Sex and the City 2

So the movie "Sex and the City 2" inspired me to write this blog entry. *chuckles*

I was having trouble sleeping last night as my thoughts were flooded with various wedding ideas that I couldn't link up in any concrete manner. Thoughts such as "How in the world are we going to incorporate French, Senegalese, African American, Cape Verdian, West Indian, and Hipster cultures all in one event?" or "How many bridesmaids do I really need to accompany me throughout this journey?" or "who will pastor us and which Church will we get married in?" or "are we even getting married in a church?" and so on and so forth.

Funny thing is that I am over thinking this special day coming up (which we still haven't decided upon a date) while forgetting what really matters.

In Sex and the City 2, the main character (Carrie) is attempting to figure out what type of marriage she wants her and her husband (Preston) to have. She doesn't want to follow tradition, but wants what works best for the two of them. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all figure that out? They decide they don't want any children, but then the fear of "getting bored" and loosing their "spark" and growing into a "uninteresting old couple" slowly creeps in as she is focusing on the routine they are creating rather than appreciating the beautiful relationship and marriage that they already have.

Oddly enough, I was able to associate this plot to my previous blog entry titled "Now What!?" 

Carrie and Preston became one of those couples who struggled with this social norm of starting a family after reaching the "marriage" part of life's many pressuring questions.

They know what they want, yet are conflicted between that and what everyone else's opinion about marriage is. This sadly leads to confusion and discontentment.

Of course, we're talking about an American movie here so in this story, we have a happy ending.

In real life, however, these types of struggles can easily tear up a marriage. If one leaves enough room for the doubt to settle in, it can only be the beginning of a downward spiral. People begin second guessing and wondering whether they made the right choice marrying this person and if they should've married someone else instead, and this doubt can start quickly staining relationships. Without the right stain remover, couples can easily decide to throw it all out in a heart beat.

I am obviously no marriage professional since I'm not married yet, but I will say that I'm quite observant and am basing these conclusions on my various observations.

Jeremy and I are so similar yet so different. In a cheesy way, we definitely do complete each other. He's an African American from a big city (Columbus, Ohio) who ended up in a small mennonite town in Indiana.

I'm a TCK (third culture kid) also from a big city (Dakar, Senegal) who ended up in Huntington, IN. 

Now instead of focusing on how to incorporate all of these cultures into one event, as I had mentioned earlier, I am attempting to focus on continuing to interweave all of these cultures into one big lifestyle. We have figured some of it out so far, but have so much more to figure out and I guess this film just reminded me to keep fighting to do so. 

We need to continue to pull all of our energy on the rest of our lives and figuring out what will work best for us as opposed to what's worked best for others. 

The big day is just the symbol/celebration that allows us to officially start this journey together, and I'm hoping to not let that distract us from preparing ourselves for the big life God has planned ahead of us.

{I'm not sharing any kind of fresh, profound, unrevealed information; I am simply sharing my thoughts (and Godly reminders) throughout this process.}

A lot of people do not understand why/how we've been able to do this long distance relationship. The truth of the matter is that we don't really have much of a choice, and because of that, we attempt to focus on the pros rather than letting the cons discourage us. The way I see it, is that it's the only thing that makes sense right now, or at all for that matter. If we had ever decided to break up because the distance was too difficult to bear, it wouldn't have changed how much we missed each other or wanted to be together. Heck I can't picture myself with anyone else so breaking up due to a simple matter of proximity wouldn't change the fact that I still want to be with this one man.

Anything good is worth fighting for. Our distance is allowing us to better understand ourselves as individuals and each other through communication. Long distance relationships have been done before, and will be done again but simply aren't right for everybody. This is a fact. They had never worked out for me in the past and right when I decided to officially give up on them, this boy came back in my life and that was it. This long distance relationship is actually easier than any "normal" relationship I've ever had. It's the only thing that makes sense. Time doesn't matter, because when we are reunited, life is wonderful.

All of this to say that I'm excited to figure out life with this man. We have a mixture of cultures, personalities, dreams, and aspirations that are united and sealed by God's love. Because we are so different, we have so much to put on the table, and I have a feeling this table is going to be quite the feast.

I'm hoping we can continue to grow individually and prepare ourselves emotionally and mentally so that we can master a marriage of our own without allowing doubt, and second guessing to hinder our union. 

I'm sure doubt will take place, when does it not in a relationship? But I'm hoping and trusting that our past and present experiences will continue to better our future ones.