I hope you are doing wonderfully :) If not. I pray that God may uplift your spirits.
Well...this entry will be filled with random thoughts. Who knows maybe I will find a way to connect everything. But don't hold your breath on that. hehe.
So this week has been going by waayyy slower than last week. I guess last week we had 2 days of driving and the 3 days after were filled with things to look forward to (my bday, getting paid, and getting a package.)
This week...not so much. Our weeks are getting busier to. You'd think that it'd allow the week to go by faster, but for some reason I feel like this week is neverending. I am not quite sure why. :/
Well yesterday was a good day. We had an afternoon show and the school was very nice. The contact people helped us and a couple kids helped as well. The contact people were very open with us. Telling us all about themselves and the drama they go through and cussing in front of us haha. It feels good to have people feel that comfortable around you. The kids that stood out to me were the two "geeks" as they called themselves.
They weren't really geeks in my opinion. Actually if they are geeks, than I am to. They were just extremely passionate about media and kept asking us detailed questions about how we ran everything, which cables we used, which ones went where and how it all worked out. It was funny.
Another kid that stood out to me was this socially off kid with his buttcrack hanging out the whole time and an intense lisp to go along with it. He was such a sweetheart though.
At the end of everything, while Tiffany and I were talking to the contact people that had helped us, I noticed this kid walking home from all the way accross the lawn. So I asked our contact people his name, and when they gave it to me, I yelled "THANKS FOR HELPING US TODAY ARNOLD!!!!!" and a huge grin appeared on his face as he waved and say "no problem!"
Our contact lady told us that him helping us had made his entire year. He was so excited to help out and it just made me smile inside!!
We headed to another town about 3 hours away from this school after that, and we drove through a town we'd stayed at a couple weeks ago. This town had the best coffee shop, so we stopped and i knew exactly which drink I was going to get. I was SO excited!! It was delicious.
Since I didn't want to sleep in the car like I usually do, I decided to bust out my junior year from college journal. Wow. What an emotional trip that was to read it.
I guess I went through quite some tough times that year. I teared up reading what I had gone through. Many many hardships, but it was AMAZING to see how I clung on to the Lord and be reminded of the thigns he'd revealed to me in the midst of all that hardship.
Some day when I feel like writing on here but have no idea what to write, I'll bust out an entry from this journal to encourage you guys. The Holy Spirit gave me some good stuff that year.
IN fact here's a little something that I want to share. I was praying one morning and I was telling God how much I despised myself and he asked me to write down the words that came to mind whenever I thought of myself. So I wrote down really negative things. Then, in His gentle soft voice, He whispered the way he viewed me. They were all beautiful things.
4 months later, I worked at a Christian camp, and our staff director had us to a mini exercise where we should write down the way we used to view ourselves, and to write down the way we now viewed ourselves, and then to have each of us write down an attribute we admired from the other. So here are the things I wrote down:
Old self:
worthless, loud, obnixious, talkative (empty words), proud, sinful and dirty, disorganized and confused, judgemental, gossip, rebellious, not worthy of being loved, agnry and bitter, annoying.
God's view of me:
beauty, strength, heart of genuine kindness, passion inside waiting to burst out, love, perseverance.
New me:
encourager, open-minded, people lover, strong soul, gift, joy, inside beauty, listening ear, wisdom, confidence, comforter, bright light,
what others wrote about me:
lots of heart, humble attitude, friend, difference maker, always looking for something to serve Him with, Joy, beautiful warrior, on fire, foundation, awesome open heart.
WOW.
How amazing is that difference. between the first paragraph and the second.
Col 3:10 "Put on your new nature and be renewed as you learn to know your Creator and become like him."
Now, don't get me wrong. I still have MANY ways to go. many many. we all do. But my point here is to focus on the positive. Focus on the good. Let's stop dwelling on the past and what we once were. Or even focus on the faults that we have or the mistakes we make. or the mistakes others make. yes we are human, and yes we wil stumble and fall, but isn't God amazing and isn't he a God of grace? If he is able to have mercy upon, shouldn't we give ourselves a bit of mercy.
I was talking with a friend of mine and we talked about this the other day. How satan wants us to live in the past, or stress about the futur. he wants us to think we are still those old selves we were. or he wants to think we are absolutely worthless for the Kingdom of God. He allows our fear of failure to keep us from doing anything. When I make a mistake (which happens very often), I immediately want to give up and say "i'm never gonna be like Christ, what's the point?" The point is the fact that God will not forsake us no matter what. He sees our heart and that's all that matters to HIm. The mere fact that we are trying to attain this goal that seems unattainable, is enough. His mercy is enough. His grace is enough. Praise Him for that.
Don't fall into satan's trap. Don't live in the past. You have become a new creation through the blood of Christ and nothing can change that no matter how much you stumble and fall!
Romans 6:6 "We know that our old selves were crucified with Christ so thtsin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin. For when we died with Christ, we were set free from the power of sin. "
Amen to that!
I didn't realize I was going to write this much about this, but oh well there ya have it :)
This morning, I prayed to God that I would be a bright light to whomever I interacted with. That I would be a breath of fresh air for His kingdom and His glory. This prayer reminded me of a prayer from my journal that I had read yesterday:
Thank you for this day.
Fill it in every way.
Let my words be kind and few.
So I may have your wisdom in view.
Let my heart be filled with love and humility so that I may fill your kingdom with glory and
Let my thought be pure and true
and may all the glory be returned to you.
After praying this, I checked my email and had a really encouraging email from a close friend. He shared a link with me and Megan and asked us to read us. He then wrote each of us very encouraging words. He told me to be a bright light today and dance at some point today, even if it's just in my head. :)
I followed his advice. I don't know if I was a bright light or breath of fresh air to anyone, but I sure do hope I was.
Today, after our show, a girl walked up to me and after stumbling on her words finally let it out. She expressed how much she loved the video because she is different from anyone else. She said that due to happenings in her past, she has brain damage, and is now very different from everyone and treated that way.
I told her I hoped with all of my heart that people would see beauty in that difference. She smiled and said "I don't know, but my outlet is art. I'm really good at it."
I told her to hold on to that and said "I encourage you to give it your all and not to let anyone define you but yourself."
I should've told her I'd pray for her, but my mind was distracted between what to tell her, and a group of kids wanting to talk to me right next to her.
I'm proud of myself for giving her full attention though, because usually it's very easy for me to get distracted, especially since we were in the middle of tearing down. I hope I was able to encourage her. I know for sure the video encouraged her and I am so glad about that.
Once again, if our video can make a change in ONE child's life. It's all worth it!!
So that was our day.
We are now in Salina, KS. 40 minutes away from tomorrow morning's school. Tomorrow will be semi long. Our show is at 9. Meaning we'll need to be there around 7. Meaning the latest we can leave is 6:30. Meaning we have to wake up around 5:45. eeeek.
After that, we have about 8 hours to drive to head to Arkensas, which is where we'll be for the weekend.
Joy.
On my way to this Mcdonald's to type all of this out (because I can't blog unless I go somewhere...weird.), I ran into a mall. BAD NEWS. I just got back from a mini shopping spree. Oh boy.
I'm really blessed with deals. always. in fact my friends get very jealous of me because of that. I got 4 pairs of shoes tonight and the total was under $34. Also got a new jacket/coat for $14. And I bought a new polo shirt, cus the ones we were for work are getting real old real fast.
So yup. I'm happy with that :)
Still no news on the thanksgiving trip but I will keep you all posted for sure.
Oh and my ipod is still DEAD. sad day.
Thanks again for reading (Mom, Anne, and Debra) :D and everyone else!!!!
much love,
DJO
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