay at the school to check up on our equipment, yet didn't have much to do there either.
UNTIL...the principal, Tom, and Steve at completely different times invited us to eat at their caffeteria. They each talked about how good the food is, and how there is a huge range of options and it would be on them, so we could feel free to just help ourselves to whatever.
Ok....happiest day ever! I'm sure I've mentioned earlier how broke I've been. So i've been saving the few dollars I have for food, but it's come to a point where I have to sit down and think. Ok....do I want to spend $3 on the Mcdonald's dollar menu....or do I want to spend $5 at a grocery store on milk and cereal/ or soup/ or microwavable food that I can save for two meals. Haha yea...very sad.

So needless to say, I haven't really been eating well for the past 2 weeks (we only get paid once a month...and I guess I need to adjust to that, because my previous job paid me weekly...and since I suck at money management....that's how I've come to this point. lol).
So hearing that I had options at a buffet style cafeteria...for FREE was the best news of the week (other than knowing that I will be getting paid this friday :D)
So, I went to town in that cafeteria haha. Praising God. I was like, oh God....you have provided food for me today. I was so happy!
It's funny because when we had gotten interviewed for this job, our boss had mentioned to each of us that a lot of times schools do invite us technicians to have lunch in their cafeteria, which when I found out about it, I was excited for it. But after 2 months of doing this and not ever getting invited, I had lost hope. Well, I just didn't think about it anymore, and figured, well maybe some people get luckier than others. No problem though. God has my back and tooootally hooked me up on monday. He couldn't have picked a better week for a school to feed me free (and good) cafeteria food!!

After lunch, we still had a bit of time before our elementary show and boy was I excited about this one. Before the show, I asked Tom if he could make me a cup of coffee and he was more than glad to do it. So not only did they provide me with a great lunch, but my addiction to caffeine, was also fed. Wonderful!
I love doing elementary shows. The film itself is fun to watch and cute, but I looove the reactions of little kids to seeing our great big screens that are literally 40 times their size haha.

Oh Prior to this, I forgot to talk about the Principal of the Junior HIgh kids.She was a lclassy ady in her 60s and was so sweet to us. She really took the time to talk to us and get to know us. I don't know if it was because she was a female and felt more comfortable doing so, because usually we have male principals and though they are very nice, they don't really take the time to have a full on conversation with us about where we are from and how we've come to this point and other things like that. So, she announced to the whole school that I was from Senegal when she introduced us haha.

So anywho, back to elementary, I just couldn't stop smiling at the sight of these little kids interacting with each other, pointing at the screens, giggling, not holding still, and just ... well.....being kids! No worries, no stress, just life and excitement for everything. "sigh" they made my heart happy. They absolutely loved the show to. I couldn't believe how many of them cheered when they saw Lady Gaga's name ! When the song played, they were all singing along and cheering. I was in shock!!! Haha, kids grow way to fast nowadays. It's actually kind of scary. hehe.

So that was my wonderful monday morning/beginning of afternoon!

After our three shows, we had the fastest tear down ever. We had three young men help us, including Steve who was great because usually we like to roll our own cords so we know they are rolled correctly, but since he is in the theatre businees, and works a lot with electronics and sound and media, he knew how to do it, so that helped make time fly.
After tearing down, we sat down with him and the 3 students and just talked and laughed with them for a while. It was quite excellent! Definitely a great way to start our week!

Once we were done, we drove about 20 minutes to our hotel and just relaxed for the rest of the evening. I had a great conversation with a friend who told me that my passion for photography had really encouraged her to step up in do something about her passions as well, and she just kept talking about how the Spirit had really touched her through my work and she got chills just thinking about how amazing God is with connecting His body of followers despite the distance. It was just great to talk with her, very very encouraging!
I also spoke with my sister, my father, and other friends on the phone. I socially survive on these conversations! They really keep me going!

Yup...monday was a success! Thanks to you praying warriors!

Blessings,

DJO

Expedia lady gets roasted by God.

2010-09-27T10:19:00.000-07:00

Sept 27th

Oh my God! Literally! He has done so much and been so faithful to me and I am just sooo encouraged and I HAVE to share it with you. Where to begin!??

Well for starters, I will begin where I promised I would. With yesterday's day :)

So, Tiffany and I on saturday nights like to go online, and check different churches out to see where we will be going the next morning. It's always interesting because we never know what to expect and just kind of go with the flow. Well, I stumbled upon a church called "Life" church and the website was really appealing and it sounded like something we would enjoy. So after sharing it with her and her agreeing that it sounds good, we headed there the next morning.

It was a big church and as soon as I enterered, I was filled with joy. You know the type of joy you know comes from Up there. Where you know you are surrounded by people from all sorts of backgrounds and points in their lives but through it all decided to seek the living God for whatever reason. Yup. That's the feeling of unity and fellowship. Entering the actual sanctuary however, filled me with an additional set of emotions. Sadness, reminiscence, and "homesickness." The sanctuary looked exactly like the auditorium we had in HUntington. The stage, the seats, the cross hanging on the right wall, everything...It was creepy how similar this sanctuary looked like Huntington's auditiorium, in which I was at least twice a week (and more usually). I immediately got super sad and starting missing Huntington. Missing praising God in the MCA auditorum, missing good times with friends, missing the usual seats my friends and I would sit in, starting from freshman year sitting with my sister to senior year sitting with a comlpetely different group of friends. So many memories just flushed through, and I was filled with sadness. Yup Huntington folks, I miss chapel!

So as we sat down and began worship, I prayed to God and just said, Lord, I believe you have a message for me this morning and I just pray that these emotions may be taken away so I am not distracted by them but can instead just focus on what you have in store for me.
So here's a little bit from my jounral that I jotted down.
ps This sermon wasn't any life turning sermon or anything like that, just a simple reminder that I know we all need every now and then.
We started out in Luke 19. It talks about the good ol' sotry of Zaccheus. The wealthy tax collector who was to short to see/hear jesus until he climbed on the fig tree and was able to have a better view of CHrist and received His salvation after that. The pastor had a couple different points and I wrote down a bit here and there, but spent a lot more time listening and thinking than writing, so pardon me if some of my journal notes don't make to much sense or don't connect.

We have to decide whether God is really worth finidng or not. (that was his first point). I say God is the absolute most valuable treasure any one could ever find! (the pastor had used the illustration of a treasure map and how fun treasure hunts are).
( I wrote this in french in my journal): I believe God is more pure than silver, more beautiful than diamonds, and more precious than gold! Literally 5 minutes after writing this, the pastor used this song as an example of how valuable of a treasure God is!!!!
Lord thank you for keeping my head in the game...one step ahead thanks to the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Nothing can be compared to you oh God.

We need to wake up every day thinking we are going on a treasure hunt. we wake up thinking...I need to find God in everything I do, see, think, and speak. How much better and more fun can our life be if we are on a daily treasure hunt for the absolute most valuable treasure ever found to mankind!?? :)

Then the pastor talked about how a lot of times people don't find God, this amazing treasure, because they are simply not seeking. Even though this treasure is trying to make it as easy as possible for us to find, we sometimes don't find it simply because we are not looking for it. In Ez 12:2, Ezekiel says "Son of man, you live among rebels who have eyes but refuse to see. They have ears but refuse to hear." This verse also reminded of about how Paul says in Romans 1: 19-20 "They know the truth about God because he has made it obvious to them. For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and the sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities-his eternal power and divinse nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God." So when we are not finding/hearing God, maybe we just aren't truly looking for Him. It's one thing to say a quick prayer, but God knows our hearts and He knows if our prayer has value through faith or is blocked by unbelief, lack of faith, doubt, and uncertainty sometimes. If we don't believe in even being answered or heard for that matter, how can we hear Him? A lot of times it is so simple, all we have to do is ask, and believe what we are asking and believe in the power of the Spirit. In 1 John 14-15, it is said " And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hearts us when we make our requests, we also know that he will give us what we ask for." Or sometimes when don't find God, maybe we just aren't utilizing the tools he provides us with daily in order to find Him. The beauty of God (well one of the many) is that his being is so gentle, that he doesn't need to shout at us and yell in order for us to hear Him, but it's all in a whisper, in something unexpected, through a sermon, a word from a person, a book, something simple like that, through His word, or in Zachheus' case, through a fig tree.

Once we do find Him. Let's let go and obey. Leave the fears behind and just listen and GO. He knows what is best or us so let us let go of our misconceived perceptions of what is right for us. I mean how many times have each of us seeked God and His will, and finally heard it and said "hmm ok God, I'll pass on this one, maybe next time," or "well God do you have a better idea cus I'm not to sure about this one" or better yet, "um God, thanks but no thanks, I'm gonna go ahead with what I think is best in this situation." How can creation know better than its creator what is good for it???
Finding God results in a changed LIFE!

When we find Him, we fall more and more in love with Him and His personality and are attracted to it and want to get to know it more and then it "magically" rubs off on us. I mean I'm not married, but I've seen this time and time again in couples so I can valitade this fact. They find each other, hang out, get to know each other, fall head over heals as they keep getting to know each other, get married, and then they spend so much time with each other that they start acting like each other! For those of you who are married, I'm sure yo could vouch for that. Well the same thing happens with God ( I know this isn't news to you, like I said earlier all of this is just a good reminder God brought me and I want to share the same reminder with you). SO yes after seeking this treasure daily and finding it, we become more like Christ!
How much wealthier can we be if we are continually seeking this great treasure every day?? We know we've found Him through that peace and joy we feel deep on the inside. Not just happines but pure joy and contetment through whatever circumstance we are in.
The way you know you have Christ's love flowing in your veins is when you feel peace joy, order in your life, love for others AND yourself, contentment, and accept grace. However you know something's off, and maybe you haven't fully taped in on that treasure when your life is filled with fear, restlessnes, hurry/hussle, shame, worry, and feel like your whole life is out of control.
These aren't from God. This teasure we find in Him takes care of all of that! Praise His name for that!
This treasure hunt is so much fun because the treasure wants to be found :) IN Chronicles 16:9 we re reminded of that. " The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengten those whose hearts are fully commited to Him."

God reminds me of that very single day because I daily have to face my fear of public speaking. I conclude the shows by thanking everyone for coming, encouraging them to talk about the video with each other or parents or teachers , and I also share a bit about how we have this job for many reasons but one of the main resons is that we truly care for these kids and hope that they can be motivated to make better decisions in their lives not only for themselves but for those around them. It's usually a pretty short conclusion, I mean I'll add a little more to it but no big deal. But I have a terrible fear of speaking in public.
In fact, for public speaking in college, I got an F on a speech because even though it was good and I had prepared it, and researched it, and rehearsed it, I got up in front of the class (ony like 20 of us) and couldn't say a word. After trying a couple times, I just looked at my professor, and said "I can't do this." He took me aside later and even though he was known as one of the most severe professors on campus who RARELY gave As, he gave me a second chance warning me that he would take a grade down for my second try. Praise God, I got a B when I tried a second time (meaning I originally woulda gotten an A hehehe).
So I redeemed myself but all of this to say I am deathly afraid of speeches, but every day right before stepping up to the mic when it's about that time, i just pray and ask Him to take it away from. This fear just goes away, God slows my heart pace, calms my nerves, and better yet gives me words and confidence.That's what He does when we seek Him.

I guess on the same note about God benig a treasure proving Himself in every way and everything in life, I just want to share one more thing from Max Lucado. He talked about being in Brazil and meeting an old man who asked him what he did for a living... When Max explained what a missionary was, the old man said "What you do must be easy." When Max asked him why he thought that, the old brazilian farmer repsonded: "I have no trouble believing in God. After what I see what He has done on my little farm, year after year, it is so easy to believe."
Max then goes on talking about Senhor Jose and his amazing faith brought my such a simple life. The simple miracles that he witnessed everyday. Such as "a small seed becoming a towering tree. A thin stalk pushing back to the earth. A rainbow arching in the midst of the thundercloud."
"It was easy for him to believe. I can see why. Someone who witnesses God's daily display of majesty doens't find the secret of Easter absurd. Someone who depends upon the mysteries of nature for his livelihood doesn't find it difficult to depend on an unseen God for his salvation.
"Nature," wrote[...], "is God's greatest evangelist." "Faith," wrote Paul, "doesn't rest in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God." The old brazilian farmer gave me a time-tested principle to take home. He reminded me that there is a certain understanding of God on the cross that comes only with witnessing his daily testimony. There comes a time when we should lay down our pens and commentaries and step out of our offices and libraries. To really understand and believe in the miracle on the cross, we'd do well to witness God's miracles every day."
Max Lucado

Ok...soo...this ended up being much longer than expected. I guess I'll share with you how God proved Himself once again me to me yesterday (in a way I was aware of at least, I'm sure He did many more times but I probably wasn't paying attention).

After driving for 5 hours and singing praises to God...We reached our hotel, one which I had booked the night bfore. Well we walk in, and the sweet little old lady tells us we aren't registered in their systems. So I say well that's alright, we can give you our confirmation number and have
you see that we did indeed book. The thing is, Ihad booked it through expedia.com so it could be cheaper, and so Tiffany reads the confirmation email, and smile and says "well it seems that we are indded booked her for not sept 26th, but DEC 26th." GO FIGURE!!! Iwould do something like that. For those of you who know me well, this may not come in as a surprise. Gosh I frustrate myself sometimes! SO the sweet little old lady says " well if it were up to me, i would change the dates but since you went though expedia , you need to call them to have them change it for you."

So we go ahead and cal them, and the lady I speak to tells me that the reservations are non refundable and non changebale. I ask her why, sternly, and she responds that they are the terms and policies. So confused I ask her if what other options I have...she responds "Well, well, if you have any friends who would like to in that hotel mam', they could pay you back." I say "I'm sorry, but I honestly cannot think of any of my friends who would want to stay in ALMA, AR the day after Christmas!!!" uggggh I was so frustrated! So she apologizes and asks if there is anything else she can do for me. " I say well, not really, but thanks for teaching me never to use expedia.com again. Thank you, have a good day and goodbye." Yeah, not the nicest but I was frustrated. haha. totally not a good excuse but hey i'll take it.
So we go back in the hotel and book for one night, and at this point I'm just thinking, no big deal, Ijust owe my boss money that I don't have, but whatever it's my responsiblity and I will suck it up.
Well, sweet little Mary tells us that we shold try calling again and just ask for their supervisor. So we thank her and tell her we'll do just that.

I go in our room and get online to get more details about all of this before calling them again, and I jus get frustrated because I feel like calling them again is jut going to be pointelss and I'm going to get the exact same answers and I just lose patience before even trying. Right then, God reminds of the sermon and how he cares about the absolutel small detail of our lives as much as the big issues All we have to do is seek and ask and He is right there. So Ithank Him for the reminder and ask Him to just lead me to the right people and believe that He will fix the issue. Now that's faith cus moments ago, I was just ready to give up, before even trying. It's amazing how easiy the ennemy can discourage us! So after praying, (which I later on find out that Tiffany was praying the exact same thing during all of this.) I call exedia again using a different number hoping I can talk to someone different Another lady responds and after expalinging everything, she tells me the exact same thing the other lady had already told me. After insisting on her expalinging exactly what rules and policies she was talking about, she says "well these are just the hotel's rules, and we cannoth chage them." AHA!!! BUSTED! She was lying straight to my face (well through the phone) because sweet lil' Mary had just told me earlier that if it were up to her, she would do thing something. So I tell this deceitful lady that Iam actually at the hotel and would love to have her talk to the desk lady because I believe she can "chage these policies and rules she is talking about." Aftet fumbling on her words becase she hadn't realized I was actually at the hotel, and against her own will she spoke to sweet Mary!

Mary was so firm with this lady, it was unbelievable. I loved it! She totally solved the problem and we got our full reimbursement. HALLELUIJAH! BAM in your face expedia! haha I was sooo happy, GOd provided me(I'm at starbucks and a lady just gave me two bags of bright pink delicious looking cotton candy...score!) with patience, perseverance, and faith. All I had to do was ask Him, and He was right there, took care of it.

So that was my sunday. I also had a phenomenal day today, and would love to share it with you, but I think you got ear ear/eye full and got your share of encouragement haha. Sorry I am blabber! But how can I keep such testimonies to myself?? I'll save my monday for tomorrow.

Sorry for the mispelled words, Starbucks is closing and I don't have time to go through this blog and re edit everything. :/

Hope you got what you enjoyed nonetheless...

Blessings brohters and sisters in Christ, and great friends :)

LOOOOVE, DO

Fatigued

2010-09-26T10:16:00.000-07:00

Ok, so for the few faithful readers I have...this will be a super short blog entry.

The internet at the Day's Inn I'm at refuses to work properly and it''s been quite frustrating especially after driving 5 hours straight today, I wouldn't mind calling it a day sooner than I usually do.
Plus, we have an early show in the morning (3 presentations in one school) sooo extra sleep won't hurt.

BUT!!! God reaaaaally did some thing amazing for me today. Like woooah! So i cannot wait to share it with you, whomever you may be (well mom I know you are reading this :) but yes whomever else as well, I hope you come back again tomorrow and that you are encouraged by it!

It wasn't anything outrageous with angels bursting forth from the sky playing the harp and singing songs around me and a bright light shining from the Heavens or anything like that. It was just your typical every day God blessing.

It started out at Church when I asked God to help me focus on the sermon because I was having emotional distractions.

And then it continued on with God's reminder through the sermon playing out later on that day.

So all of this to say, I will be giving you details about my day TOMORROW because I am tired. Hopefully after our shows tomorrow, we will find a starbucks on the way to Fort Smith, AR (in which we will be staying for one night) and I'll have better internet there and more focus. (cus right now i'm just blabbering, and saying nonsense.)

So to whomever you may be. Have a blessed night or day, depending on where you are , and come back again tomorrow.

MUAH (holy kiss)

Blessings.....

I am beyond ridiculous when I am tired. So sorry.

DJO

Just a few rambles

2010-09-24T10:12:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching The Office and it made me very happy :)

Anywho....On days like today I am extremely thankful towards my "Nazzi" leaders and trainers during our two first weeks as Camfel Techs.
Oh the horror of waking up at 6am every morning. Quick breakfeast, quick meeting and by 7:30 we were on the go nonstop till a quick lunch and finally diner.
We were warned that these two weeks would be treacherous, but we had no idea, how painful they would be!
Three days into training, we were sore, exhausted, home sick, and just completely ou to it.
From lifting, running, setting up, working with different people every two days, sweating, working hard under the sun, hussling, dragging ourselves on the ground, being timed, and pushed all day to waking up the next and start over!?

Yeah....it was tough BUT all for a splendid reason!
Today, Tiffany and I had 4 shows in two different schools.
Normally, we are to be at a school 2 hours ahead of the actual show in order to have time only to set up (which at a normal set up takes about 1h30), but also to give us enough time if we were ever to run into technical difficulties, or get lost on the way, or whatever other problems could occur before the show.

So our first school scheduled a 9:05 show and a 10:15 show. Each presentation adds up to 45 minutes..
Our second school scheduled a 1:00pm show, and a 2:00pm show.
It usually takes about 30 minutes to tear down, but it's doable in 20 minutes if hussling like we did back in training.
If you do the math here, you notice that by the time we finish tearing down at the first school, we should already be at the second starting our setup.
The schools were only a couple of miles apart, but still this task seemed close to impossible.
Needless to say last night and earlier this morning I was quite nervous about today.
I knew we would be hussling, with barely any food in our bellies and little amounts of energy.

BUT had we not been pushed so hard during training, on days like these, we would've been late.
Instead of being late, we actually had 35 minutes to spare once everything was set up at the first school and about 20 minutes left to spare at our second as well.
We couldn't have done this without our tough training weeks, (and the 6 young boys that helped us tear down at the first school were a good help as well.)

Anywho, such was my day. Intense and exhausting, but definitely doable.
The schools were in Misouri and we are back at our motel in Kansas. We will be here till sunday, and then we'll stay in Misouri for a week or so.

I was really sad today because we got our October schedule in the mail (our boss sends mail for us to schools where he knows we'll be, that's how we get mail.) and I was hoping that I would be in Coloroado for my birthday (Oct 21rst), but I'll be in Misouri :(
It's ok though, I will be getting an early present in the mail from my dear friend Jessie, whom I spent about 3 hours on the phone with today, and witnessed her excitement as she "saw the perfect gift for me!" hehe.
Also, other good news, along with our schedule, we got an evaluation form from one of the first shools we'd done in Norhtern California, and we got all 5s (out of 5s, not 10 haha).
It's encouraging to feel like we are working hard, but also have it "confirmed" by our clients!

So anywho, such has been my day. We had two days off, and definitely made up for them today! whew! gonna sleep like a baby tonight!

Be blessed friends and fam! I pray for you!

Dorina

Alive!

2010-09-23T09:06:00.000-07:00

Another day spent in Olathe, KS

We chose this motel because it was near a mall, and a movie theatre, and multiple restaurants.
Unfortunately...I am beyond broke (Pray for my money management. haha) and so I am surrounded by temptations.
Thus I force myself to stay inside, which can get very lonely and old after a while.
Thankfully, living in Colorado without a car prepared me for days such as these.
TV, Internet, sleep, eat.
Pretty sad huh?
well yea it is...days like these make me feel like I'm dead on the inside. Like I am useless to the earth, Not bringing any one anything.
I want to feel alive and purposeful.

So for any one feeling this way, I just wanted to share a Chapter from the book "No wonder they call Him Savior" by Max Lucado.
He describes the process of the death and resurrection of Christ in a very unique way. It is quite powerful actually. At the end of it, I remember that I am alive though Christ. And that He's gone through all of the emotions I go through daily. Even though I don't feel useful because I am not interacting with people, humans, or doing anything, I do matter and am alive this great moment in History happened.

ALIVE!

Road. Dark. Stars. Shadows. Four. Sandals. Robes. Quiet. Suspense. Grove. Trees. Alone. Questions. Anguish. "Father!" Sweat. God. Man. God-man. Prostrate. Blood. "NO!" "Yes." Angels. Comfort.
Footsteps. Torches. Voices. Romans. Surprise. Swords. Kiss. Confusion. Betrayal. Fearful. Run! Bound. Wrists. Marching.
Courtyard. Priests. Lamps. Sanhedrin. Caiaphas. Sneer. Silk. Arrogance. Beard. Plotting. Barefoot. Rope. Calm. Shove. Kick. Annas. Indignant. Messiah? Trial. Nazarene. Confident. Question. Answer. Punch!
Peter. "Me?" Rooster. Thrice. Guilt.
Proceedings. Court. Rejection. Prosecute. Weary. Pale. Witnesses. Liars. Inconsistent. Silence. Stares. "Blasphemer!" Anger. Writhing. Bruised. Dirty. Fatigued. Guards. Spit. Blindfold. Mocking. Blows. Fire. Twilight.
Sunrise. Golden. Jerusalem. Temple. Passover. Lambs. Lamb. Worshipers. Priests. Messiah. Hearing. Fraud. Prisoner. Waiting. Standing. Shifting. Strategy. "Pilate!" trap. Murmurs. Exit.
Stirring. Parade. Crowd. Swell. Romans. Pilate. Toga. Annoyed. Nervous. Officers. Tunics. Spears. Silence. "Charge?" "Blasphemy."Indifference." Ignore. (Wife. Dream.) Worry. Interview. Lips. Pain. Determined. "King?" "Heaven." "Truth." "Truth?" Sarcasm. (Fear.) "Innocent!" Roar. Voices. "Galilean!" "Galilee?" "Herod!"
9:00 AM. Marchers. Palace. Herod. Fox. Schemer. Paunchy. Crwon. Case. Scepter. Hall. Elegance. Silence. Manipulate. Useless. Vexed. Revile. Taunt. "King?" Robe. Theatrical. Cynical. Hateful. "Pilate!"
Marching. Uproar. Prisoner. Hushed. Pilate. "Innocent!" Belam ."Barabbas!" Riot. Despair. Christ. Bare. Ruins.Wall. Back. Whip. Slash. Scourge. Tear. Bone. Moan. Flesh. Rhythm. Silence. Whip! SIlence. Whip! Silence. Whip. Thorns. Stinging. Blind. Laughter. Jeering .Scepter. Slap. Governor. Distraught. (Almost.) Eyes. Jesus. Decision. Power. Freedom? Threats. Looks. Yelling. Weak. Basin. Water. Swayed. Compromise. Blood. Guilt.
Soldiers. Thieves. Crosspiece. Shoulder. Heavey. Beam. Heavy. Sun. Stagger. Incline. Houses. Shops.Faces. Mourners. Murmurs. Pilgrims. Women. Tumble. Cobblestone. Ehaustion. Gasping. Simon. Pathertic. Golgotha.
Skull. Calvary. Crosses. Execution. Death. Noon. Tears. Observers. Wails. Wine.Nude. Bruised. Swollen.Crossbeam. Sign. Ground. Nails. Pound. Pound. Pierced. Contorted. Thirst. Terrible. Grace. Writhing. Raised. Sponge. Tear.Taunts. Forgiveness. Dice. Gambling. Darkness.
Absurdity.
Death. Life.
Pain. Peace.
Condemn. Promise.
Nowhere. Somewhere.
Him. Us.
"Father!" Robbers. Paradise.Wailing.Weeping. Stunned. "Mother." Compassion. Darkness. "My God!" Afraid. Scapegoat. Wilderness. Vinegar. "Father." Silence. Sigh. Death. Relief.
Earthquake. Cemetery. Tombs. Bodies. Mystery.Curtain. Spear. Blood. Water. Spices. Linen. Tomb. Fear. Waiting. Despiar. Stone. Mary. Running. Maybe? Peter. John. Belief. Enlightenment. Truth. Mankind. ALive. ALive. ALIVE!

Home sick

2010-09-21T09:02:00.000-07:00

So, I guess I will keep this one short. I just wanted to send out a bit of encouragement because recently, as I had shared earlier, I've just been homesick (missing many different homes).
It can be hard being on the road non stop, not feeling like I have roots anywhere.
Of course I can only hope that God can allow me to impact people on the route, but in the meantime, I get sad, lonely, and sometimes scared.

Its' been ridiculous how emotional I've gotten.
For example this morning, I was skyping my big brother Jules from home, and he reminded me that Ianis (my other brother) would be home (in Senegal) in November. I started tearing up at the thought that for the very fist time in over 7 years, my whole entire family would be home together for Christmas, but I wouldn't be a part of it.
Then I went outside to read, and the the weather was humid, warm, overcast, and super windy, and it made me think of Indiana weather, and I got sad.
SO then I walked to Mcdonald's to buy a Mocha with chocolate and caramel drizzle (because this is usually how I would start my Huntington mornings during the fall), and on my way there, I saw a big Tyson truck (you know, the chicken that a lof of fast foods use), well that made me sad because it made me miss working at the HUB. My fast food job on campus in Huntington.

SO at this point, I just tell myself "wow Dorina, you are ridiculous! comon, get it together." (I am so gracious towards myself....not).

Then God (who truly is filled with grace), just says to me. I know you are sad, and miss a lot of things and sometimes feel lonely, but I just want to remind you that no matter who you are with, where you are, or what you are doing, I am always right here, right next to you.

What a great reminder. God isn't just available for us to call on Him and talk to Him during the times we feel that way, He is ACTUALLYright there. His presence is always surrounding us! We are filled with it and surrounded by it. Our fears, and sadness can overwhelm us and be so loud in our heads and so heavy on our hearts, but God's quiet gently whisper reminds us that He is right there.
HE is there to hold us, comfort us, love us, give us peace, help us to refocus, and best of all give us this joy that no one can really explain. Joy in the midst of sadness. Hope like an oasis in the middle of the desert.

His neverending love is always right there, even if we are away from everything that is comfortable to us.

I am so thankful for His everlasting presence in my life. One that will never leave me alone, especially when I feel the loneliest of all.

So yeah, that's how I've been feeling.

Keep the prayers coming please and leave comments so I know who and what to pray for in return!

much love,

Do

Luke Warm Christians

2010-09-20T08:58:00.000-07:00

Sept 20th Devotional

As promised earlier, here is what God revealed to me on sunday morning at Church.
I will just write out everything I wrote down in my journal that morning. Here it is..

So...I am sitting here in a church and I was excited to come because we checked this out online and it sounded chill and laid back and welcoming.
Here we are, we were well welcomed, and got coffee and now Iam listening to the sermon.
It's about baptism. The pastor isn't all the engaging and on top of that He is preaching about baptism. Now my first thought was "Ok...I've been baptized and I am sure I will pretty much agree with everything he says. This going to be so pointless, we are going to sit here, not meet anyone, and I'm not even going to get anything out of this sermon."
WRONG! That's terrible thinking! I'm blesed to be in the house of the Lord and need to lower my expectations and instead to just open my heart to what the Lord has for me.
(So after writing all of this and attempting to listen to the pastor, I still had a hard time focusing until he read out of Luke 11:38. So here is the rest of my journal entry.)
Luke 11:38
The Jews were astonished that Jesus didn't perform the ceremonial hand-washing required by their traddition. (this isn't the literal verse, just what I quickly had gathered from it as it was read to us).
It goes on talking about CHrist's response. He calls them fools because they are so focused on the outside of the cup but forget that the inside is filthy.
Christ just amazes me because He was SO wise! He was also a rebel. He came, spoke truth in love, but also broke so many rules from the Jewish traddition and it appalled so many people, but Christ always had a great reason for breaking certain rules.
He was a rebel with a cause, a purpose, and a goal.
He wanted His followers to think about what they were doing, and WHY they were doing it.
CHrist calls us to follow the Law but before doing so, it's important to understand exactly why you are following a certain rule. This brings me to the wuestion "WHy do I believe what I believe?"
Do i aimlessly go though life doing everything I do just "because the Bible says I should?" Or do I seek, search, implore the Father to share His wisdom to me through the power of the Holy Spirit?"
Christ calls us to live the way He did, I believe that also means we are called to be rebels. Not rebels who just cause chaos and break rules to fulfill that innate human desire to do evil and go against the crowd, but to be rebels who are still under the influence of God, who guides us and leads us to where He wants us to be in life.

For example, yesterday on my way to a bookstore, TIffany and I saw a bumper on a car that said "I like your CHrist, but I hate you CHristians, for you are nothing like your Christ." That makes me stop and think. "Who is this bumper sticker/message for? Is it for the blind "Christian" who misinterprets the Holy Word of Truth and Love and goes around preaching to hate the homosexuals, ones who are pro-abortion, and ones that "they" judge as "unworthy of life" because they aren't good enough. Is that bumper sticker for these Christians?? Or is it even for me, who seeks Christ and His teachings and longs to be like Him but fails day after day??

I believe that if as a Christian body were truly what we call ourselves "followers of Christ," we would be more careful about the way we live, act, speak, and think. Instead of just hearing "what the word" says through a third party (usually a pastor, book, classes, chapel, or even each other), we should be seeking the Word for ourselves. Get in there. Don't let other people do the struggling for you. Do the struggling yourselves! Do the searching, do the questionning, try to understand, and let's not forget that we can do all of that with the Holy Spirit right along our sides to answer some (not all) difficult questions. Get in there and do the dirty work on a one on one basis with God!
I looove when Christ talks to the Pharisees and says "what sorrows awaits you, you religious teachers who give unbearable commands, and don't lift a finger to ease their burdens!"
Is that who the bumper sticker is addressed to. THe hypocrites? WHo preach but don't live as they speak?
This is why Christ came to the world. To teach but also love and accpet the weak, the poor, the unworthy, the weary.
I was reading in Max Lucado about Christ's grace when He granted forgiveness to the thief on the cross. Max goes on and says:
"there is one grinning ex-con walking the golden streets of Heaven who knows grace better than 10000 theolodgians."
What is Law, without grace? Impossible.

The pharisees felt insulted but Christ was just speaking truth. He came to this earth to restore our broken relationship with God. he became that gap that could bridge us back to God without us having to follow all the "unbearable religious demands" by ourselves but accepting that yes, we are unworthy and as much as we try, we will fail. but we have the SON of God who didn't just lift a finger to ease our burden when we try to follow God's demands, but He lifted His entire body, and sacrificed all He was for us!
Christ was very clear about how he felt about religious leaders who preached yet didn't help out those they were preaching to.

In Matthew 23:3, He tells us to practice and obey what the Pharisees PREACH, but to not follow their EXAMPLE because they don't even practice what they preach. ONCE AGAIN, he says "They crush people with unbearable demands, and never lift their finger to ease the burden."
In Chapter 11:25, Jesus talks to God and says, "Oh Father, thank you for hiding these things from those who think themselves wiser and clever and for revealing them to the CHildlike."
Children are alway asking questions, trying to understand how things work, and why they work a certain way.have you ever asked a child to do something and gotten the response."Why?" and you answer "Cus I said so!!" without really explaining it to the Child, who just does it still without understanding. Yeah..I'm sure we all have. As frustrating as it is for us to receive such a response, our Father in Heave,n who is more patient than we could ever be, wants us to be like children and ask questions, and seek HIm , and try to understand His commands for us, even though most times they don't make sense. And He promises to answer our questions according to His will.

He's given us three extremely useful tools to understand His demands:
He gave us His son so we can understand His grace and mercy through our journey.
He gave us His word, which is filled with all the knowledge, wisdom, and truth we could ever seek.
And He gave us His Holy Spirit to become one with Him and understand/receive His person, truth, love, patience, wisdom, kindness, joy, knowledge, gentleness, perseverance, and faithfulness.
I don't know about you, but I don't mind being hated and persecuted because I follow Christ. What i DO mind, is being hated for giving the wrong representation of Christ's teaching as His follower. That means I'm doing something wrong, and it needs to be fixed!
WHy is it that nonbelievers sometimes know more about what Christians should look or act like than we do sometimes?
I don't want to be characterized as a "false prophet," as Christ calls them. in Matthew 24:13.
"What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you shut the door of the Kingdom of Heaven in people's faces. You won't go in yourselves, and you don't let others in either."

I encourage us to be rebels for CHrist. To truly seek the old AND new testament so that we may fully understand what we believe and why we believe it. Instead of blindly following what we are taught or what we hear left and right about what our relationship with God should be like.
This way we can fall even more in love with the one who created us and all become more like His son. WE can also be prepared when confronted by questions, or accusations such as "I hate you Christians because you are nothing like the Christ you claim to follow."
Needless to say....I didn't really pay much attention to the actual sermon, on baptism but because I asked God to open my ears and heart, He provided me with a mini sermon of His own just by reading Luke 11:38.

Good weekend in Manhattan, KS

2010-09-19T08:22:00.000-07:00

The weekend is over.booo.however it was quite a good one so Yay for that ! We were told recently that we have a show on Monday when we originally were supposed to have it off. But it's fine because we only have 3 presentations this coming week PLUS I've been quite addicted to this show called « Chuck « and the premiere for the new season is coming out tomorrow !!!! SO it will definitely be something to look forward to at the end of the day :D

Friday morning, our show was about 5 miles away from our motel, but we still had to get up early because our shows were at 8 :15 and 9 :15, and since we are supposed to be there 2 hours ahead of time, well yeah do the math !
So we get there, and get started setting up as soon as we are told where to go and what to do. It was in a gym a.k.a an easy set up, so it went pretty smoothly ! The Principal was very helpful and brought us water and whatever else we needed along the way.
We had about 750 students Watch it at that school and they were split in two sessions. It was a perfect in between number compared to the rest of the schools that week and I loved it. Thank you Lord. They reacted, cheered, bobbed their heads, and laughed at the right times, and paid close attention to the interviews all at the same time. *Sigh * What a good way to end a long week !!! :)

It was so good ! The second showing had a child that was hard of hearing , so they had an interpreter right there. It was so neat to see that even though it was only one child out of about 350 kids, they were still able to do that for her. SO needless to say, we had a great way to end our week. And to top it off we had helpers tear down with us this time. And by helpers I don't mean the usual 4 or 5 kids who are half heartedly doing what we ask of them (that's not always true by the way, we've had a couple really great kids help us out to), but I mean 6 grown men: P.E teachers, Principals, assistants, managers, regular teachers...gosh I don't even know who they were. They just came out of nowhere!
The glory of it all is that they were much more important than us and much older and wiser, and they were just there to serve us. They waited patiently for us to tell them what to do next, and did wholeheartedly and did it well. We didn't have to freak out about a kid trying to play with something, or a kid dropping something, or a kid completely misunderstanding what we had just explained, or anything. We just asked and it was done. I barely lifted a finger. The only thing I did was direct and show, roll cords, and put the projectors away. HALLELUIJAH ! It was so nice. However I did reaaaally struggle with it at first. Culturally, i twas SO out of my comfort zone to be telling an OLDER MAN what do do. It felt extremely weird, but I had to remind myself that I am not home, and these men didn't mind because they were there to serve us.
I don't think this was a Christian school or anything, in fact I'm pretty sure it wasn't. But thèse men really exemplified Christ in their willingness and behavior and I was quite encouraged by that.

This school was also a first timer for us Camfel Techs. There is always so much pressure when we go to a school and it's their first time hiring us cus I feel like if anything goes wrong and they decide not to hire us again the following year, it'll be our fault. But this principal LOOOOVED us. He couldn't stop thanking us and even hugged us goodbye at the end. He was amazed by it. And we couldn't have done without our Father who provides us with all the Tools necessary to présent a good show.

So anyway, that was our glorious Friday. We've been in Manhattan, KS all weekend. Our motel is right accross from a mall, best buy, Olive garden, there's a Wal-Mart at walking distance, a Hastings bookstore with a heavenly coffee shop that makes epic mocha frappucinos, and there are a couple of restaurants surrounding us. Our motel has a very friendly staff. Excellent breakfast. Internet. Microwave. Fridge. I mean thats all we ask for !

As I've said before, the weekend was extremely relaxing. I spent some solid time at the bookstore Hastings and wanted to buy so many different books! BUT I settled for one called "No Wonder they call Him Savior" by none other than the Wise Max Lucado ! I've gone to wal-mart a couple times. I've also gone to the mall more than I shouldve :/ (you can't blame me after all this time away from civiliztion !). I've done a lot of Chuck watching (gotta catch up before tomorrow !!!). I've communicated with different friends. We went to Church this morning (I have a whole other page that will be dedicated to that if you are interested in Reading about it). We went to a comedy show last night. And I pretty much just relaxed a lot.
Another week begins tomorrow. I am excited to see what God has in store !!
Muchos gracias bros, sis, and friends !

Dorina

Big school. Scary!!

2010-09-16T08:21:00.000-07:00

Sept 16th

Well well well. Did you realize how much of a humor God has ?? Ive always known and I definitely realized it tonight.

Remember how I was telling you all yesterday about how I was discouraged with smaller schooler schools because I dont get as much of an audience réaction and it doesnt feel like they enjoy it as much because of that ?
Well, this morning we ended up going to a school with about 2100 students. YUP. Oh my thank you God for shoving my foot into my mouth. Quite humbling. I take it all back~

So the contrast between a school of 100 students, and a school of 2100 is beyond what my words could be able to express. It was so overwhelming. Our contact person was a very nice man, and he showed us around and walked us all over the campus and I felt like I was in some college (probably because this highschool was much bigger than the college I attended). Once we were told where to setup, we unloaded our things and headed to the huge gym. We had no help, which was fine. As i've said before, sometimes I like that better. And we were setting up while a huge class was having a pre-class meeting, so they were kinda there half paying attention to us and half paying attention to the teacher. We hussled though and got it up in no time. It also looked pretty good.

For the last 15 min, two very nice Young men helped us with speakers, sound check, and cords, and then we waited. I was literally so overwhelmed when the kids stormed in. I felt so tiny compared to the huge mass of children. I tried standing as tall as I could and smile, but that didn't help much. They were walking through our things, and not paying attention, and bumped into our projectors messing some stuff up, and thankfully some profs and the coordinator of the show helped push them away, but it def wasn't an easy task.
Tiffany took it away once they were all seated, and introduced the show. They barely listened to her. Cell phones were out, Ipods were out, kids were talking left and right, some yelling, others laughing, it was insane ! Some cheerleaders would whisper as "not so cool kids" would walk by and they would laugh at them, others were taking pictures of each other, couples were snuggling, while you could clearly point out different cliques throughout the crowd. Out of control is what they were.

So we played the vidéo and I honestly wondered if anyone got anything out of it. I was frustrated, especially at a point in our vidéo where the narrator talks about how sometimes its easy to turn to drugs and alcohol when things dont go our way or we feel depressed (and obviously he continued on by discouraging it), but as soon as the kids heard drugs and alcohol, they all cheered. I was like. Oh my Goodness ! I couldn't believe it. SO after much obnoxiousness, the show ended, and it was time for me to conclude, I was shaking due to my fear of public speaking, and having to do it in front of so many pairs of eyes. Oh my. But I prayed and said, God just take it away. And I think I did fine, I might've stumbled on my words a bit at one point, but the kids were probably so tired that they actually listened to me and contained themselves from their previous behavior, which was very nice.

So anywho such was my Thursday expérience. Thankfully, the principal and coordinator were very pleased and it being their first time having a Camfel show, I was afraid of the results, but they seemed to turn out well for the most part. So Praise God for that !
I even had kids at the end thank me and say it was really good, so as I've said before, even if the show helps out ONE child, its all Worth it !
We left Olathe and are now in Manhattan, KS.
Peace out,
Do

Haviland Break

2010-09-15T23:34:00.000-07:00

Sept 15th

So, I just filled a whole journal entry, and it got deleted as I tried uploading it :(

Here I go again.

I am currently in an extremely small town in Kansas called Haviland. It was sort of kind of on the way to our next school and since Tiff went to college here, she was hoping we could stop by so she could see some old friends. So while she is catching up with them, and old profs, and kids she used to work with, I am sitting in a cute little coffe shop updating you on my life :)

I haven't really written much in the past couple of days, mainly cus nothing to exciting has happened. But I figured this change of scenery (not really, we are still in the middle of nowhere surrounded by fields and the smell of cow poop haha) was worth sharing.

So we've created a little routine over the past 3 days. Since we stayed in the same place for longer than a night, we were able to do so. We were at a cute little bed and breakfast in Scott city, KS. We would wake up, get ready, have breakfast, and head to our school. After setting up and tearing down our shows, we'd head back to "our place." Talk on the phone to friends and family. While I watch Chuck, she would facebook chat. Read a bit. Take a walk. Get on the phone again. This would go on till bedtime and we'd wake up and start all over.

We've had 5 shows in the past 3 days and they all went pretty well. We had our very first elementary presentation today and it was so good. I loved watching the excitement on the kids' faces from beginning to end of the show.
Ah little kids are so precious, and innocent, and most of them aren't corrupted yet from this world. How refreshing are they!?

I've been a bit discouraged for the past couple days because we've been showing these presentations to small schools and the kids haven't seemed as excited or "into it" as I would hope they were. This doesn't make sense to me, I had assumed that these presentations would be such a big hit in small towns. I assumed this because most small towns don't really have movie theatres anywhere near, and since we are essentially setting up a movie theatre in their schools to show this film, I figured they'd be super impressed and excited.
It gets discouraging especially at the end when I get up and ask all excitedly "Sooo did you guys like it??" and they hesitantly respond "yeaaah" almost as if they are forced to resond that way.
And my immediate thought is "Ok, wow, so we just drove a ton, woke up super early, spent 1h30 setting this up, and this is what we get?"
Then God tells me "just trust me!" And I am reminded that if everything we do even affects or changes ONE child all year, it is totally worht it. Also even if the majority of the kids didn't care, some that were affected by the message, might be embarrassed to express it, and that's ok.
We are God's messengers and as long as we do our job right with enthusiasm and love, God will do the rest.

I've also been very moody and no fun to be around. Espeically on monday, I was tired and had had no sleep the night before and was just very grumpy. God reminds me to keep seeking His word and not to let my human nature control me but instead to let His spirit fill me with love, peace, joy, patience, gentleness, and kindness. So I am still working on that.

Last night, my french technology classes in middle school finally paid off. I was able to repair a microphone that had quit working on us. ha. I was quite proud of myself. It also worked out perfectly earlier today when I had to call my boss to tell him I had forgotten a projector cord at the school we were at yesterday. This way, I was able to give him a "good nrews/bad news" phone call instead of just a "Hey by the way, I'm an airhead and forgot a really important cord at another school." :)

I love this job, I love the traveling and moving around and whatnot but I must admit it's getting harder and harder without a stable community.

I guess God prepared me for that during my time in Colorado, where I lacked the community I've always had growing up (whether in Dakar, or when we would come to the US with my family, or the amazing community I had in Huntington through the 509 that I miss dearly.)
Nonetheless, it's still difficult. Thankfully, the Camfel technicians have created quite a community through the distance. We all bonded pretty well during training and we've been able to stay in touch through each other's blogs, or facebook, or even our cellphones, which has been a blessing. It's nice to be able to talk to others who know exactly what you are going through whether it's sharing how well a show went, or little technical difficulties that happened, or whether we are sharing people we've run into or places we've seen, expressing hard times we go through, and some of us (not me) were able to meet significant others through this job, so hearing about the involvments of that is quite exciting. So that's been quite a blessing.
For example, yesterday morning my friend texted me saying she was feeling really lonely and asking me to pray for her because she was feeling that same lack of community I've been feeling and I prayed for her and texted her words of encouragement in response. A couple hours later, she texted me saying 'Praise God ! We met some folks at a church and are sitting with them at Chick-Fil-Et and am just having a great time of fellowship with them ! So things like that are quite encouraging.

Also, Ive been quite homesick through all of this traveling, mainly because all the driving around the US reminds me of when my folks, siblings, and I would travel around the US during our furlow years. Those were good times, times that definitely created quite a unique bond between my siblings and I haha. I miss them terribly.
Also setting up shows in these small schools these past couple of days has reminded me of my highschool. :( I miss that type of community where every one knows each other and supports each other. Granted back in those days, I would get frustrated due to the fact that everyone was in everyone else's business. :) But looking back, I miss it all.
I miss middleschool, highschool, and college. SO MUCH. I miss going to classes, Learning new things. Getting dressed up and looking cute just because. Going to soccer practice afterwards. Hanging out with friends super late doing dumb things and laughing like crazy. I pretty much miss creating memories with a large group of friends and loved ones. BUT such are the sacrifices one must make for this job, which I repeatI I love despite it all.

Well we have a show in a bigger school tomorrow morning, so it should be a nice change.

Thanks for Reading this. I miss you guys and hope your life is filled with awesomeness.

I send you God's abundant blessings from above, along with my love. (yup that rhymed).

Xoxo

DJO

God uses strangers

2010-09-12T23:30:00.000-07:00

September 12th

Ok....so remember how in yesterday's journal entry I talked about the randomness of our staying in this small town called Limon.
Well...it gets better. Apparently, Tiffany had a prospective student stay with her one weekend at her college who is FROM there!! Sadly enough she is still in college, so we didn't get to see her. BUT after finding that out, Tiffany texted her to ask if she knew of a good church we coud go to. Well it turns out that her father is the pastor at one of the churches in Limon, so she suggested we go there. Also that same weekend she met this girl, Tiffany had had a great hour or so long conversation with this man.
Funny enough, she had just told me on our way to our search for internet on friday about this man of God, whom she'd had a great conversation with, and whom she could tell was filled with the Holy Spirit because of the way He spoke and his gentle spirit.

So, how's that for a "coincidence" huh? I feel like this journey will bring a lot of these so called coincidences, which in my honest opinion are NOT coincidences at all, even though a lot of people would beg to differ.

So this morning, we checked out of our Safari Inn, and headed to Church which was 2 blocks away. We entered one of the smallest churches I've ever been to (keep in mind i've been to a ton, with my parents being missionaries and all ya know?), and we were welcomed so warmly!

People just gravitated to us, shook our hands, asked for our names, welcomed us etc....

Pastor Bill (Tiff's friends father) came and hugged us and was so excited to see TIffany, even though they'd only met once. He also asked us to stay after the service so he could take us out to lunch.

The service was long but good. It reminded me of the 509, which I miss terribly. So after the service, we waited and I totally felt the way I used to feel when I would wait hours and hours after church in Senegal for my dad to stop talking to the world so we could quiet down our belly grumbling and go home haha.
Nonetheless, while waiting we got to meet pretty much every one that was at the service and talk a bit with them. We were treated like family.

Lunch was excellent. I got to talk to the pastor's son about Huntington University because he is interested in pursuing film and just graduated from highschool. I also got to talk to the pastor's wife who was sitting next to me, and the best was sitting next to an older lady and talking to her. We had similar lives between both of our fathers being pastors at one point, and never having a true home base, and having traveled a lot.
She knew about my job and knew I had lived in Indiana for college, but eventually straight up asked me where I was from.
Honestly, a lot of times, I find ways to avoid answering this question with accuracy by saying "I went to college in Indiana and it became a home to me" or "I lived in Colorado before starting this job" or "I guess my home base in the US is North Carolina." Most times I'd rather give such simple answers in order to avoid the long story of where I was born, where each of my parents are from, what they do there, how they met, etc etc etc...
I've repeated this story SO many times, that sometimes I just don't want to deal with it.
However, when this lady asked, her sincere interest intrigued me so I just gave it all away. From start to finish, left to right, talked about mom, dad, nabrissa, ianis, me. I didn't give every little detail but she got a solid summary of it all:)

At the end of it, she was in awe. She was just so excited about it all. She proceeded to tell everyone at the table I was from Senegal, and kept telling me how much of a blessing it was for me to have shared all of that with her.

So, God taught me to get over myself, and use this exciting life story He's blessed me with to bless others by just sharing it. It's not hard, and it's who I am so there is no sense in hiding it just out of pure laziness.

Lesson learned.

A couple hours later, after saying our goodbyes to everyone except for Pastor Bill, (but including his wife who knew her husband well enough to know that he wasn't anywhere near ready to go home), we had great chat with him.

He shared how excited he was for what God had in store for us, and how we were going to be blessings to many. He looked deep into my eyes and kept repeating, do you know how great of a plan God has for YOU? I bet you have an idea but don't even realize how great it is. He said I was amazing because I didn't give God any limits and was absolutely open to whatever God had in store for me. He spoke to me as if he'd known me for years, and at that moment I knew God was speaking through him and what a humbling experience.. He talked about how we are on an assignment from God and how special we are because we are taking it seriously and are committed to fulfilling this mission. He also looked at me and said I needed to be patient for what God had in store for me. I said I'd finally come to a point where I accepted to wait, where as before I was just ready to go. He goes "well that's because you have a lot of zoom in you, but you've gotten to this point in your life through hard times, that didn't have to be so hard but that's the way they happened and they interconnected in your life in a way that you've come to be where you're at and think the way you think, and truly count on God and have peace about where He's leading you. and I can tell that, but honestly obedience is far better than sacrifice. In fact it is better to seek after God's heart then to attempt to do things that need to be done."

There are so many great things he shared with Tiffany and I, and he prayed for us at the end of our conversation and I could just feel the Holy Spirit speaking through Him!
At the end of the prayer he asked God to "give us joy through our journey as our hands are placed in His and He guides us to where we need to go and who we need to meet."
THis man I met this morning, and He was able to speak straight to my heart.

I can't even express how I felt after this surprise from God. A solid time of fellowship with strangers that are just united through the body of Christ.

Now how amazing is that?

I keep thinking that God is going to send me to dark places where I can minister to people forgetting that along the way He has a plan for me to keep being ministered and encouraged through other believers.

The church was called Oasis of Life and I truly felt refreshed after leaving it and its people.

I thank God for this morning. I also thank Him for safe travels He provided Tiff and I with.

We arrived in Scott city, KS to a cute cottage.

We will be here for 3 days and have already made ourselves at home :)

The family who owns this cottage is very sweet and are making themselves available to us in any way. THey were however having drama right outside our cottage. Their former employe for another business they have just recently got fired and came here to complain. This lady made a huge scence, and the owner of the cottage felt so so bad. She apologized to me 100 times. I kept telling her that TIff and I were some of the most laid back people and we didn't care, and it didn't affect how much we love this place, and that she didn't have to worry about us on top of worrying about what was going on already, and that things happen and people are people, and we understand...etc.....
I must admit, the yelling was pretty intense!
After a while, I prayed for the situation to be resolved in peace, and for God to put His hand over these people whether they believed in Him or not and 3 minutes after praying, the fight was over and the complaining lady drove away.

:)

Anywho, we have a 45 min drive tomorrow morning at 6am (well 7am cus both towns have diff time zones to our advantage) and will have a show in Tribune, KS.

Hopefully God will use us and the video tomorrow to encourage kids and hopefully make a difference in their lives. As pastor Bill said earlier, we are different because we set up these presentations out of love and care, and the kids can tell, where as some people would just do it for the excitement of traveling or just to have a job, in which case they would go to the school, set up, maybe talk to kids out of necessity, tear down, and peace out.

Well...it's about that sleepy time. Thanks for joining me on my journey. Be blessed and feel free to leave comments or share encouraging stories in return.

in Him alone, DJO