OOoOk,
I would LOVE to share this devotional that God sent directly to me from His Holy Spirit from the book "A daily journey of Faith"
None of these words are mine, but they encouraged me and hopefully will encourage YOU with whatever you are going through!
Blessings,
DJO
Because you have the ability to think, you also have the ability to worry. Even if you're a faithful Christian, you may be plagued by occasional periods of discouragement and doubt. Even though you trust GOd's promise of salvation and even though you sincerely believe in God's love and protection, you may find yourself upset by the countless details of everyday life. Jesus understood your concerns when He spoke the reassuring words found in the 6th Chapter of Matthew.
"There I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clohing? Look at birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are ou not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?.....Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about is own things, SUfficient for the day is its own troube. (25-27, 34)
Where is the best place to take your worries? Take them to God. Take your TROUBLES to Him; take your WEAKNESSES to Him; take your FEARS to Him; take your SORROWS to Him...and leave them all there. Seek protection from the One who offers you eternal salvation; build your spiritual house upon the Rock that cannot be moved.
Perhaps you are concerned about your future, your relationships, or your finances (yes all of the above!!). Or perhaps you are simply a "worrier" by nature. If so, choose to make Matthew 6 a regular part of your daily Bible reading. This beautiful passage will remind you that God still sits in His heaen and you are His beloved child. Then, perhaps, you will worry a little less and trust GOd a little more, and that's as it should be because God is trustworthy...and you are protected.
In the game of life, you win some and you lose some. Life is risky business; you live in an uncertain world, a world in which trouble may come calling at any moment. No wonder you may find yourself feeling a little panicky at times
DO you sometimes spend more time worrying about a problem than you do solving it? If so, remember this strategy for dealing with your worries: take them to God. Take your troubles to Him, take your fears to Him, take your doubts to Him, take your weaknesses to Him, take your sorrows to Him...and leave then all there. Period.
God is the Rock that cannot be moved. WHen you build your life upon that Rock, you have absolutely no need to worry...not now, not ever.
If you are worried about the futur, stop worrying and start working. The more time you spend working, the less time you'll have to spend worrying. Don't fret about your problems; fix them!
(Here are some verses and quotes that were attached to this devotional that I specifically appreciated.)
"Worry is the senseless process of cluttering up tomorrow's opportunities with leftover problems from today." ( Barbara Johnson)
"It has been said that no man ever sank under the burden of the day. It is when tomorrow's burden is added to the burden of today that the weight is more than a man can bear. Never load yourselves so, my friends. If you find yourselves so loaded, at least remember this: It is your own doing, not God's. He begs you to leav ethe future to Him and mind the present." ( George MacDonald)
"Never yield to gloomy aniticpaion. Place your hope and confidence in the Lord. He has NO record of failure." (Mrs. Charles E. Cowm)
"He treats us as sons (and daughters) and all that He asks in return is that we treat Him as a Father whom we can trust without anxiety. We must take the son's palce aof dependance and trust, and we must let Him keep the father's palce of care and responsibility." (Hannah Whitall Smith)
Psalm 94:19
I was very worried, but you comforted me...
Proverbs 12:25
An anxious heart weighs a man down
Phil 4: 6-7
Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your conerns,, Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down, It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life."
John 14:1
"Jesus said, "Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust in me."
Matth 7: 7-8
Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Kee pn seekingm and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.
My new year's resolution for 2011 is that wherever I am, I will celebrate more and worry less. When my faith begins to waver, hopefully I will trust Him more. Then, with praise on my lips and the love of Christ in my heart, I will live courageously, faithfully, prayerfully, and thankfully today and everyday. AMEN.
Happy New Year folks!!!
About Me
- DorinaJuliaOliveira
- Saint Malo, Bretagne, France
- For those of you who know me there isn't a whole lot to say other than the fact that I am a crazy, weird, laid back, energetic ball of life who lives by the moment. I've got my share of ups and downs and an adventurous life of traveling. I hope to share some of this journey with you all as I try wrestling through questions and situations about who I am, what my purpose is, and my relationship with the Lord. Feel free to comment! Good or bad :)
Friday, December 31, 2010
Happy New YEar
Dear friend or familly member, :)
HAPPYNEWYEAR
It's the very last day of the year 2010 and it doesn't feel like it whatsoever! I am in Aurora, CO staying at Lysiane's apartment.
Pardon me if I don't make much sense, I JUST woke up and I usually am not all there right when I arise :) (especially when it's against my will). :)
Alright so you must be wondering how I am doing and what's going on through my head and heart.
Well to put it in very simple words....I have no idea how I am doing! Yea sorry...not what you were hoping for. But it's true.
Almost a month has gone by and I've come to a point where my situation is almost non existant. I sometimes forget about it. I don't know if that's a curse or a blessing, but it is what it is.
Last time I wrote you all, I had asked for specific prayer for my trip to Colorado, and I just want to thank each and everyone of you that was able to do so because I truly and consistently felt God's angels surrounding the car for the entirety of the trip.
It started out extremely scary because I left around 5 in the morning and not only was it raining with a crazy intensity but it was also foggy AND there was traffic...go figure...and as we all know California drivers aren't the best :p SO my trip started out filled with fear, but I prayed and said "God, you and I both know that I am not a very good driver, so just take control of the wheel." and though I had some very scary moments and lost over two hours between getting lost, gas, listening to my gps over my instinct, and the terrible weather conditions, I felt like I was never going to make it, but God never fails, and that's the truth. AMEN.
So I got here after 19 hours of driving and a few breaks here and there, the next day I got sick. Boooooo. I was so bummed about that. Lysiane had to work so I didn't have much to do other than catch up on sleep, which you better believe I did!!!
Christmas eve, Lysiane and I went to church with her family and then went to the Wildlife Experiment where they had Christmas lights and we could write letters to Santa. I asked Santa for a job. :)
We then looked at houses that had the most amazing Christmas lights and decorations I'd ever seen and ended the night at Lylie's dad's house eating crepes and just enjoying each other's company.
Being out in the cold for so long while already being sick wasn't the brightest idea on my part. I woke up on Christmas day feeling just as bad, if not worse, We figured out that the room in which I was staying's vents were closed for the first couple of days and that's why I was so cold and got sick so quickly.
Well Christmas morning, before heading to Lysiane's parents for gifts, joy, and food :) I decided to foolishly swallow 5 pills to get rid of my cold once and for all. I repeat FOOLISHLY! I also did this on an empty stomach. I know better, and I've never done that, but it was Christmas day for crying out loud. I just wanted to fully enjoy it!
Well the opposite happened. Not only was I still sick (felt a little better throat and symptom wise), but I had the absolute worst stomach ache for the entirety of Christmas day. It was awful.
It didn't keep me from enjoying the day, but it just didn't feel like Christmas nonetheless. I am not sure why, I think a lot of different things may have joined forces to make me feel that way, but overall a good day nonetheless.
Here are a few pictures:
I'm still a little sick, but getting over it and ready to start a new year nice and FRESH!!!
So concerning my situation...I guess I'll update you with the new "foundings."
Well for one, I was able to find out that the government does give me 60 days after my permit expires (it expires on the 2nd of January) before I must leave.
I spoke to a very nice immigration lawyer, who was able to confirm this fact to me but also confirm what my father had found online, which is the fact that IF I do find a job, which would be called a "specialty job" meaning it would have to be a job that someone with my qualifications or hopefully higher would be required to hire me based on the qualifications and skills that I have.
It basically means I can't just go to starbucks and look for a job.
Once and if I find a specialty kind of job (photography, videography, broadcasting, commercials, etc...), my futur potential employer would have to petition so I can aquire an H1B visa. Basically an actual working visa. This visa would allow me to stay in the US for up to 6 years depending on what the government would decide. I would also do my share of work by asking for a change of status as this is all going on.
So, this brings in a whole lot of pressure, because the lawyer was advising me to find a job before february due to the government started to hand out H1B visas in October and them running out of them very fast. They only have a certain amount that they give out each year.
Another reason this puts a lot of pressure on me, is because a specialty job is basically an employer telling the governement "listen, this foreigner has all the qualifications our company needs, and stomps any other regular American citizen, so we want HER, can you make her stay because we need HER."
Do you see what I mean??? I mean I have passions, and I wouldn't call myself insecure, I mean I'm good at my passions, but I'm just saying I'm not THAT good, that a company would fight to have me stay over just any regular person.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO....all of this to say....there's the situation I'm at. I decided to continue to look for jobs anywhere and everywhere, including the US, and depeding on what I find, maybe God's will will be more clear.
I just know I can't sit around and do nothing and wait for something to happen, as I so often do :(
Another situation in my life, that I realized just a couple of days ago, which I need YOU to pray HARD for PLEASE!!
I just realized that the driver's license they gave me was one that would go until my working permit expired because they didn't want to give me a driver's license for longer than the proof they had of how long I were to stay in the US.
At the time, when I got my license and they explained it to me, I told them I completely understood, and wasn't worried about it because at the time I believe my job was going to renew my papers for me.
Well, after this little curve ball was thrown my way, it's added 101 problems to my life. I guess depending on the perspective they could be problems or blessings.
Either way, after the 2nd of january, I will no longer have a valid driver's license, nor will I be able to renew it :(
There are many other details with the car that I'd rather not go into, but please pray for those as well.
SIGH
I think I hit a little wall in this journey, where I feel like I'm at a dead end. I mean as Christians, we have faith and trust and believe but that human fear is still creeping around the shadows pushing me to want to give up, although I wasn't given the spirit of a quitter, as one of you strongly encouraged me and reminded me the other day.
Year 2010 honestly brought me more challenges than joys overall. From beginning to end. I must say, it was a hard year. Definitely not the best, but I did do a LOT of growing, which usually happens through challenges, and I did meet quite some amazing folks along the way, so I am very grateful.
YEAR 2011 holds much more mystery to me than any other year has in my life! I literally could be in any country for within the next 2 months, OR I could still be here. Who knows! ONly GOd. And He is what I count on holding on to in order to start new and fresh.
Thank you soooo much for your precious time.
I hope you have all had an amaaazzziiiiinnnnng Christmas day to celebrate with friends and family, and I hope you each dance a little (At home, in public, in your own privacy, just you and God) to celebrate a NEW BEGINNING!!
BLESSINGS TO YOU ALL!!!
love, DJO
HAPPYNEWYEAR
It's the very last day of the year 2010 and it doesn't feel like it whatsoever! I am in Aurora, CO staying at Lysiane's apartment.
Pardon me if I don't make much sense, I JUST woke up and I usually am not all there right when I arise :) (especially when it's against my will). :)
Alright so you must be wondering how I am doing and what's going on through my head and heart.
Well to put it in very simple words....I have no idea how I am doing! Yea sorry...not what you were hoping for. But it's true.
Almost a month has gone by and I've come to a point where my situation is almost non existant. I sometimes forget about it. I don't know if that's a curse or a blessing, but it is what it is.
Last time I wrote you all, I had asked for specific prayer for my trip to Colorado, and I just want to thank each and everyone of you that was able to do so because I truly and consistently felt God's angels surrounding the car for the entirety of the trip.
It started out extremely scary because I left around 5 in the morning and not only was it raining with a crazy intensity but it was also foggy AND there was traffic...go figure...and as we all know California drivers aren't the best :p SO my trip started out filled with fear, but I prayed and said "God, you and I both know that I am not a very good driver, so just take control of the wheel." and though I had some very scary moments and lost over two hours between getting lost, gas, listening to my gps over my instinct, and the terrible weather conditions, I felt like I was never going to make it, but God never fails, and that's the truth. AMEN.
 |
| Me on the icy/snowy road |
So I got here after 19 hours of driving and a few breaks here and there, the next day I got sick. Boooooo. I was so bummed about that. Lysiane had to work so I didn't have much to do other than catch up on sleep, which you better believe I did!!!
Christmas eve, Lysiane and I went to church with her family and then went to the Wildlife Experiment where they had Christmas lights and we could write letters to Santa. I asked Santa for a job. :)
We then looked at houses that had the most amazing Christmas lights and decorations I'd ever seen and ended the night at Lylie's dad's house eating crepes and just enjoying each other's company.
Being out in the cold for so long while already being sick wasn't the brightest idea on my part. I woke up on Christmas day feeling just as bad, if not worse, We figured out that the room in which I was staying's vents were closed for the first couple of days and that's why I was so cold and got sick so quickly.
Well Christmas morning, before heading to Lysiane's parents for gifts, joy, and food :) I decided to foolishly swallow 5 pills to get rid of my cold once and for all. I repeat FOOLISHLY! I also did this on an empty stomach. I know better, and I've never done that, but it was Christmas day for crying out loud. I just wanted to fully enjoy it!
Well the opposite happened. Not only was I still sick (felt a little better throat and symptom wise), but I had the absolute worst stomach ache for the entirety of Christmas day. It was awful.
It didn't keep me from enjoying the day, but it just didn't feel like Christmas nonetheless. I am not sure why, I think a lot of different things may have joined forces to make me feel that way, but overall a good day nonetheless.
Here are a few pictures:
 |
| A purse I received from Christmas and plan on wearing a LOT! |
 |
| Lysiane's little sister Iyanla :) |
 |
| Christmas Diner |
 |
| Reggie!!!!!! :) |
I'm still a little sick, but getting over it and ready to start a new year nice and FRESH!!!
So concerning my situation...I guess I'll update you with the new "foundings."
Well for one, I was able to find out that the government does give me 60 days after my permit expires (it expires on the 2nd of January) before I must leave.
I spoke to a very nice immigration lawyer, who was able to confirm this fact to me but also confirm what my father had found online, which is the fact that IF I do find a job, which would be called a "specialty job" meaning it would have to be a job that someone with my qualifications or hopefully higher would be required to hire me based on the qualifications and skills that I have.
It basically means I can't just go to starbucks and look for a job.
Once and if I find a specialty kind of job (photography, videography, broadcasting, commercials, etc...), my futur potential employer would have to petition so I can aquire an H1B visa. Basically an actual working visa. This visa would allow me to stay in the US for up to 6 years depending on what the government would decide. I would also do my share of work by asking for a change of status as this is all going on.
So, this brings in a whole lot of pressure, because the lawyer was advising me to find a job before february due to the government started to hand out H1B visas in October and them running out of them very fast. They only have a certain amount that they give out each year.
Another reason this puts a lot of pressure on me, is because a specialty job is basically an employer telling the governement "listen, this foreigner has all the qualifications our company needs, and stomps any other regular American citizen, so we want HER, can you make her stay because we need HER."
Do you see what I mean??? I mean I have passions, and I wouldn't call myself insecure, I mean I'm good at my passions, but I'm just saying I'm not THAT good, that a company would fight to have me stay over just any regular person.
SOOOOOOOOOOOOO....all of this to say....there's the situation I'm at. I decided to continue to look for jobs anywhere and everywhere, including the US, and depeding on what I find, maybe God's will will be more clear.
I just know I can't sit around and do nothing and wait for something to happen, as I so often do :(
Another situation in my life, that I realized just a couple of days ago, which I need YOU to pray HARD for PLEASE!!
I just realized that the driver's license they gave me was one that would go until my working permit expired because they didn't want to give me a driver's license for longer than the proof they had of how long I were to stay in the US.
At the time, when I got my license and they explained it to me, I told them I completely understood, and wasn't worried about it because at the time I believe my job was going to renew my papers for me.
Well, after this little curve ball was thrown my way, it's added 101 problems to my life. I guess depending on the perspective they could be problems or blessings.
Either way, after the 2nd of january, I will no longer have a valid driver's license, nor will I be able to renew it :(
There are many other details with the car that I'd rather not go into, but please pray for those as well.
SIGH
I think I hit a little wall in this journey, where I feel like I'm at a dead end. I mean as Christians, we have faith and trust and believe but that human fear is still creeping around the shadows pushing me to want to give up, although I wasn't given the spirit of a quitter, as one of you strongly encouraged me and reminded me the other day.
Year 2010 honestly brought me more challenges than joys overall. From beginning to end. I must say, it was a hard year. Definitely not the best, but I did do a LOT of growing, which usually happens through challenges, and I did meet quite some amazing folks along the way, so I am very grateful.
YEAR 2011 holds much more mystery to me than any other year has in my life! I literally could be in any country for within the next 2 months, OR I could still be here. Who knows! ONly GOd. And He is what I count on holding on to in order to start new and fresh.
Thank you soooo much for your precious time.
I hope you have all had an amaaazzziiiiinnnnng Christmas day to celebrate with friends and family, and I hope you each dance a little (At home, in public, in your own privacy, just you and God) to celebrate a NEW BEGINNING!!
BLESSINGS TO YOU ALL!!!
love, DJO
Monday, December 20, 2010
Back in California
HI :)
Ok so this might be my shortest entry yet! No promises though...so don't get excited ;p
Ummm I am currently in Diamond Bar, CA. We've been here for a couple of days. (since friday)
I wish I could talk about my wonderful time at the Riverwalk in San Antonio and talk about my last school ever, or about the nice people we met on our 2 day drive back to Cali from Texas, or tell you about my weekend, or more, but I have no time.
I am curretnly at Starbucks because the Camfel apartement has no internet :( I've been here for a while and slacked on the blogging. I then got a phonecall from a great friend who needed an ear and after that I realized it was time to go. Tiffany and I are going to eat at IN n OUT for one last time (well one last time for me). My stomach is complaining so I must listen to it.
I want to update you all on how I've been doing, or what the Lord's been showing me, or what's evolved with my situation but like I said I don't have much time :(
I do however need you all to pray for me. My time with Camfel and California has officially come to an end, as I am waking up extremely early tomorrow morning in order to make my first loner roadtrip. 18 hours to CO. It's been raining here in California since we got here friday night and will continue to rain until wednesday I believe, which is horrible for poor ol' Californians haha.
I am not going to act like I'm not nervous about the trip. As some of you may know, I am a terrible driver and it is supposed to rain/snow (according to where I drive) all day. I've never driven in snow before so that'll be a new one.
PLEASE pray for good weather and protection to on the way tomorrow! That'd be great if I made it there in one piece. :)
I've had a lot of packing to do, was able to pick up my car on saturday, and pick up a few boxes and bins of mine on sunday night. I finally have everything of mine in ONE place :) I am workign towards fitting it all in the car and I believe it will be a success.
In fact, I met a man who doesn't live in the apartments but comes around a couple of times a week to help out his old grandpa and uncle who can't take care of themselves anymore. He saw me in the wet parking lot struggling trying to sort out of all my belongings. THe car was SURROUNDED with bags, and shoes, and clothes, and trash, and suitcases, and bins and...well...basically my whole life and he talked to me for a while and ended up helping me out (not sorting things cus that'd be awkward hehe) but once I was done sorting he brought a bag to goodwill for me, and helped me carry suitcases and things upstairs. At the end of it,we had a long talk and I found out he was a believer. He seemed real interested in my crazy life story and he confessed to feeling like he didn't know much about the world outside of California and I kept encouraging him to look things up, or going out to open up his eyes and I hope I was able to challenge him in some way. In return, at the end of our conversation, he decided to pray for my trip. He thanked God for meeting a new sister in Christ and He just covered my journey, my decisions, and everything in prayer. I felt the Holy Spirit present and it was just a great bonding time.
It's so amazing how so many of us only have one thing in common, our deep love for Christ, and how that alone can make us feel like we've known each other for years the very first time we meet!
I felt so blessed afterwards. I told a friend of mine about it and he told me I had the gift of having people love me without even knowing me and I replied that I felt like God had blessed me with a social gift and that if all I can do is bring light to whoever I meet or run into, then my daily goal is fulfilled!
Unfortunately I fail at that goal a lot, but I still try :)
My coworker, Tiffany actually joined me here at Starbucks, which is why I've been rambling some more :) You thought you could get away with a short entry today huh? Sorrryyyy!! haha Just kidding.
It's been swell. My stomach is still crying out. I hope to come back on here very soon. I'll be in Colorado next time I do.
Merry Christmas everyone, You are loved and thought of!!!
Dorina
Ok so this might be my shortest entry yet! No promises though...so don't get excited ;p
Ummm I am currently in Diamond Bar, CA. We've been here for a couple of days. (since friday)
I wish I could talk about my wonderful time at the Riverwalk in San Antonio and talk about my last school ever, or about the nice people we met on our 2 day drive back to Cali from Texas, or tell you about my weekend, or more, but I have no time.
I am curretnly at Starbucks because the Camfel apartement has no internet :( I've been here for a while and slacked on the blogging. I then got a phonecall from a great friend who needed an ear and after that I realized it was time to go. Tiffany and I are going to eat at IN n OUT for one last time (well one last time for me). My stomach is complaining so I must listen to it.
I want to update you all on how I've been doing, or what the Lord's been showing me, or what's evolved with my situation but like I said I don't have much time :(
I do however need you all to pray for me. My time with Camfel and California has officially come to an end, as I am waking up extremely early tomorrow morning in order to make my first loner roadtrip. 18 hours to CO. It's been raining here in California since we got here friday night and will continue to rain until wednesday I believe, which is horrible for poor ol' Californians haha.
I am not going to act like I'm not nervous about the trip. As some of you may know, I am a terrible driver and it is supposed to rain/snow (according to where I drive) all day. I've never driven in snow before so that'll be a new one.
PLEASE pray for good weather and protection to on the way tomorrow! That'd be great if I made it there in one piece. :)
I've had a lot of packing to do, was able to pick up my car on saturday, and pick up a few boxes and bins of mine on sunday night. I finally have everything of mine in ONE place :) I am workign towards fitting it all in the car and I believe it will be a success.
In fact, I met a man who doesn't live in the apartments but comes around a couple of times a week to help out his old grandpa and uncle who can't take care of themselves anymore. He saw me in the wet parking lot struggling trying to sort out of all my belongings. THe car was SURROUNDED with bags, and shoes, and clothes, and trash, and suitcases, and bins and...well...basically my whole life and he talked to me for a while and ended up helping me out (not sorting things cus that'd be awkward hehe) but once I was done sorting he brought a bag to goodwill for me, and helped me carry suitcases and things upstairs. At the end of it,we had a long talk and I found out he was a believer. He seemed real interested in my crazy life story and he confessed to feeling like he didn't know much about the world outside of California and I kept encouraging him to look things up, or going out to open up his eyes and I hope I was able to challenge him in some way. In return, at the end of our conversation, he decided to pray for my trip. He thanked God for meeting a new sister in Christ and He just covered my journey, my decisions, and everything in prayer. I felt the Holy Spirit present and it was just a great bonding time.
It's so amazing how so many of us only have one thing in common, our deep love for Christ, and how that alone can make us feel like we've known each other for years the very first time we meet!
I felt so blessed afterwards. I told a friend of mine about it and he told me I had the gift of having people love me without even knowing me and I replied that I felt like God had blessed me with a social gift and that if all I can do is bring light to whoever I meet or run into, then my daily goal is fulfilled!
Unfortunately I fail at that goal a lot, but I still try :)
My coworker, Tiffany actually joined me here at Starbucks, which is why I've been rambling some more :) You thought you could get away with a short entry today huh? Sorrryyyy!! haha Just kidding.
It's been swell. My stomach is still crying out. I hope to come back on here very soon. I'll be in Colorado next time I do.
Merry Christmas everyone, You are loved and thought of!!!
Dorina
Friday, December 10, 2010
What's next...?
Oh. My. Goodness.
What a week! Last time I wrote here, I was all cheery and hopeful, and loving life...well here I am a couple days later not feeling the same way at all haha.
It's just been a roller coaster!
First off, physically....my body aches. My back, my fingers, my head is throbbing, my arms are sore, i did something to my wrist and my throat's been feeling irritated for the past couple of days.
This throat has kept me from getting good night sleeps. We've been waking up between 4 and 5:45 every morning this week, and being physically acitve first thing in the morning untill 3:30 for most days, including our drives to the schools.
By the time we get back to our motel, we are exhausted. All we want to do is nap BUT we try not to otherwise we'll just end up going to bed late, and end up hating life even more in the mornings.
We've had all sorts of schools. We had a school in which the teachers refused to turn all of the lights off (the darker the room, the better the show looks) because the kids were so bad that they were scared of what they would do in the dark. They even had security in the room just in case. We've had schools with kids helpig us and not listening to a thing we were saying, almost breaking all of our equipment, making dirty jokes, goofing off and stressing me out more than helping me. We've had schools with excellent little helpers who listened carefully and did everything wonderfully! We've had schools with really old African American janitors who were just absolute sweethearts, just precious ol' grandpas that you felt bad putting to work but they insisted so we used it. We've had schools where the teachers would yell at their students as if they were in the army. We had schools in which students could care less about the video. Others that cheered so loudly at the end. Others where there was complete awkward silence at the end of my conclusion. We had a school that had a Christian team of college students there to minister to kids on the same day we presented. That was really cool to watch and interact with them. :) We had a school (our very last show of the week, today) where we set everything up, shifted everything to the other side of the gym because there were huge windows that were washing out the video, and even after doing that, 10 minutes after the video started, the principle had to cancel the show because the room was so bright that no one could see anything. :(
All in all though it was a good week. In fact, we got a LOT of compliments from different staff saying that we were one of the best teams they'd had and things like that so that was encouraging for sure!
We've done 10 schools in 5 days and it is FINALLY the weekend.
I guess it's just really awkard timing for me to have had the busiest week yet right after finding everything out. Not only have I been physically exhausted this week, the reality of things has been sinking in more and more and these poor emotions of mine have been everywhere.
On top of all of this, I haven't been eating as often due to awkward show times or laziness, or pure loss of appetite, which has been a bummer because I am in Louisiana for crying out loud. The land of seafood and gumbo and soul food, greek, lebanese, French food and you name it!!!
I've had delicious gumbo and chinese food so far.
This wasn't any kind of chinese....it was....amazing...! It had all types of sea food I'd never seen or tasted before. I even had octopus! Great sushi and tempura. All sorts of crab, and so much more.
I love food, and it's such a bummer that not only am I broke (due to having to save up for a plane ticket), but I just haven't been hungry because I've let all these different emotions consume me.
AND last but not least...I haven't been able to spend as much time with the Lord as desired, which explains a lot doesn't it?
Because we get back from work exhausted and try to avoid taking naps, we try to keep our time as filled with nonsense as possible away from the hotel room that constantly toils with our desire to just lay down and pass out for hours at a time.
So I've gone to the Mall of Louisiana a couple of times, I've spent a lot of time on the phone, I've been watching shows, going to Starbucks, and doing other random things like that. So I've slacked on using this time more wisely and efficiently.
I did begin job searching and that just became way to overwhelming, way to fast.
I must say that once again I've just been so extremely encouraged by my friends and family (all of you...) that continually send me comforting messages or call to check up on me or express your sadness, or remind me that you are thinking and praying for me so THANK U ALL!!!
So all of this being said, it only makes sense that there hasn't been much progress concerning my knowing where I'm going, how I'm going there, and what I'll be doing there.
So far, the options are still France and Senegal, and now added to the list of "maybes" are Canada and Australia :)
I've always wanted to go to Australia and just found out that being a French Citizen, I could move there with minimum amount of problems finding a job for some reason. The same goes for Canada. It isn't really at the top of my choices, but it would be the cheapest option flight wise, and being bilingual, I could probably find a job there.
Who knows. I'm still very unsure. Time is going by fast though and even though I have till the first week of January to be here, I feel like I basically only have a week or two to figure this out otherwise plane tickets will be REDONCULOUS!
Writing this out helps me process my thinking, but still doesn't solve the problems. Other than the fact that I trust you will keep me in prayer once reading this.
I'm sorry I'm babbling a lot. I guess mentally I'm not all there either on top of physically and emotionally :)
What else...?
Well...I was going to talk about optimism and staying positive and how much of an impact that can have on our perspective of life as Christians BUT I'm tired, ready to get all cozzy in my bed and fall asleep with the comfort of knowing I will not have to wake up anytime between 4 and 6. Sigh. What a beautiful thought.
Praise God.
Oh here's an extra lil prayer request that my mother wanted me to put out here because as a mother she is very worried about this.
In order to get to Colorado and Indiana in a couple of weeks, I will have to drive to both states, by myself, in winter weather :/
I usually don't worry about much because...well...I already explained all of that to you guys but I must confess that this does worry me considering the fact that even though I've driven a TON in the past couple of months, let me remind you all that I've only had a license for almost 6 months AND I've never driven in the snow, so we're just going to pray and have faith that it won't snow on those days. :)
So there's that. Seriously though, praise God that this week is over. Thanks for reading and being patient with my lack of making sense tonight.
Wherever you are in the world, may your time be blessed. Take time to sit down, breathe, relax, and take full advantage of time spent with loved ones. I know I took that for granted before this job, so don't make that same mistake.
love,
Dorina
What a week! Last time I wrote here, I was all cheery and hopeful, and loving life...well here I am a couple days later not feeling the same way at all haha.
It's just been a roller coaster!
First off, physically....my body aches. My back, my fingers, my head is throbbing, my arms are sore, i did something to my wrist and my throat's been feeling irritated for the past couple of days.
This throat has kept me from getting good night sleeps. We've been waking up between 4 and 5:45 every morning this week, and being physically acitve first thing in the morning untill 3:30 for most days, including our drives to the schools.
By the time we get back to our motel, we are exhausted. All we want to do is nap BUT we try not to otherwise we'll just end up going to bed late, and end up hating life even more in the mornings.
We've had all sorts of schools. We had a school in which the teachers refused to turn all of the lights off (the darker the room, the better the show looks) because the kids were so bad that they were scared of what they would do in the dark. They even had security in the room just in case. We've had schools with kids helpig us and not listening to a thing we were saying, almost breaking all of our equipment, making dirty jokes, goofing off and stressing me out more than helping me. We've had schools with excellent little helpers who listened carefully and did everything wonderfully! We've had schools with really old African American janitors who were just absolute sweethearts, just precious ol' grandpas that you felt bad putting to work but they insisted so we used it. We've had schools where the teachers would yell at their students as if they were in the army. We had schools in which students could care less about the video. Others that cheered so loudly at the end. Others where there was complete awkward silence at the end of my conclusion. We had a school that had a Christian team of college students there to minister to kids on the same day we presented. That was really cool to watch and interact with them. :) We had a school (our very last show of the week, today) where we set everything up, shifted everything to the other side of the gym because there were huge windows that were washing out the video, and even after doing that, 10 minutes after the video started, the principle had to cancel the show because the room was so bright that no one could see anything. :(
All in all though it was a good week. In fact, we got a LOT of compliments from different staff saying that we were one of the best teams they'd had and things like that so that was encouraging for sure!
We've done 10 schools in 5 days and it is FINALLY the weekend.
I guess it's just really awkard timing for me to have had the busiest week yet right after finding everything out. Not only have I been physically exhausted this week, the reality of things has been sinking in more and more and these poor emotions of mine have been everywhere.
On top of all of this, I haven't been eating as often due to awkward show times or laziness, or pure loss of appetite, which has been a bummer because I am in Louisiana for crying out loud. The land of seafood and gumbo and soul food, greek, lebanese, French food and you name it!!!
I've had delicious gumbo and chinese food so far.
This wasn't any kind of chinese....it was....amazing...! It had all types of sea food I'd never seen or tasted before. I even had octopus! Great sushi and tempura. All sorts of crab, and so much more.
I love food, and it's such a bummer that not only am I broke (due to having to save up for a plane ticket), but I just haven't been hungry because I've let all these different emotions consume me.
AND last but not least...I haven't been able to spend as much time with the Lord as desired, which explains a lot doesn't it?
Because we get back from work exhausted and try to avoid taking naps, we try to keep our time as filled with nonsense as possible away from the hotel room that constantly toils with our desire to just lay down and pass out for hours at a time.
So I've gone to the Mall of Louisiana a couple of times, I've spent a lot of time on the phone, I've been watching shows, going to Starbucks, and doing other random things like that. So I've slacked on using this time more wisely and efficiently.
I did begin job searching and that just became way to overwhelming, way to fast.
I must say that once again I've just been so extremely encouraged by my friends and family (all of you...) that continually send me comforting messages or call to check up on me or express your sadness, or remind me that you are thinking and praying for me so THANK U ALL!!!
So all of this being said, it only makes sense that there hasn't been much progress concerning my knowing where I'm going, how I'm going there, and what I'll be doing there.
So far, the options are still France and Senegal, and now added to the list of "maybes" are Canada and Australia :)
I've always wanted to go to Australia and just found out that being a French Citizen, I could move there with minimum amount of problems finding a job for some reason. The same goes for Canada. It isn't really at the top of my choices, but it would be the cheapest option flight wise, and being bilingual, I could probably find a job there.
Who knows. I'm still very unsure. Time is going by fast though and even though I have till the first week of January to be here, I feel like I basically only have a week or two to figure this out otherwise plane tickets will be REDONCULOUS!
Writing this out helps me process my thinking, but still doesn't solve the problems. Other than the fact that I trust you will keep me in prayer once reading this.
I'm sorry I'm babbling a lot. I guess mentally I'm not all there either on top of physically and emotionally :)
What else...?
Well...I was going to talk about optimism and staying positive and how much of an impact that can have on our perspective of life as Christians BUT I'm tired, ready to get all cozzy in my bed and fall asleep with the comfort of knowing I will not have to wake up anytime between 4 and 6. Sigh. What a beautiful thought.
Praise God.
Oh here's an extra lil prayer request that my mother wanted me to put out here because as a mother she is very worried about this.
In order to get to Colorado and Indiana in a couple of weeks, I will have to drive to both states, by myself, in winter weather :/
I usually don't worry about much because...well...I already explained all of that to you guys but I must confess that this does worry me considering the fact that even though I've driven a TON in the past couple of months, let me remind you all that I've only had a license for almost 6 months AND I've never driven in the snow, so we're just going to pray and have faith that it won't snow on those days. :)
So there's that. Seriously though, praise God that this week is over. Thanks for reading and being patient with my lack of making sense tonight.
Wherever you are in the world, may your time be blessed. Take time to sit down, breathe, relax, and take full advantage of time spent with loved ones. I know I took that for granted before this job, so don't make that same mistake.
love,
Dorina
Monday, December 6, 2010
Mixed Emotions
Good morning, afternoon, or evening dear reader!
Well, what a wonderful day. I am currently ending my first day of our busiest week by sitting in starbucks drinking a chocolate mocha and listening to Christmas music while writing you all :)
This morning I felt sooo loved by strangers. Sometimes that's even better than feeling loved by...well...loved ones, because it's completely unexpected!
The second school we went to was great. It was a big middle school and even though the kids got yelled at by their principal because they created so much chaos coming in and she was very embarrassed by them (little does she know, we've seen way worse!), the kids for some reason loooooved me.
I already wrote this on my status, so if you read this for the second time, my apologies. But seriously, I felt so loved. One girl walked by me and says to her friends while starring at me "Oh my goodness girls, look at her she is soooo pretty!" haha. Another girl pointed at my tattoo and whispered with her friends and then goes "OMG that tattooo is sooo cool!" and then when I was introduced to everybody, she says "and her name is cool tooo!!!" At then end of the show, on her way back to class, she yells "Bye coool person. thanks for coming!!!" haha
Another kid starred at me while I was singing and I asked him if he liked my voice (because God knows I have a terrible voice) and he smiled and nodded. Later on when we were leaving, he goes "I like your singing!!!!" and I responded "thanks but you don't need to lie to me while laughing." :)
Two girls at one point ran towards me, and said "OMG you are so pretty, can we please give you a hug!?" and then two other girls later on told me they thought I was pretty!
A couple of kids came up to me at different times saying they absolutely loved the video and thanking me. Another girl walked by and said "I like your shoes!!!" Last but not least, a young boy filled with amazing manners kept following me around asking me if I needed help during tear town, while all the while trying to get to know me. (No he was not hitting on me). In fact he reminded me of one of my really good friends (TImothy Urbanowicz) in his manners, looks, and more, so I didn't mind it a bit!
Anywho...all of this to say God blessed me with these little angels to make me feel a bit better about life just for one day.
I come to update you on the evolution of my "situation" and how I am dealing with it all.
Yesterday was hard. The hardest yet. Everything is slowly but surely soaking in. I am trying to stay positive and keep my eyes on the Lord, but I can't help but let big and small fears slowly creep in
I start thinking about the futur and my life and thoughts such as "Oh my goodness, am I going to lose most of my friends through the distance??" or "Someday when I get married, will I even have that many people at my wedding if it is in another country!?" or small things like "How am I going to order my contacts every couple of months." or during worship at Church, I think about how I won't be singing any of these songs for a while. and of course the big fears like " I still don't understand how I am going to buy a plane ticket to go wherever," or " where will I go!??!?!?"
Well you get the drift. At the end of it, I always hear that voice that reassures me and tells me it's all under control and I have nothing to worry about but you know I'm human.
On top of these fears that creep in every once in a while, I've been feeling frustrated at various things and definitely extremely sad. I think that's the worst. The sadness that sometimes overwhelms me at the realization that I have to start all over again. Making connections. Making friends. Settling in and down. Adapting. Understanding a different culture. Even if I do move home, it won't be the same. I won't have the same friends there, or the same mentality since I am now an adult.
I just get sad thinking about the fact that all of my friends, at least MOST of them are really just here in the US. I have a couple in France, a couple back home, a couple in Canada and a little bit of everywhere in the world, but the ones who know me the most now as who I am today are here. It's just hard to think that God is separating me from them.
You know, God's been preparing my heart for this for a couple of weeks now and I did have a feeling He was sending me elsewhere but this soon, I did not realize.
The past month or so, I'd been thinking about my life here in the US and how it seemed sort of pointless. Not really pointless since no matter where I am I can be used by God and I believe I have, so in that sense it hasn't been pointless; But I've been thinking about this job and though a great opportunity to impact the youth, it isn't or should I say wasn't something I felt I wanted to do forever, or at all again.
You see, my passions lie in photography and film and creating beauty through a lens so I can share God's glory, Whether it is through the sharing of a story that needs to be told, or using my skills to touch on issues that need to be addressed, or whether it's simply capturing the beauty of God's creation. That is what I absolutely love doing.
So with that being said, I felt like I was missing out on something by not being involved in any of that. Not only was I missing out on learning and growing more in my passions, I was also not really making much money. Now don't get me wrong, I am not about money at all. But if I am going to be doing something I'm not extremely passionate about, I would like to get paid a bit more you know?
Well anyway I started thinking about all of that, and about where my life was headed here in the US and how I had nothing here other than friends. I have a so so job (that I don't regret having taken because of the growth I've experienced and the impact that's been made), I have no family (no immediate family) here, no boyfriend (not really in a rush to have one either BUT I've been "proposed" to twice to stay in the US twice since all of this has happened). But in all reality, the ONLY thing in the US that I have are those really close and amazing friends that mean SO much to me.
So yes, God was attempting to prepare me for this, and I was feeling his tug at my heart, but I didn't realize how urgent and pressed the issue at matters was.
It all became quite clear December 3rd when I called the US Immigration and they confirmed by not being able to extend my working permit, AND when on that same day I got laid off.
Another effect that this sudden situation has had on my life here is just to appreciate every little thing as if it were my last day. I've been appreciating the smallest things like certain types of bird, or cheap coffee at a gas station, or the beautiful scenery of this place, or sales that I just can't pass on :) (I've always appreciated those!), or southern hospitality, or conversations with strangers, radio stations, my ability to drive (as bad as it is!), the spirit of Christmas, snow (though I haven't seen it yet haha I plan on seeing it once more before i leave!!), people watching in malls (I'm a creeper hehe), you name it....I've taken so many things for granted, and still do, but I'm trying to soak it all in. Each day that goes by, is a day closer to my crazy new big step in life!
I've also been feeling all of this soaking in physically. I've been getting random headaches, I've been getting really tired, I felt nausea last night, and I feel like I'm started to get sick, which could just be coincidental.
At this point, all I can do is trust and do my part of the job. I need to send my resume out a little bit of everywhere, and open my eyes and heart to what might be out there.
Also, all I can do is TRUST. Such an intense word. How can we TRUST after being hurt so many times, being disapointed, being let down, being betrayed and taken advantage of??
I suppose the answer is quite easy and clear. JESUS. Not only has he felt every bit of pain we each have, He promises to never do that to us. At this point the true question is: "How can I NOT trust? you know?"
So that is exactly what I intend on doing.
Beth Moore says this:" As God's children, we are the recipients of lavish love, a love that motivates us to keep trusting even when we have no idea what God is doing."
That is exactly what I am going through and how I feel. I have NO idea what God is doing, but I still choose to trust, no matter how hard it gets at times. I also have to trust God's timing. I have to trust that He will provide my every financial, spiritual, emotional, and physical need at this point. He has so far, so what should stop Him now?
My trusting Him is the right thing to do as crazy as it may seem and sound to some (believers and non), it really is the right thing to do.
PS: I've been receiving sweet and encouraging emails, or facebook comments and I can feel the prayers that are sent by So many my way and I am extremely grateful for that. Please bring it on. Satan is and will use whatever it is to make me feel down, discouraged, sad, and "encourage" me to give up but I refuse to do so, so thank you and keep it coming please.
In return, I will attempt to keep you updated on the evolution of all of this craziness!!
Thank you! mucho gracias, and merci beacoup!!!!
Do
Well, what a wonderful day. I am currently ending my first day of our busiest week by sitting in starbucks drinking a chocolate mocha and listening to Christmas music while writing you all :)
This morning I felt sooo loved by strangers. Sometimes that's even better than feeling loved by...well...loved ones, because it's completely unexpected!
The second school we went to was great. It was a big middle school and even though the kids got yelled at by their principal because they created so much chaos coming in and she was very embarrassed by them (little does she know, we've seen way worse!), the kids for some reason loooooved me.
I already wrote this on my status, so if you read this for the second time, my apologies. But seriously, I felt so loved. One girl walked by me and says to her friends while starring at me "Oh my goodness girls, look at her she is soooo pretty!" haha. Another girl pointed at my tattoo and whispered with her friends and then goes "OMG that tattooo is sooo cool!" and then when I was introduced to everybody, she says "and her name is cool tooo!!!" At then end of the show, on her way back to class, she yells "Bye coool person. thanks for coming!!!" haha
Another kid starred at me while I was singing and I asked him if he liked my voice (because God knows I have a terrible voice) and he smiled and nodded. Later on when we were leaving, he goes "I like your singing!!!!" and I responded "thanks but you don't need to lie to me while laughing." :)
Two girls at one point ran towards me, and said "OMG you are so pretty, can we please give you a hug!?" and then two other girls later on told me they thought I was pretty!
A couple of kids came up to me at different times saying they absolutely loved the video and thanking me. Another girl walked by and said "I like your shoes!!!" Last but not least, a young boy filled with amazing manners kept following me around asking me if I needed help during tear town, while all the while trying to get to know me. (No he was not hitting on me). In fact he reminded me of one of my really good friends (TImothy Urbanowicz) in his manners, looks, and more, so I didn't mind it a bit!
Anywho...all of this to say God blessed me with these little angels to make me feel a bit better about life just for one day.
I come to update you on the evolution of my "situation" and how I am dealing with it all.
Yesterday was hard. The hardest yet. Everything is slowly but surely soaking in. I am trying to stay positive and keep my eyes on the Lord, but I can't help but let big and small fears slowly creep in
I start thinking about the futur and my life and thoughts such as "Oh my goodness, am I going to lose most of my friends through the distance??" or "Someday when I get married, will I even have that many people at my wedding if it is in another country!?" or small things like "How am I going to order my contacts every couple of months." or during worship at Church, I think about how I won't be singing any of these songs for a while. and of course the big fears like " I still don't understand how I am going to buy a plane ticket to go wherever," or " where will I go!??!?!?"
Well you get the drift. At the end of it, I always hear that voice that reassures me and tells me it's all under control and I have nothing to worry about but you know I'm human.
On top of these fears that creep in every once in a while, I've been feeling frustrated at various things and definitely extremely sad. I think that's the worst. The sadness that sometimes overwhelms me at the realization that I have to start all over again. Making connections. Making friends. Settling in and down. Adapting. Understanding a different culture. Even if I do move home, it won't be the same. I won't have the same friends there, or the same mentality since I am now an adult.
I just get sad thinking about the fact that all of my friends, at least MOST of them are really just here in the US. I have a couple in France, a couple back home, a couple in Canada and a little bit of everywhere in the world, but the ones who know me the most now as who I am today are here. It's just hard to think that God is separating me from them.
You know, God's been preparing my heart for this for a couple of weeks now and I did have a feeling He was sending me elsewhere but this soon, I did not realize.
The past month or so, I'd been thinking about my life here in the US and how it seemed sort of pointless. Not really pointless since no matter where I am I can be used by God and I believe I have, so in that sense it hasn't been pointless; But I've been thinking about this job and though a great opportunity to impact the youth, it isn't or should I say wasn't something I felt I wanted to do forever, or at all again.
You see, my passions lie in photography and film and creating beauty through a lens so I can share God's glory, Whether it is through the sharing of a story that needs to be told, or using my skills to touch on issues that need to be addressed, or whether it's simply capturing the beauty of God's creation. That is what I absolutely love doing.
So with that being said, I felt like I was missing out on something by not being involved in any of that. Not only was I missing out on learning and growing more in my passions, I was also not really making much money. Now don't get me wrong, I am not about money at all. But if I am going to be doing something I'm not extremely passionate about, I would like to get paid a bit more you know?
Well anyway I started thinking about all of that, and about where my life was headed here in the US and how I had nothing here other than friends. I have a so so job (that I don't regret having taken because of the growth I've experienced and the impact that's been made), I have no family (no immediate family) here, no boyfriend (not really in a rush to have one either BUT I've been "proposed" to twice to stay in the US twice since all of this has happened). But in all reality, the ONLY thing in the US that I have are those really close and amazing friends that mean SO much to me.
So yes, God was attempting to prepare me for this, and I was feeling his tug at my heart, but I didn't realize how urgent and pressed the issue at matters was.
It all became quite clear December 3rd when I called the US Immigration and they confirmed by not being able to extend my working permit, AND when on that same day I got laid off.
Another effect that this sudden situation has had on my life here is just to appreciate every little thing as if it were my last day. I've been appreciating the smallest things like certain types of bird, or cheap coffee at a gas station, or the beautiful scenery of this place, or sales that I just can't pass on :) (I've always appreciated those!), or southern hospitality, or conversations with strangers, radio stations, my ability to drive (as bad as it is!), the spirit of Christmas, snow (though I haven't seen it yet haha I plan on seeing it once more before i leave!!), people watching in malls (I'm a creeper hehe), you name it....I've taken so many things for granted, and still do, but I'm trying to soak it all in. Each day that goes by, is a day closer to my crazy new big step in life!
I've also been feeling all of this soaking in physically. I've been getting random headaches, I've been getting really tired, I felt nausea last night, and I feel like I'm started to get sick, which could just be coincidental.
At this point, all I can do is trust and do my part of the job. I need to send my resume out a little bit of everywhere, and open my eyes and heart to what might be out there.
Also, all I can do is TRUST. Such an intense word. How can we TRUST after being hurt so many times, being disapointed, being let down, being betrayed and taken advantage of??
I suppose the answer is quite easy and clear. JESUS. Not only has he felt every bit of pain we each have, He promises to never do that to us. At this point the true question is: "How can I NOT trust? you know?"
So that is exactly what I intend on doing.
Beth Moore says this:" As God's children, we are the recipients of lavish love, a love that motivates us to keep trusting even when we have no idea what God is doing."
That is exactly what I am going through and how I feel. I have NO idea what God is doing, but I still choose to trust, no matter how hard it gets at times. I also have to trust God's timing. I have to trust that He will provide my every financial, spiritual, emotional, and physical need at this point. He has so far, so what should stop Him now?
My trusting Him is the right thing to do as crazy as it may seem and sound to some (believers and non), it really is the right thing to do.
PS: I've been receiving sweet and encouraging emails, or facebook comments and I can feel the prayers that are sent by So many my way and I am extremely grateful for that. Please bring it on. Satan is and will use whatever it is to make me feel down, discouraged, sad, and "encourage" me to give up but I refuse to do so, so thank you and keep it coming please.
In return, I will attempt to keep you updated on the evolution of all of this craziness!!
Thank you! mucho gracias, and merci beacoup!!!!
Do
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Craziness in my life!
Hello....
Where to begin...I guess I can start where I last left off. I am rejoicing in the Lord through hardship. I mean I don't know what's happening in my life but I do know God is here in the midst of it all.
I woke up with the song: "I will sing of your mercy that leads me through valleys of sorrow to rivers and joy. Halleluijah."
I am feeling so many mixed emotions right now, it's unreal. I feel peace. I feel fear. (big contradiction). I feel excitement. I feel sadness. I feel hope. I feel joy. I feel anxiety, slight panic, a bit of anger (a very small amount), confusion, astonishment, uneasyness...and so soooo much more!!
Here's the deal. I am leaving the U.S.A as of January 2nd when my permit ends. Everything happened so suddenly and I am still not fully understand of why, but as I said before I have faith (SO MUCH) that God will take care of me and this situation and once again prove Himself in miraculous ways!
Here's my plan for the next month: I have two weeks left of work in which I will be in Louisiana for the first week We have the busiest week yet. We have two shows in two schools each day of the week. It won't be extremely stressful, but it will be physically exhausting.
After that, we will be in San Antonio. We only have one show that week, which will give us time to work on our equipment before heading back!!
So after that we drive down to California, which ends my time with Camfel Productions. It's been a challenging but good journey for sure.
In california, I will pick up my car and belongings (yyeeessss) and head to Colorado to spend Christmas with loved ones :) Once that happens, I will then drive to Indiana and spend a little bit of time there with more loved ones. and THEN January 2nd of 2011 I will be flying out to God knows where.
This is where I need you. I need your support. I need encouragement. I need prayer. I trust that as brothers and sisters of Christ or as amazing friends you will provide that for me, and I am grateful for that.
It's been such a blessing to have been able to blog and see the support I have through the body of Christ and ones who just care for me.
It's been hard because I've been bouncing around from motel to motel, and I've been denied brothers and sisters in Christ and a stable community, and I've been really lonely, and I've lacked that consistency that any human being needs. In the midst of that I've found hope, joy, peace, and much growth through my relationship with God and even through many relationships I've made along the way or had already established before this journey began.
I am eternally grateful for that.
I am listening to myself as I type and I can't help but chuckle a bit because this blog entry sounds like it's the end of my life haha. It's the end of this journey but the beginning of a new one, one which I intend on still sharing with you all :)
The book I told you all about the other day was most definitely God sent.
Yesterday, I read about the hope we have in Christ through the gifts He's given us. Things like:
"And because we know Christ is alive, we have hope for the present and hope for life beyond the grave." (Billy Graham)
and
"God dwells in eternity, but time dwells in God. He has ready live all our tomorrows as he has lived all our yesterdays." (A. W. Tozer)
and
"Other men see only a hopeless end, but the Christian rejoices in an endless hope." Gilbert M. Beeken
have truly encouraged me in the midst of all of this.
This morning I read more on the subject of optimism and the power it has on us. You know it's all about pespective. We all have troubles. Mine aren't any worse than any of the ones you might be going through or any one else might be going through for that matter, but the beauty of it all is that we have faith. That thing inside of us that allows the dark to become light, the sad to become joy, the sorrow to become hope, the disbelief becomes belief. You know?
The optimisitic outlook that we as believers have makes the entire difference!
Romans 8:25 says "But if we look forward to something we don't have yet, we must wait patiently and confidently."
We can either sit on our butts in our pity box (which I've done far to many times, and will most likely do again!) and act like it is the end of the world, and cry our sorrows away OR we can rejoice, sing, praise God for allowing us to be going through whatever it is and count our blessings through it.
I am most definitely not an optimistic person by nature. You can ask anyone, but Christ has this amazing way of changing me by His grace, and convicting me.
"If you're overly worried by the inevitable ups and downs of life, God wants to have a litte chat with you. After all, God has made promises to you that He intends to keep. And if your life has been transformed by God's only begotten Son then you, as a recipient of God's grace have every reason to live courageaously."
I can't think of it right now, or find it. But this morning God reminded me of His promises. Whether it was while reading the Bible (i read a little bit of Psalm 119), or through this book, or just Him speaking to me through His Holy Spirit. Either way aside from this verse, God reminded me of His amazing plans for me, and His promises for my life and I fully trust that He plans on making them happen. I don't know how or when, but I trust and I will continue to do that.
I had a really strange dream last night. A lot of random but magnificent creatures surrounded me. It was surreal. Clearly just a dream, but it was amazing. I remember taking a lot of pictures of them :)
However, part of this dream had to do with me being a leader. I led a big group of people of all ages through a path and had a key to a place of comfort and safety.
I don't know why I am sharing this dream. I don't even know what it means. But maybe someday it will make sense. Or maybe it never will. Who knows.
Anywho....I believe I've shared enough for now. I will keep you all posted on the evolution of this "crisis" if you will, in my life. ;)
Be blessed, count your blessings, rejoice in the Lord and don't forget how much He adores you.
Love,
DJO
Where to begin...I guess I can start where I last left off. I am rejoicing in the Lord through hardship. I mean I don't know what's happening in my life but I do know God is here in the midst of it all.
I woke up with the song: "I will sing of your mercy that leads me through valleys of sorrow to rivers and joy. Halleluijah."
I am feeling so many mixed emotions right now, it's unreal. I feel peace. I feel fear. (big contradiction). I feel excitement. I feel sadness. I feel hope. I feel joy. I feel anxiety, slight panic, a bit of anger (a very small amount), confusion, astonishment, uneasyness...and so soooo much more!!
Here's the deal. I am leaving the U.S.A as of January 2nd when my permit ends. Everything happened so suddenly and I am still not fully understand of why, but as I said before I have faith (SO MUCH) that God will take care of me and this situation and once again prove Himself in miraculous ways!
Here's my plan for the next month: I have two weeks left of work in which I will be in Louisiana for the first week We have the busiest week yet. We have two shows in two schools each day of the week. It won't be extremely stressful, but it will be physically exhausting.
After that, we will be in San Antonio. We only have one show that week, which will give us time to work on our equipment before heading back!!
So after that we drive down to California, which ends my time with Camfel Productions. It's been a challenging but good journey for sure.
In california, I will pick up my car and belongings (yyeeessss) and head to Colorado to spend Christmas with loved ones :) Once that happens, I will then drive to Indiana and spend a little bit of time there with more loved ones. and THEN January 2nd of 2011 I will be flying out to God knows where.
This is where I need you. I need your support. I need encouragement. I need prayer. I trust that as brothers and sisters of Christ or as amazing friends you will provide that for me, and I am grateful for that.
It's been such a blessing to have been able to blog and see the support I have through the body of Christ and ones who just care for me.
It's been hard because I've been bouncing around from motel to motel, and I've been denied brothers and sisters in Christ and a stable community, and I've been really lonely, and I've lacked that consistency that any human being needs. In the midst of that I've found hope, joy, peace, and much growth through my relationship with God and even through many relationships I've made along the way or had already established before this journey began.
I am eternally grateful for that.
I am listening to myself as I type and I can't help but chuckle a bit because this blog entry sounds like it's the end of my life haha. It's the end of this journey but the beginning of a new one, one which I intend on still sharing with you all :)
The book I told you all about the other day was most definitely God sent.
Yesterday, I read about the hope we have in Christ through the gifts He's given us. Things like:
"And because we know Christ is alive, we have hope for the present and hope for life beyond the grave." (Billy Graham)
and
"God dwells in eternity, but time dwells in God. He has ready live all our tomorrows as he has lived all our yesterdays." (A. W. Tozer)
and
"Other men see only a hopeless end, but the Christian rejoices in an endless hope." Gilbert M. Beeken
have truly encouraged me in the midst of all of this.
This morning I read more on the subject of optimism and the power it has on us. You know it's all about pespective. We all have troubles. Mine aren't any worse than any of the ones you might be going through or any one else might be going through for that matter, but the beauty of it all is that we have faith. That thing inside of us that allows the dark to become light, the sad to become joy, the sorrow to become hope, the disbelief becomes belief. You know?
The optimisitic outlook that we as believers have makes the entire difference!
Romans 8:25 says "But if we look forward to something we don't have yet, we must wait patiently and confidently."
We can either sit on our butts in our pity box (which I've done far to many times, and will most likely do again!) and act like it is the end of the world, and cry our sorrows away OR we can rejoice, sing, praise God for allowing us to be going through whatever it is and count our blessings through it.
I am most definitely not an optimistic person by nature. You can ask anyone, but Christ has this amazing way of changing me by His grace, and convicting me.
"If you're overly worried by the inevitable ups and downs of life, God wants to have a litte chat with you. After all, God has made promises to you that He intends to keep. And if your life has been transformed by God's only begotten Son then you, as a recipient of God's grace have every reason to live courageaously."
I can't think of it right now, or find it. But this morning God reminded me of His promises. Whether it was while reading the Bible (i read a little bit of Psalm 119), or through this book, or just Him speaking to me through His Holy Spirit. Either way aside from this verse, God reminded me of His amazing plans for me, and His promises for my life and I fully trust that He plans on making them happen. I don't know how or when, but I trust and I will continue to do that.
I had a really strange dream last night. A lot of random but magnificent creatures surrounded me. It was surreal. Clearly just a dream, but it was amazing. I remember taking a lot of pictures of them :)
However, part of this dream had to do with me being a leader. I led a big group of people of all ages through a path and had a key to a place of comfort and safety.
I don't know why I am sharing this dream. I don't even know what it means. But maybe someday it will make sense. Or maybe it never will. Who knows.
Anywho....I believe I've shared enough for now. I will keep you all posted on the evolution of this "crisis" if you will, in my life. ;)
Be blessed, count your blessings, rejoice in the Lord and don't forget how much He adores you.
Love,
DJO
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Thanksgiving Blessings
Holaaaa!!
I've been such a stranger. My sincere apologies :(
Today is a very special day. It is my bff Lysiane's birthday and I hope she has the most amazing day ever!!!
Happy Thanksgiving to you all (even though I'm pretty much a week late on that one)! And happy holidays! Hope you are all embracing the Holiday spirit that's come very soon!!
Well in a nutshell....here's my past week and half:
I was beyond blessed with the ability to go to Illinois/Indiana. I owe you all a very big thank you for your prayers. God definitely heard them :)
Last week, before heading out, we had a couple of shows in New Mexico. We stayed in a very very small town that didn't have much for a couple of days. I remember Tiffany and I waking up extremely ansy feeling like we had nothing to do and were so bored. Whether it was the fact that we knew that we were only a couple days away from seing loved ones and getting a break, or whether it was just the fact that we were overwhelmed with boredom due to being tired of having the same routine. After a while, reading books, getting on facebook, watching the same old shows, etc etc gets very old.
I don't know exactly what caused this anxiety and extreme boredom, but we sort of laughed about it and continued to complain.
Anywho, tuesday was our extreme long day before our big trip on wednesday. We started out with two shows in one school. At the end of the last show, I was inspired to conclude in a completely different way. I felt like God put words in my mouth to really speak to certain students, maybe one. Who knows. I'll never know, but despite my fear of public speaking, I went ahead and encouraged the crap out of those kids using the words God put on my heart.
We continued our hectic day by going to a second school about 30 min away from the one we started out with, and thought everything seemed to be going wrong there, we were just that much closer to get our break. I remembered TIffany and I were planning ahead saying "How can we get out of here the quickest possible since we had a 7h drive waiting for us after our 4 shows that day. I also remember stopping myself at one point, and praying that God would allow me to focus on my goal here. My purpose won't be fulfilled if I just go on trying to rush the show, and conclude quickly "just to do my job" and nothing more.
So, though I told myself I'd conclude real fast, I took my time, and said whatever it is I felt I needed to say to conlcude the showing, hoping that my words would touch some student's hearts. Or essentially that God would use my "non rushed" words to touch hearts. They seemed to really enjoy the show and I was happy.
We got on the road, and 7 hours later, we were in Dallas Texas. My good friend Melanie Mahoney from highschool, (whom I hadn't seen in 5 years...or talked to in 3!!) was amazing. She welcomed us, agreed to keep an eye on our van while we were gone. She and I spent the night laughing, talking, reminiscing, and really seeing how we'd each grown. It was SUCH a blessing to see her. A great way to start my break! I am so grateful that God didn't allow my other friend to help us, because Melanie and I needed to see each other. I believe we both refreshed each other.
ANYWHO!!!!
My break was amazing. I had a long long trip on wednesday, my best friend in Indiana Megan picked me up and surprised me by inviting another great friend of mine to a restaurant on our way from Indy to Illinois. We ate, laughed, took pics, and I was exhausted from not having slept the night before but OH SO HAPPY. Indiana/Illinois welcomed with with cold, grey, nasty weather, but you know what? I didn't care, it didn't even phase me. I was so overwhelmed with joy to be with Megan that the warmth in my heart radiated out through my spirit and nothing else mattered!
I spent an amazing thanksgiving break with Megan and her family in Illinois. Megan, her mother, and I did the whole waking up at 2:45am on black friday to do some crazy intense shopping. I was pretty much there for the experience, the rush, and moral support.
Friday night, we headed to Huntington and were able to hang out with a friend real quickly.
Saturday was going to be my only full day in Huntington and I woke feeling like crap :( I was frustrated because I wanted to see so many people and do so many things, but wasn't able to. It was a good day nonetheless, I was able to see a couple of very good friends.
Sunday was spent at the 509. The building where my church and I worship God, grow as individuals, as a community, and learn more about God through our relationships, convictions, and our Shepherd Matthew Brown.
I've spent 4 years worshipping with this community and it truly has allowed me to grow as a servant of Christ beyond belief. I am always filled with joy when I am there.
After service, we went to the community house and had a simple lunch food wise, but amazing lunch fellowship wise. Living in community. How much I miss that~ I got a sweet taste of what Heaven will someday be like :)
Sunday afternoon...after searching for hours for my lost wallet (i left it in plants outside of Megan's house. Go figure!) we picked up my good friend Eric and road tripped to Chicago.
A great roadtrip it was. Many tough questions and discussions about our faith and who we are. It was intense, especially since we were all exhausted, it made it harder to concentrate, but definitely good.
THEN....I GOT TO SEE MY PARENTS!!!! :D for the first time in a year. It was sooo good. Unfortunately we got there late, and despite their extreme fatigue they stayed up for 2 hours with me. THe next mornging I had to fly back out to Dallas, meaning I only got 2 more hours with them on monday morning. A total of 4 hours with my parents was definitely better than nothing.
Oh how God works in mysterious ways. What are the odds...that my parents and I would be 4 hours away from each other on the same weekend in the same place!?!?!? BLESSED!
SOOO that was my break.
Work has been good. We are all getting to a point where we are tired, and anxious to know about next semester and want to start planning our Xmas breaks, but we understand that our boss has been very busy. God's been working muchos muchos patience in our hearts.
I thought I was going to be all sad and depressed coming back to the job after being with so many loved ones but GOD IS SO FAITHFUL!!
Not only did I get to relax with Melanie monday night when she picked me up from the airport, but God was able to bless us with an easy setup/school on tuesday morning, AND He allowed me to find the PERFECT SPOT for our stay in Arkansas.
We have been staying at the Willow Beach Motel in Hot Springs Arkansas. Our room is a cute little spot with a kitchen, and an amazing view of Lake Hamilton. We have a floating dock right outside of our room.
I've woken up extremely early for the past two morning watching the sunrise and what a peaceful and humbling way to start the day. I AM SO BLESSED. GOD IS SO FAITHFUL!!!!!!!
Ok....SO....every year of my life since I've been in the US. It seems like something intense happens where I must let go of everything and completely trust God in it.
This time of the year has come. Yesterday morning I found out news that will have a huge effect on whether I stay in the US next year or not.
At first, it seemed surreal and I couldn't even think straight, but then I realized what was happening. It was that time of the year in my life again. And instead of freaking out, I got sort of excited. I thought to myself. Oh my Goodness! God is going to be glorified through this.
Either a new step in my life is about to happen, which is beyond exciting to know I'm moving forward with life OR God is truly going to manifest his glory through this!
You see, I've been extremely blessed growing up. I grew up in a missionary family, we've never been wealthy or anwhere near it. So growing up, I never expected to make a lot of money in the futur. I knew what it was like to live day by day, month by month completely relying on God's providing.
This is one of the best gifts (other than this son) that God could have given me as a human being. My whole life, I've witnessed LIVE God's providing whatever was needed in my family. It seemed so normal and simple. It was kind of like common sense. Like "Oh something's not right, or we don't have money, or we can't do this so automatically go to God...duuuh."
I know it's not that simle, but it really is. I was blessed to see His miraculous works in my parent's life who have been the most amazing example of living by faith and not by sight. I am SO thankful for that.
This is why I am the worry free person that I am today. Sometimes it gets me in trouble because I believe sooo much that God will take care of something that sometimes I just sit on my butt and do nothing to solve whatever it is.
I just bought a devotional book yesterday called "21 minutes for 21 days." The very first chapter talks about faith. How perfectly appropriate for the news I got that day.
The author says "If you are waiting for someone else to solve your problems or if you are waiting for God to patch things up by Himself, you may become impatien, despondents, or both. But when you stop waiting and start working, God has a way of pitching in and finishing the job. Believe in the Lord and He will do half of the work...the last half."
So what I need from you right now is prayer. Please pray for wisdom, guidance, and definitely discipline to keep seeking God's will at this very important in my life.
It's easy to focus on the negative right now. I have no money, I have no family in the US, I'm not using my passion (in photography and videography) the way I was hoping I would by now, I am single..bla bla bla bla...BUT I choose not to. I chose to look up to the Heavens and rejoice. Rejoice for He will do something big in my life....He will continue to allow me to grow in, with, and through HIM.
Here are a few quotations concerning faith that really encouraged me, and I hope that they encourage you as well.
"Faith is seeing light with the eyes of your heart, when the eyes of your body see only darkness. (Barbara Johnson)
"For we walk by faith, not by sight." (2Cor 5:7)
"Teach us to set our hopes on heaven, to hold firmly to the promise of eternal life, so that we can withstand the struggles and storms of this world." (Max Lucado)
The author of this devotional reminds us that "If you don't have faith, you'll never move mountains. But if you do have faith, there's no limit to the things that you and God , working together, can accomplish.
AMEN to THAT!!!
God bless you all :D
Do
I've been such a stranger. My sincere apologies :(
Today is a very special day. It is my bff Lysiane's birthday and I hope she has the most amazing day ever!!!
Happy Thanksgiving to you all (even though I'm pretty much a week late on that one)! And happy holidays! Hope you are all embracing the Holiday spirit that's come very soon!!
Well in a nutshell....here's my past week and half:
I was beyond blessed with the ability to go to Illinois/Indiana. I owe you all a very big thank you for your prayers. God definitely heard them :)
Last week, before heading out, we had a couple of shows in New Mexico. We stayed in a very very small town that didn't have much for a couple of days. I remember Tiffany and I waking up extremely ansy feeling like we had nothing to do and were so bored. Whether it was the fact that we knew that we were only a couple days away from seing loved ones and getting a break, or whether it was just the fact that we were overwhelmed with boredom due to being tired of having the same routine. After a while, reading books, getting on facebook, watching the same old shows, etc etc gets very old.
I don't know exactly what caused this anxiety and extreme boredom, but we sort of laughed about it and continued to complain.
Anywho, tuesday was our extreme long day before our big trip on wednesday. We started out with two shows in one school. At the end of the last show, I was inspired to conclude in a completely different way. I felt like God put words in my mouth to really speak to certain students, maybe one. Who knows. I'll never know, but despite my fear of public speaking, I went ahead and encouraged the crap out of those kids using the words God put on my heart.
We continued our hectic day by going to a second school about 30 min away from the one we started out with, and thought everything seemed to be going wrong there, we were just that much closer to get our break. I remembered TIffany and I were planning ahead saying "How can we get out of here the quickest possible since we had a 7h drive waiting for us after our 4 shows that day. I also remember stopping myself at one point, and praying that God would allow me to focus on my goal here. My purpose won't be fulfilled if I just go on trying to rush the show, and conclude quickly "just to do my job" and nothing more.
So, though I told myself I'd conclude real fast, I took my time, and said whatever it is I felt I needed to say to conlcude the showing, hoping that my words would touch some student's hearts. Or essentially that God would use my "non rushed" words to touch hearts. They seemed to really enjoy the show and I was happy.
We got on the road, and 7 hours later, we were in Dallas Texas. My good friend Melanie Mahoney from highschool, (whom I hadn't seen in 5 years...or talked to in 3!!) was amazing. She welcomed us, agreed to keep an eye on our van while we were gone. She and I spent the night laughing, talking, reminiscing, and really seeing how we'd each grown. It was SUCH a blessing to see her. A great way to start my break! I am so grateful that God didn't allow my other friend to help us, because Melanie and I needed to see each other. I believe we both refreshed each other.
 |
| Melanie and I in Dallas, TX |
ANYWHO!!!!
My break was amazing. I had a long long trip on wednesday, my best friend in Indiana Megan picked me up and surprised me by inviting another great friend of mine to a restaurant on our way from Indy to Illinois. We ate, laughed, took pics, and I was exhausted from not having slept the night before but OH SO HAPPY. Indiana/Illinois welcomed with with cold, grey, nasty weather, but you know what? I didn't care, it didn't even phase me. I was so overwhelmed with joy to be with Megan that the warmth in my heart radiated out through my spirit and nothing else mattered!
I spent an amazing thanksgiving break with Megan and her family in Illinois. Megan, her mother, and I did the whole waking up at 2:45am on black friday to do some crazy intense shopping. I was pretty much there for the experience, the rush, and moral support.
Friday night, we headed to Huntington and were able to hang out with a friend real quickly.
Saturday was going to be my only full day in Huntington and I woke feeling like crap :( I was frustrated because I wanted to see so many people and do so many things, but wasn't able to. It was a good day nonetheless, I was able to see a couple of very good friends.
Sunday was spent at the 509. The building where my church and I worship God, grow as individuals, as a community, and learn more about God through our relationships, convictions, and our Shepherd Matthew Brown.
I've spent 4 years worshipping with this community and it truly has allowed me to grow as a servant of Christ beyond belief. I am always filled with joy when I am there.
After service, we went to the community house and had a simple lunch food wise, but amazing lunch fellowship wise. Living in community. How much I miss that~ I got a sweet taste of what Heaven will someday be like :)
Sunday afternoon...after searching for hours for my lost wallet (i left it in plants outside of Megan's house. Go figure!) we picked up my good friend Eric and road tripped to Chicago.
A great roadtrip it was. Many tough questions and discussions about our faith and who we are. It was intense, especially since we were all exhausted, it made it harder to concentrate, but definitely good.
 |
| Eric, Megan, and myself after our roadtrip |
THEN....I GOT TO SEE MY PARENTS!!!! :D for the first time in a year. It was sooo good. Unfortunately we got there late, and despite their extreme fatigue they stayed up for 2 hours with me. THe next mornging I had to fly back out to Dallas, meaning I only got 2 more hours with them on monday morning. A total of 4 hours with my parents was definitely better than nothing.
Oh how God works in mysterious ways. What are the odds...that my parents and I would be 4 hours away from each other on the same weekend in the same place!?!?!? BLESSED!
SOOO that was my break.
Work has been good. We are all getting to a point where we are tired, and anxious to know about next semester and want to start planning our Xmas breaks, but we understand that our boss has been very busy. God's been working muchos muchos patience in our hearts.
I thought I was going to be all sad and depressed coming back to the job after being with so many loved ones but GOD IS SO FAITHFUL!!
Not only did I get to relax with Melanie monday night when she picked me up from the airport, but God was able to bless us with an easy setup/school on tuesday morning, AND He allowed me to find the PERFECT SPOT for our stay in Arkansas.
We have been staying at the Willow Beach Motel in Hot Springs Arkansas. Our room is a cute little spot with a kitchen, and an amazing view of Lake Hamilton. We have a floating dock right outside of our room.
I've woken up extremely early for the past two morning watching the sunrise and what a peaceful and humbling way to start the day. I AM SO BLESSED. GOD IS SO FAITHFUL!!!!!!!
This time of the year has come. Yesterday morning I found out news that will have a huge effect on whether I stay in the US next year or not.
At first, it seemed surreal and I couldn't even think straight, but then I realized what was happening. It was that time of the year in my life again. And instead of freaking out, I got sort of excited. I thought to myself. Oh my Goodness! God is going to be glorified through this.
Either a new step in my life is about to happen, which is beyond exciting to know I'm moving forward with life OR God is truly going to manifest his glory through this!
You see, I've been extremely blessed growing up. I grew up in a missionary family, we've never been wealthy or anwhere near it. So growing up, I never expected to make a lot of money in the futur. I knew what it was like to live day by day, month by month completely relying on God's providing.
This is one of the best gifts (other than this son) that God could have given me as a human being. My whole life, I've witnessed LIVE God's providing whatever was needed in my family. It seemed so normal and simple. It was kind of like common sense. Like "Oh something's not right, or we don't have money, or we can't do this so automatically go to God...duuuh."
I know it's not that simle, but it really is. I was blessed to see His miraculous works in my parent's life who have been the most amazing example of living by faith and not by sight. I am SO thankful for that.
This is why I am the worry free person that I am today. Sometimes it gets me in trouble because I believe sooo much that God will take care of something that sometimes I just sit on my butt and do nothing to solve whatever it is.
I just bought a devotional book yesterday called "21 minutes for 21 days." The very first chapter talks about faith. How perfectly appropriate for the news I got that day.
The author says "If you are waiting for someone else to solve your problems or if you are waiting for God to patch things up by Himself, you may become impatien, despondents, or both. But when you stop waiting and start working, God has a way of pitching in and finishing the job. Believe in the Lord and He will do half of the work...the last half."
So what I need from you right now is prayer. Please pray for wisdom, guidance, and definitely discipline to keep seeking God's will at this very important in my life.
It's easy to focus on the negative right now. I have no money, I have no family in the US, I'm not using my passion (in photography and videography) the way I was hoping I would by now, I am single..bla bla bla bla...BUT I choose not to. I chose to look up to the Heavens and rejoice. Rejoice for He will do something big in my life....He will continue to allow me to grow in, with, and through HIM.
Here are a few quotations concerning faith that really encouraged me, and I hope that they encourage you as well.
"Faith is seeing light with the eyes of your heart, when the eyes of your body see only darkness. (Barbara Johnson)
"For we walk by faith, not by sight." (2Cor 5:7)
"Teach us to set our hopes on heaven, to hold firmly to the promise of eternal life, so that we can withstand the struggles and storms of this world." (Max Lucado)
The author of this devotional reminds us that "If you don't have faith, you'll never move mountains. But if you do have faith, there's no limit to the things that you and God , working together, can accomplish.
AMEN to THAT!!!
God bless you all :D
Do
Thursday, November 11, 2010
The Journey resumes
November 11th
Readers,
In French, I would say "Trop c'est Trop!" (literal translation would be: "too much is too much") basically meaning. ENOUGH!!
It's been to long :(
Honestly last week was one of the hardest weeks yet. For multiple reasons, all jampacked in one week, and for those of you who know me well, when things aren't going "my way" I usually retreat, become MIA (translation for mom: ca veut dire missing in action, je disparais quoi), and I keep to myself until I get out of my pity box or things get better.
So, I basically did to you my dear reader what I tend to do in real life to whoever is near me. I retreated, kept to myself, and decided not to write on this blog until I decided I could come out of my pity box, and when things got better.
For that, I apologize. But at the same time, the whole point of this blog as I said in one of my very first entries is to encourage you with my experiences on this journey, not to discourage you by pouring out my sad, pitiful, filled with sorrow life. (that was definitely and exageration). So when things are dark and the clouds consume me, I don't want to share the thunder, lightning, and let the rain pour out on you. I like to wait till the sun comes back out so I can share its light and joy with you all, if that makes any sense.
I decided I wouldn't go into details of various happenings of my last week, but I'm sure some of you were able to see my statuses and sort of kept up with my state of mind at the time. A lot of you in fact really truly encouraged me and prayed for me after seeing some of my statuses. Such statuses as:
"Oh Heavens...no phone for a couple of weeks. what am i going to do on the road now? :("
"I would scream at the top of my lungs right now BUT I am in a public place. crap."
"After a long day...all I want to do is get on the phone and talk to some peeps but I just realized I think I forgot my chargor in the motel we were at 2 nights ago. sad sad day."
"does anyone know where I could purchase a time traveler??"
"Dorina Oliveira is blaaaaaah"
Ok Ok you get the point. A lot of you read these and were absolutely encouraging and prayed for me and for that I am extremely thankful.
Well as far as my phone is concerned, I forgot my charger (which I found out the hard way was a very rare charger apparently) in a motel last week, and over the weekend was phoneless for 5 days. We went to my coworker's friends' house in Haviland over the weekend and it was just very hard for me to be there without a phone. I was extremely happy for her to be with familiar faces in a familiar place, but I couldn't help but envy it, and the lack of phone just made it all the harder to cope with it all.
Um another thing about last week is I found out once again that some people in my life aren't true friends and it was hurtful yet very necessary. The way I see it is as if I am taking garbage to a dumpster. I know this sounds kind of harsh, but so many times we sacrifice ourselves for people we care for, and when we don't get anything in return, we realize the truth of the matter and it's kind of refreshing in the midst of the pain to be able to come to terms with it and stop allowing these people to take from you without giving in return you know?
Well these are two small instances out of many ones that happened last week. I got to a point where you hit a wall and know you can get over it, but you just don't have the strength or desire to climb it. It was hard. I was discouraged. Tired. Overwhelmed. Lonely. Ready to quit.
The beauty of it is that God did not give me (or any of us) the spirit of a quitter or a failure. No matter how hard we try, we will fail, but we just get up and get back on track.
SO the journey resumes.
In fact I just read in Max Lucado and he reminds us that God never lets us fall. That wall that I faced and was to tired to climb, well God gave me a harness (the Holy Spirit), a rope (His word), and a guide (Himself).
"My first steps on this journey were strong and confident, but with the journey came weariness, and with the height came fear. I lost my footing. I lost my focus. I lost my grip, and I fell. For a moment, which seemed like forever, I tumbled wildly. Out of self-control. Disoriented. Dislodged. Falling. But then the rope tightened, and the tumbling ceased. I hung in the harness and found it to be strong. I grasped the rope, and found it to be true. I looked at my guide and found Jesus securing my soul. With a sheepish confession I smiled at him and he smiled at me and the journey resumed."
Max Lucado
Yes the journey resumes. I'm back. And what do I do at the end of my journey? I thank Him who allowed me not to fall and helped me back up.
After getting back on the journey, I felt refreshed and actually tuesday morning, I woke up excited. It was our first time since friday to present a show in a school again. We had three showings in two schools. I woke up pumped. I prayed that morning asking God to allow Tiff and I to use every ounce of strenght and energy to do the best we could in order to impact kids. I wanted to be used by God. It was the cry of my heart that morning.
After a couple very frustrating set ups, I felt annoyed, and once again forgot why I was doing this. It's so easy to lose track of our purpose when we take our eyes off a Jesus. But when our heart is in the right place, God is quick to put our eyes right back where they need to be looking.
That afternoon, after all of our shows were done, we had to rush our tear down in order to let the volleyball coach set up the net on the gym.
In the midst of my rushing and telling kids what to do while attempting to be productive myself, a highschool girl comes up to me and says. "I am sorry to bother you, I know you are busy with tearing down and all but I just wanted to talk to you for a few seconds." Right that moment, I dropped whatever I was doing and gave her my full attention while smiling and saying "Not a problem at all! What's up?"
She then opened up by talking about how she has been diagnosed with cancer and has had a really hard time at school because not only does she get teased now, but the friends she once had now treat her like a "dead fish" and because of all of this she had decided to transfer from this school into a private school in december. The only problem with that is the fact that the private school wouldn't provide her with as good of an education as the one she was currently at. However, after watching the video, she felt motivated to stick it out, tough it up, and stay in this school because her education right now matters more than the way people treat her or whatever anyone thinks about her.
"Oh My God." was all I could think of. Praise you God. Thank you Lord. Halleluijah!
I thanked her for sharing, asked for her name, and told her I'd keep her in mind and pray for her. I just wanted to hug her, but that would've been inappropriate.
I was filled with SO much joy after that. I don't think Carlie realized how much she had impacted me and encouraged me by sharing that with me. I was so thankful to God for using Tiff and I to impact Carlie. So grateful.
If you guys could keep Carlie in your prayers as well, that'd be great.
I guess afterwards I was so happy that when we got gas on our way back to our motel, I went into the gas station to get our receipt, and the old man at the registar said "Well aren't you happy and cheery today??" I smiled and said "Oh, I guess...:)" and he said "Well you sure like it and it's definitely good to see!"
I guess I was so exuberant that a stranger not only noticed it but had to say something about it. I hadn't even realized.
Kids like Carlie, are the reason I do this job. The reason I put up with so much stuff. It makes it ALL worth it.
Thank you Lord for gently lifting my head head so I could set my eyes back on you, right when I was started to lose track again.
I don't know how many kids we impact, and just because we sometimes receive blank stares at the end of a show doesn't mean they didn't get something out of it. If kids don't come up to us at the end and tell us how the movie impacted us, it doesn't mean God didn't do great things in that school on that day.
I need to trust that if I give my all, God does the rest.
So I somewhat caught you up on most of the happenings of the past week and half.
We are currently in Texas (curently in George Bush' home town to be more precise), in which we will be until the end of the tour. Our boss is already thinking about next semester and where he is putting who and who is going to work with who. So if you could keep him in your prayers, it's a very intense part of the job. Very stressful, many decisions to be made and a lot of thinking and organizing in order to shift things smoothly.
I'm excited (in fact kind of impatient :/ ) to know where I'll be and who I'll work with next semester. Oh the suspense. It's aaaallll in God's hands, which I need to keep reminding myself!
By the way, I forgot to update you about the fact that I AM GOING TO INDIANA/ILLINOIS FOR THANKSGIVING. WOOHOOOOO!!!!!! I am so excited to go back to my church, see my most of my friends, and SEE MY PARENTS!! GOD IS GREAT!!
Thank you for your faithful prayers, He heard them :)
And another update was that two weekends ago, I was able to to stay in Nixa, MO which is where Tiffany and I had stayed at the beginning of the month of October. It was an amazing feeling to have all the deks workers and cleaning ladies remember me and and get so excited to see me. I hung out and talked with them quite a bit. They were like "don't leave!!!" haha.
I was also able to meet up with a former soccer teammate of mine from back when I played in college. We had great conversations and laughter over some yummy pizza. It was quite a good weekend!
Everything else went downhill from there haha. But I'm good to go now. :)
Be blessed and don't take your eyes off our guide who knows you by name is holding on to your rope and won't let you fall. not for a second.
much love,
DjO
Readers,
In French, I would say "Trop c'est Trop!" (literal translation would be: "too much is too much") basically meaning. ENOUGH!!
It's been to long :(
Honestly last week was one of the hardest weeks yet. For multiple reasons, all jampacked in one week, and for those of you who know me well, when things aren't going "my way" I usually retreat, become MIA (translation for mom: ca veut dire missing in action, je disparais quoi), and I keep to myself until I get out of my pity box or things get better.
So, I basically did to you my dear reader what I tend to do in real life to whoever is near me. I retreated, kept to myself, and decided not to write on this blog until I decided I could come out of my pity box, and when things got better.
For that, I apologize. But at the same time, the whole point of this blog as I said in one of my very first entries is to encourage you with my experiences on this journey, not to discourage you by pouring out my sad, pitiful, filled with sorrow life. (that was definitely and exageration). So when things are dark and the clouds consume me, I don't want to share the thunder, lightning, and let the rain pour out on you. I like to wait till the sun comes back out so I can share its light and joy with you all, if that makes any sense.
I decided I wouldn't go into details of various happenings of my last week, but I'm sure some of you were able to see my statuses and sort of kept up with my state of mind at the time. A lot of you in fact really truly encouraged me and prayed for me after seeing some of my statuses. Such statuses as:
"Oh Heavens...no phone for a couple of weeks. what am i going to do on the road now? :("
"I would scream at the top of my lungs right now BUT I am in a public place. crap."
"After a long day...all I want to do is get on the phone and talk to some peeps but I just realized I think I forgot my chargor in the motel we were at 2 nights ago. sad sad day."
"does anyone know where I could purchase a time traveler??"
"Dorina Oliveira is blaaaaaah"
Ok Ok you get the point. A lot of you read these and were absolutely encouraging and prayed for me and for that I am extremely thankful.
Well as far as my phone is concerned, I forgot my charger (which I found out the hard way was a very rare charger apparently) in a motel last week, and over the weekend was phoneless for 5 days. We went to my coworker's friends' house in Haviland over the weekend and it was just very hard for me to be there without a phone. I was extremely happy for her to be with familiar faces in a familiar place, but I couldn't help but envy it, and the lack of phone just made it all the harder to cope with it all.
Um another thing about last week is I found out once again that some people in my life aren't true friends and it was hurtful yet very necessary. The way I see it is as if I am taking garbage to a dumpster. I know this sounds kind of harsh, but so many times we sacrifice ourselves for people we care for, and when we don't get anything in return, we realize the truth of the matter and it's kind of refreshing in the midst of the pain to be able to come to terms with it and stop allowing these people to take from you without giving in return you know?
Well these are two small instances out of many ones that happened last week. I got to a point where you hit a wall and know you can get over it, but you just don't have the strength or desire to climb it. It was hard. I was discouraged. Tired. Overwhelmed. Lonely. Ready to quit.
The beauty of it is that God did not give me (or any of us) the spirit of a quitter or a failure. No matter how hard we try, we will fail, but we just get up and get back on track.
SO the journey resumes.
In fact I just read in Max Lucado and he reminds us that God never lets us fall. That wall that I faced and was to tired to climb, well God gave me a harness (the Holy Spirit), a rope (His word), and a guide (Himself).
"My first steps on this journey were strong and confident, but with the journey came weariness, and with the height came fear. I lost my footing. I lost my focus. I lost my grip, and I fell. For a moment, which seemed like forever, I tumbled wildly. Out of self-control. Disoriented. Dislodged. Falling. But then the rope tightened, and the tumbling ceased. I hung in the harness and found it to be strong. I grasped the rope, and found it to be true. I looked at my guide and found Jesus securing my soul. With a sheepish confession I smiled at him and he smiled at me and the journey resumed."
Max Lucado
Yes the journey resumes. I'm back. And what do I do at the end of my journey? I thank Him who allowed me not to fall and helped me back up.
After getting back on the journey, I felt refreshed and actually tuesday morning, I woke up excited. It was our first time since friday to present a show in a school again. We had three showings in two schools. I woke up pumped. I prayed that morning asking God to allow Tiff and I to use every ounce of strenght and energy to do the best we could in order to impact kids. I wanted to be used by God. It was the cry of my heart that morning.
After a couple very frustrating set ups, I felt annoyed, and once again forgot why I was doing this. It's so easy to lose track of our purpose when we take our eyes off a Jesus. But when our heart is in the right place, God is quick to put our eyes right back where they need to be looking.
That afternoon, after all of our shows were done, we had to rush our tear down in order to let the volleyball coach set up the net on the gym.
In the midst of my rushing and telling kids what to do while attempting to be productive myself, a highschool girl comes up to me and says. "I am sorry to bother you, I know you are busy with tearing down and all but I just wanted to talk to you for a few seconds." Right that moment, I dropped whatever I was doing and gave her my full attention while smiling and saying "Not a problem at all! What's up?"
She then opened up by talking about how she has been diagnosed with cancer and has had a really hard time at school because not only does she get teased now, but the friends she once had now treat her like a "dead fish" and because of all of this she had decided to transfer from this school into a private school in december. The only problem with that is the fact that the private school wouldn't provide her with as good of an education as the one she was currently at. However, after watching the video, she felt motivated to stick it out, tough it up, and stay in this school because her education right now matters more than the way people treat her or whatever anyone thinks about her.
"Oh My God." was all I could think of. Praise you God. Thank you Lord. Halleluijah!
I thanked her for sharing, asked for her name, and told her I'd keep her in mind and pray for her. I just wanted to hug her, but that would've been inappropriate.
I was filled with SO much joy after that. I don't think Carlie realized how much she had impacted me and encouraged me by sharing that with me. I was so thankful to God for using Tiff and I to impact Carlie. So grateful.
If you guys could keep Carlie in your prayers as well, that'd be great.
I guess afterwards I was so happy that when we got gas on our way back to our motel, I went into the gas station to get our receipt, and the old man at the registar said "Well aren't you happy and cheery today??" I smiled and said "Oh, I guess...:)" and he said "Well you sure like it and it's definitely good to see!"
I guess I was so exuberant that a stranger not only noticed it but had to say something about it. I hadn't even realized.
Kids like Carlie, are the reason I do this job. The reason I put up with so much stuff. It makes it ALL worth it.
Thank you Lord for gently lifting my head head so I could set my eyes back on you, right when I was started to lose track again.
I don't know how many kids we impact, and just because we sometimes receive blank stares at the end of a show doesn't mean they didn't get something out of it. If kids don't come up to us at the end and tell us how the movie impacted us, it doesn't mean God didn't do great things in that school on that day.
I need to trust that if I give my all, God does the rest.
So I somewhat caught you up on most of the happenings of the past week and half.
We are currently in Texas (curently in George Bush' home town to be more precise), in which we will be until the end of the tour. Our boss is already thinking about next semester and where he is putting who and who is going to work with who. So if you could keep him in your prayers, it's a very intense part of the job. Very stressful, many decisions to be made and a lot of thinking and organizing in order to shift things smoothly.
I'm excited (in fact kind of impatient :/ ) to know where I'll be and who I'll work with next semester. Oh the suspense. It's aaaallll in God's hands, which I need to keep reminding myself!
By the way, I forgot to update you about the fact that I AM GOING TO INDIANA/ILLINOIS FOR THANKSGIVING. WOOHOOOOO!!!!!! I am so excited to go back to my church, see my most of my friends, and SEE MY PARENTS!! GOD IS GREAT!!
Thank you for your faithful prayers, He heard them :)
And another update was that two weekends ago, I was able to to stay in Nixa, MO which is where Tiffany and I had stayed at the beginning of the month of October. It was an amazing feeling to have all the deks workers and cleaning ladies remember me and and get so excited to see me. I hung out and talked with them quite a bit. They were like "don't leave!!!" haha.
I was also able to meet up with a former soccer teammate of mine from back when I played in college. We had great conversations and laughter over some yummy pizza. It was quite a good weekend!
 |
| Brenda and I in Nixa, MO |
Everything else went downhill from there haha. But I'm good to go now. :)
Be blessed and don't take your eyes off our guide who knows you by name is holding on to your rope and won't let you fall. not for a second.
much love,
DjO
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Sabbath. Day of rest and revelations!
Hi. :)
WOAH! OMG. I'm quite excited. What a refreshing Sabbath!!
So, last night, when I blogged about Isaiah 58 and all that, I was blogging and didn't feel like much flowed, in fact I was wondering what I was typing and why. I still was very grateful for the reminder I got about "it's not about me, it's about others and definitely God" but other than that, I felt like it all kind of came out of nowhere."
Well, after reading/blogging last night, I was on the phone with my amazing friend Megan and she told me to read Hebrews 11. So, I promised her that I would and I did that this morning before going to "The Bridge," the same church I'd been a month ago when I recently blogged about "CRAZY LOVE."
PS: we are in the same town as we were a month ago, which is so refreshing and relaxing!
So anywho, this morning, I wake up, get my coffee, go downstairs for breakfast and start talking with the desk lady. We'd talked quite a bit last time I was here in Nixa, so we just started back off where we'd last left off.
She told me her father was an incredible man who decided to hitchhike one day and move to Nicaragua to become a missionary. He packed a tall military bag and just left. He lived in tents and eventually got married and has kids there now.
His hope now is to move to Peru and use his agriculture degree to teach the Peruvians how to use agriculture to hopefully make means, which I think is phenomenal.
It got me thinking about what I someday want to do, and how much I respect it when people have a passion and use that passion wholeheartedly for God, and those who need to benefit from that skill or knowledge. I think it's great when people become missionaries simply to preach the Word and save lives spiritually, but I think it's all the more amazing when people use physical needs as well as a means to reach out to the needy. So, that was a cool story I got to hear.
Then, I decided to read Hebrews 11, which is a reccord of all the great men and women in the Bible who have become famous through their faithfulness. Faith. So important. So crucial in our lives. The fact that these great names were able to get to that point in their lives is that they were focused on an eternal prize. A lot of them ended up not receiving the promise they were reaching for in the end, but that didn't matter to them because they were focused on God and spending eternity with Him someday. That was their reward. They had that vision. That out of the world faith that "gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Through their faith, the people in days of old earned a good reputation." (Heb 11: 1-2)
I asked the desk lady to read verses 8 through 10: "It was by faith that ABraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going And even when he reached the land God proised him he lived there by faith, for he was like a foreigher, living in tens. Ans so did Isaac and Jaccob who inherited the same promise. Abraham was fonidently looking forward to a city with eternal foundations, a city designed by God."
She smiled and told me she got goosebumps after reading because the reason I had her read it is because when I read it, it reminded me of her father and what he'd done.
The other day, I checked my "what does God want you to know today" facebook application and it said:
"God wants you to know that infinite possibilities are born of faith. Do you think that's air you breathe; that's earth you walk on. All matter is God's creation. And the source is faith. When you have so much faith that you become one of faith, infinite possibilities open up to you."
What that reminded me that day was what I had blogged about when I talked about faith being a gift from God and when we accept it, our eyes open up to SO much more. We find ways to love the unlovable, see the unseen, believe in the impossible.
I'm going somewhere with all of this :)
This morning, we went to the Bridge and the pastor talks about how they've been reading out of the book Crazy Love and how chapter 7 was all about giving to the needy and having a certain vision and faith like the faith of the people that are named in Hebrews 11. So at this point, I'm like "wooah, I just read about this this morning! Crazy!"
I guess the title of chapter 7 is "the best life is later."
So then, the pastor goes on talking about how the gospel that we believe in is one focused on HIm and what He's done for us. What he wants from us, not what we want. How this Christian life is difficult because we are constantly torn between what we want (the flesh) and what He wants (the Spirit). It's not about us nor should it ever be, and as Christians we are called to be givers and not consumers.
He talks about this same vision I had read about that morning and goes on saying that the names in Hebrews 11 had a vision for the after life.The nomades and the travelers were focused on the eternal perspective that enabled them to endure anyting that this life brough their way. They focus was on something higher, the prize.
Then he went on talking about love again, and that crazy love that we receive from God. The only way we can love the way God loves us (all of us) is if we have that same vision and heart that these people had as well. God loves us all, every single one of us, but he also has a heart for the poor, the needy, the hungry, the widows, the orphans. We see that numerous times in the Bible.
He read out of Proverbs 31
8-9 "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless and see that they get justice."
This is God's heart. This should also be our heart.
So at this point of the sermon, I'm thinking "um....that's exactly what I blogged about yesterday. this is getting beyond crazy ridiculous and cool!"
This vision that is provided by faith leads to conviction. It's easy to overlook those in need. A lot of times we do things out of selfishly generous thought. And by that I mean that we do generous things to be seen, receive approval, and be praised. So in the end not only do we get expectations from these things, but we are doing them for ourselves more than for the person we are being generous towards. I'll be the first one to admit that I do that. When we don't get praises, we get frustrated, like "what the heck, why is no one grateful for this," or "what was the point of me even doing that?" you know?
Another point the pastor touched on was how important it is to balance the scale out for others.
This was really cool, I was able to relate with this point really well because I hear about it at least 4 times a week since one of the videos we show to kids is called "Balance of Power." It's all about fairness and equality and how most times life isn't fair, but the way we respond to the things coming our way determines the outcomes for ourselves and the people around us. How instead of being discouraged by unfairness, we should use it as a way to balance the scales out and make right decisions since they affect everyone around us, and become better people through them.
So the pastor talking about balancing scales hit home base for me. He meant that a lot of times, we overlook the needs of others and feed into our wants more than in the needs of others. It's easy to shut our eyes off to what people need simply so we can fulfill our wants BUT if we have that vision from God, our eyes open up to those in need and our heart transform to break for the things that break God's heart.
ok this gets crazy. THEN the pastor busts out Isaiah 58, which I'm like OMG God is amazing. The very thing I was blogging about last night without fully understanding where it was coming from was all to prepare me for this morning's message :D
Isaiah 58. The Israelites were doing everything they thought they should be doing. Everything that was written down in the law, but didn't get anything in return and were annoyed.
Isaiah 58:2 talks about the Israelites' actions. "Yet they act so pious! They come to the Temple every day and seem delighted to learn all about me. They act like arighteous nation that would never abandon the laws of its God. They ask me to take action on their behalf, pretending they want to be near me.
They say: "We have fasted before you! Why aren't you impressed?"
This verse reminded me of two things. First it lead me to Romans 2 where it talks about the Jews who rely on God's law and are terrible examples to the Gentiles mainly because they "follow" the law but lack the faith and heart that is needed there. They preach but don't act according to their word. They act as if they are righteous but instead lead people astray. (I blogged about this in September).
The second thing that was revealed to me when we read the first couple of verses from Isaiah 58 was something that Max Lucado wrote about in "A gentle thunder."
Max talks about the Holy Spirit and it's so easy for a lot of people to read the Word, go to "Church" (we are the Church, but you know what I mean) and do things that are told to be done, but in the end leave the Holy Spirit out of it and end up falling flat on their faces. I loved the illustration Max uses when he describes this type of living as dancing without any music.
These people view the Bible as an instruction book to teach how to live (or dance) and they are so focused on the things to do that they forgot all about what matters. God. And His heart. They end up learning all the moves, the footsteps, writing it all down. Following it rule by rule, instruction by instruction. But in the end, they forget to turn the music on. Max says this "We Christians are prone to follow the book while ignoring the music. We master the doctrine, outline the chapters, memorize the dispensations, debate the rules, and stiffly step down the dance floor of life with no music in our hearts. We measure each step, calibrate each turn, and flop into bed each night exhausted from another day of dancing by the book."
How true is that? How sad is that to.
So anyways, back to the sermon.
The Israelites are doing what they think is right. What they thought they were supposed to do and didn't receive anything from God in return... Remember how at the beginning of this entry I talked about how easy it is for us to do things expecting something in return because we give for selfish reasons. Well that's exactly what the Israelites were doing. They were dancing with no music on.
Isaiah 58:6-7 talks about God's view of what should be done and why it should be done. "Free those who are wrongly imprisoned, lighten the burden of those who work for you. Let the oppressed go free, and remove the chains that bind people. Share your food with the hungry, and gie shleter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help."
THat's God's heart right there. Justice and equality. Freedom.
When we get this vision and become one of faith, our heart breaks for these same things.
Before, we either gave out of pity or selfish motives, but now that we are a new creation and are after God's heart, we give out of LOVE. Just like God gave us out of love. God didn't pity us. He didn't want anything from us when he sacrificed his Son. He did it all because he loved us. Now we are to give because we are filled with that same love and the vision has led us to conviction.
Along with this, the pastor (and the chapter of Isaiah 58)is focusing on giving physical things such as money, clothes, food, etc... But I believe this also goes into giving away time, love, care or whatever we have to offer anyone in need. God's love for us is so crazy that He gave us patience, love, His life, His Holy Spirit, faith, eternity, and so much more. So if we are made in God's image, and we love Him so passionately, why can't we give patience, love, our lives, our faith and beliefs, our listening ear, and whatever else to others?
It sounds so much easir than it actually is. But isn't that what life is all about. Challenging ourselves to continuously become better people. I have a really good friend who amazes me. He is constantly trying to find ways of bettering himself. He refuses to settle. He refuses to be ok at something. The beauty of it isn't that he wants to be praised for it. He genuinely wants to give God the best of the best and His all. Talking to him fascinates me. For example tonight, I talked with him a bit about all of this, and he shared how there is someone in his life that has constantly hurt him and he found it hard to forgive them, but in the end he would always forgive because he felt like it was the right thing to do. Now he is able to forgive them because "it's become second nature to me, like it's normal to forgive him because I love him, and as a Christian I can't let his words affect me nor define me." This friend of mine challenges me to be better person and do better. I hope this blog can encourage and challenge you as well.
I'm not there yet, but I hope I can get there some day.
Isaiah 58: 8-9
Then your salvation will come like the dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal. Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind Then when you call, the Lord will answer: Yes I am here, he will quickly reply."
Wow, what a great promise. How phenomenal is our Father!??? There is to much joy in forgetting about ourselves and doing God's work. So much!
When we are able to have that heart, we no longer have those expectations anymore. We do because we are called to, just like Abraham, Jacob, Isaac, Joseph, Abel, Enoch, Noah, Moses, Sarah, and all these other people in the Bible were called for a specific task.
Let's not forget that the prize is Heaven. Nothing on this earth should satisfy us. Unfortunately a lot does. But, if we have that heart,vision, and faith the possibilites are endless.
Hebrews 11:39-40
All these people earned a good reputation because of their faith, yet none of them received all that God promised. For God had something better in mind for us, so that they would not reach perfection without us."
Hebrews 12: 1-2
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of fait, let us stip off every weight that slows us down, espeicaily the sin that so easily trips us up, And let us run with endurnce teh reace God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes focused on Jesus, the champion who initiantes and perfects our faith. Because of joy awaiting him, he endured the corss, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne."
BLESSINGS. I love you. Thanks for the prayers. :D
His servant,
Dorina Julia Oliveira
WOAH! OMG. I'm quite excited. What a refreshing Sabbath!!
So, last night, when I blogged about Isaiah 58 and all that, I was blogging and didn't feel like much flowed, in fact I was wondering what I was typing and why. I still was very grateful for the reminder I got about "it's not about me, it's about others and definitely God" but other than that, I felt like it all kind of came out of nowhere."
Well, after reading/blogging last night, I was on the phone with my amazing friend Megan and she told me to read Hebrews 11. So, I promised her that I would and I did that this morning before going to "The Bridge," the same church I'd been a month ago when I recently blogged about "CRAZY LOVE."
PS: we are in the same town as we were a month ago, which is so refreshing and relaxing!
So anywho, this morning, I wake up, get my coffee, go downstairs for breakfast and start talking with the desk lady. We'd talked quite a bit last time I was here in Nixa, so we just started back off where we'd last left off.
She told me her father was an incredible man who decided to hitchhike one day and move to Nicaragua to become a missionary. He packed a tall military bag and just left. He lived in tents and eventually got married and has kids there now.
His hope now is to move to Peru and use his agriculture degree to teach the Peruvians how to use agriculture to hopefully make means, which I think is phenomenal.
It got me thinking about what I someday want to do, and how much I respect it when people have a passion and use that passion wholeheartedly for God, and those who need to benefit from that skill or knowledge. I think it's great when people become missionaries simply to preach the Word and save lives spiritually, but I think it's all the more amazing when people use physical needs as well as a means to reach out to the needy. So, that was a cool story I got to hear.
Then, I decided to read Hebrews 11, which is a reccord of all the great men and women in the Bible who have become famous through their faithfulness. Faith. So important. So crucial in our lives. The fact that these great names were able to get to that point in their lives is that they were focused on an eternal prize. A lot of them ended up not receiving the promise they were reaching for in the end, but that didn't matter to them because they were focused on God and spending eternity with Him someday. That was their reward. They had that vision. That out of the world faith that "gives us assurance about things we cannot see. Through their faith, the people in days of old earned a good reputation." (Heb 11: 1-2)
I asked the desk lady to read verses 8 through 10: "It was by faith that ABraham obeyed when God called him to leave home and go to another land that God would him as his inheritance. He went without knowing where he was going And even when he reached the land God proised him he lived there by faith, for he was like a foreigher, living in tens. Ans so did Isaac and Jaccob who inherited the same promise. Abraham was fonidently looking forward to a city with eternal foundations, a city designed by God."
She smiled and told me she got goosebumps after reading because the reason I had her read it is because when I read it, it reminded me of her father and what he'd done.
The other day, I checked my "what does God want you to know today" facebook application and it said:
"God wants you to know that infinite possibilities are born of faith. Do you think that's air you breathe; that's earth you walk on. All matter is God's creation. And the source is faith. When you have so much faith that you become one of faith, infinite possibilities open up to you."
What that reminded me that day was what I had blogged about when I talked about faith being a gift from God and when we accept it, our eyes open up to SO much more. We find ways to love the unlovable, see the unseen, believe in the impossible.
I'm going somewhere with all of this :)
This morning, we went to the Bridge and the pastor talks about how they've been reading out of the book Crazy Love and how chapter 7 was all about giving to the needy and having a certain vision and faith like the faith of the people that are named in Hebrews 11. So at this point, I'm like "wooah, I just read about this this morning! Crazy!"
I guess the title of chapter 7 is "the best life is later."
So then, the pastor goes on talking about how the gospel that we believe in is one focused on HIm and what He's done for us. What he wants from us, not what we want. How this Christian life is difficult because we are constantly torn between what we want (the flesh) and what He wants (the Spirit). It's not about us nor should it ever be, and as Christians we are called to be givers and not consumers.
He talks about this same vision I had read about that morning and goes on saying that the names in Hebrews 11 had a vision for the after life.The nomades and the travelers were focused on the eternal perspective that enabled them to endure anyting that this life brough their way. They focus was on something higher, the prize.
Then he went on talking about love again, and that crazy love that we receive from God. The only way we can love the way God loves us (all of us) is if we have that same vision and heart that these people had as well. God loves us all, every single one of us, but he also has a heart for the poor, the needy, the hungry, the widows, the orphans. We see that numerous times in the Bible.
He read out of Proverbs 31
8-9 "Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves; ensure justice for those being crushed. Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless and see that they get justice."
This is God's heart. This should also be our heart.
So at this point of the sermon, I'm thinking "um....that's exactly what I blogged about yesterday. this is getting beyond crazy ridiculous and cool!"
This vision that is provided by faith leads to conviction. It's easy to overlook those in need. A lot of times we do things out of selfishly generous thought. And by that I mean that we do generous things to be seen, receive approval, and be praised. So in the end not only do we get expectations from these things, but we are doing them for ourselves more than for the person we are being generous towards. I'll be the first one to admit that I do that. When we don't get praises, we get frustrated, like "what the heck, why is no one grateful for this," or "what was the point of me even doing that?" you know?
Another point the pastor touched on was how important it is to balance the scale out for others.
This was really cool, I was able to relate with this point really well because I hear about it at least 4 times a week since one of the videos we show to kids is called "Balance of Power." It's all about fairness and equality and how most times life isn't fair, but the way we respond to the things coming our way determines the outcomes for ourselves and the people around us. How instead of being discouraged by unfairness, we should use it as a way to balance the scales out and make right decisions since they affect everyone around us, and become better people through them.
So the pastor talking about balancing scales hit home base for me. He meant that a lot of times, we overlook the needs of others and feed into our wants more than in the needs of others. It's easy to shut our eyes off to what people need simply so we can fulfill our wants BUT if we have that vision from God, our eyes open up to those in need and our heart transform to break for the things that break God's heart.
ok this gets crazy. THEN the pastor busts out Isaiah 58, which I'm like OMG God is amazing. The very thing I was blogging about last night without fully understanding where it was coming from was all to prepare me for this morning's message :D
Isaiah 58. The Israelites were doing everything they thought they should be doing. Everything that was written down in the law, but didn't get anything in return and were annoyed.
Isaiah 58:2 talks about the Israelites' actions. "Yet they act so pious! They come to the Temple every day and seem delighted to learn all about me. They act like arighteous nation that would never abandon the laws of its God. They ask me to take action on their behalf, pretending they want to be near me.
They say: "We have fasted before you! Why aren't you impressed?"
This verse reminded me of two things. First it lead me to Romans 2 where it talks about the Jews who rely on God's law and are terrible examples to the Gentiles mainly because they "follow" the law but lack the faith and heart that is needed there. They preach but don't act according to their word. They act as if they are righteous but instead lead people astray. (I blogged about this in September).
The second thing that was revealed to me when we read the first couple of verses from Isaiah 58 was something that Max Lucado wrote about in "A gentle thunder."
Max talks about the Holy Spirit and it's so easy for a lot of people to read the Word, go to "Church" (we are the Church, but you know what I mean) and do things that are told to be done, but in the end leave the Holy Spirit out of it and end up falling flat on their faces. I loved the illustration Max uses when he describes this type of living as dancing without any music.
These people view the Bible as an instruction book to teach how to live (or dance) and they are so focused on the things to do that they forgot all about what matters. God. And His heart. They end up learning all the moves, the footsteps, writing it all down. Following it rule by rule, instruction by instruction. But in the end, they forget to turn the music on. Max says this "We Christians are prone to follow the book while ignoring the music. We master the doctrine, outline the chapters, memorize the dispensations, debate the rules, and stiffly step down the dance floor of life with no music in our hearts. We measure each step, calibrate each turn, and flop into bed each night exhausted from another day of dancing by the book."
How true is that? How sad is that to.
So anyways, back to the sermon.
The Israelites are doing what they think is right. What they thought they were supposed to do and didn't receive anything from God in return... Remember how at the beginning of this entry I talked about how easy it is for us to do things expecting something in return because we give for selfish reasons. Well that's exactly what the Israelites were doing. They were dancing with no music on.
Isaiah 58:6-7 talks about God's view of what should be done and why it should be done. "Free those who are wrongly imprisoned, lighten the burden of those who work for you. Let the oppressed go free, and remove the chains that bind people. Share your food with the hungry, and gie shleter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help."
THat's God's heart right there. Justice and equality. Freedom.
When we get this vision and become one of faith, our heart breaks for these same things.
Before, we either gave out of pity or selfish motives, but now that we are a new creation and are after God's heart, we give out of LOVE. Just like God gave us out of love. God didn't pity us. He didn't want anything from us when he sacrificed his Son. He did it all because he loved us. Now we are to give because we are filled with that same love and the vision has led us to conviction.
Along with this, the pastor (and the chapter of Isaiah 58)is focusing on giving physical things such as money, clothes, food, etc... But I believe this also goes into giving away time, love, care or whatever we have to offer anyone in need. God's love for us is so crazy that He gave us patience, love, His life, His Holy Spirit, faith, eternity, and so much more. So if we are made in God's image, and we love Him so passionately, why can't we give patience, love, our lives, our faith and beliefs, our listening ear, and whatever else to others?
It sounds so much easir than it actually is. But isn't that what life is all about. Challenging ourselves to continuously become better people. I have a really good friend who amazes me. He is constantly trying to find ways of bettering himself. He refuses to settle. He refuses to be ok at something. The beauty of it isn't that he wants to be praised for it. He genuinely wants to give God the best of the best and His all. Talking to him fascinates me. For example tonight, I talked with him a bit about all of this, and he shared how there is someone in his life that has constantly hurt him and he found it hard to forgive them, but in the end he would always forgive because he felt like it was the right thing to do. Now he is able to forgive them because "it's become second nature to me, like it's normal to forgive him because I love him, and as a Christian I can't let his words affect me nor define me." This friend of mine challenges me to be better person and do better. I hope this blog can encourage and challenge you as well.
I'm not there yet, but I hope I can get there some day.
Isaiah 58: 8-9
Then your salvation will come like the dawn, and your wounds will quickly heal. Your godliness will lead you forward, and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind Then when you call, the Lord will answer: Yes I am here, he will quickly reply."
Wow, what a great promise. How phenomenal is our Father!??? There is to much joy in forgetting about ourselves and doing God's work. So much!
When we are able to have that heart, we no longer have those expectations anymore. We do because we are called to, just like Abraham, Jacob, Isaac, Joseph, Abel, Enoch, Noah, Moses, Sarah, and all these other people in the Bible were called for a specific task.
Let's not forget that the prize is Heaven. Nothing on this earth should satisfy us. Unfortunately a lot does. But, if we have that heart,vision, and faith the possibilites are endless.
Hebrews 11:39-40
All these people earned a good reputation because of their faith, yet none of them received all that God promised. For God had something better in mind for us, so that they would not reach perfection without us."
Hebrews 12: 1-2
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of fait, let us stip off every weight that slows us down, espeicaily the sin that so easily trips us up, And let us run with endurnce teh reace God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes focused on Jesus, the champion who initiantes and perfects our faith. Because of joy awaiting him, he endured the corss, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God's throne."
BLESSINGS. I love you. Thanks for the prayers. :D
His servant,
Dorina Julia Oliveira
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Fall
Oct 30th
Happy Halloween....for what it's worth....
Wow, I've only blogged like 7 times this month? hmm...slacker.
sorry...
Well, I am sitting at a starbucks sipping on a pumpkin spice latte listening to the Joshua Radin pandora music station and just soaking life in.
We've had a pretty intense week. Actually, not really. But in comparison to our previous weeks, it was.
We had more shows, and on friday we had a double school show, which requires us to set up and tear down twice in a day. At the end of our last show on friday, I proceeded to load the entire van by myself while Tiffany was repairing one of our fabrics. So I loaded the whole van, minus the box of frames she was working on.
Let me tell you that that was a workout!! I was so exhausted and sore afterwards! Gosh. But it was my fault. I could've just been patient and waited for her to finish repairing the fabric so she could help me, but I didn't.
Needless to say, I am still exhausted. Not much sleep this past week, and a lot of driving/setting up/tearing down. Tiffany even called me out on not being enthusiastic enough yesterday while I was doing one of my conclusions. I needed that.
Thankfully, we ended our show with an elementary school, which are my favorites. The only downfall is that they gave us 5th graders to help us set up, which was more tirering than helpful. They still made me laugh quite a bit though, minus the time a kid ran into one of our projector tables after I'd spent some time lining that projector up with our center projector.
Anyways, I am blabbering. I'm kind of just typing without even thinking about the words flowing through my fingers. I apologize for that, and will attempt to focus now.
So, lately I've been tired, distant, and just thinking a lot about nothing. My mind's been quite blank and I don't know why. I'm not sure whether it's the fatigue, or the fact that this job is draining, or the fact that I haven't spent time in the Word in a couple days. WHo knows.
Well my blogging just got interrupted by a three way skype with my sister and a really good friend. Filled with joy and laughter. I had to share :)
ANyways, as I told you, I've been kind of blank/numb/almost no ability to show any emotion. Joy, anger, sadness, enthusiasm, and that's very unlike me. So one of my favorite things to do when I feel this way is to go back to my journals for this specific reason:
(from my journal of 3 years ago, I was feeling much like I am "feeling" right now and decided to go to a coffee shop with my books, Bible, and journal much like I am doing now and here is what I wrote)
"When I am feeling like this, of course out of all of these books the one to go to is the Bible if I am seeking answers. Well, I forgot to mention a fourth book, it is usually the closest thing to you that you soon find to ignore.The book I have written myself. It's a book of 200 pages or more, the book of lessons, experiences, joy, sadness, and hardship. A book that God's used for me to pour out my heart but also to revive my spirits. A book of life, my life. It's my book. it has my name on it and it is filled with wisdom that the Holy Spirit Himself poured out on my heart nd allowed me to write. As I read past stories of the journal I am currently writing in, I received answers beyond answers. I am not saying that my journal is more important than the Bible or any ohter scholarly written book, but I've just realized that this journal is not only filled with scripture from the most important book written in the world, but also personal insight from my own thoughts and life experiences and even better; It contains the Holy Spirit's direct words to ME. It's a story of my friendship and relationship with Christ and so much H'es tuaght me and allowed me to jot down so that during difficult times like now, I can go back to these and be reminded that for 1. I've fone through this before and made it and 2. I can read the same words of encouraement I was given in the past to help me through it. This journal is so precious to me. At the end end of it, all I have is God. All of the people in this journal will someday pass, but God is constant and everlasting, neverending and neverchanging and in the end end He's always there through the good th ebad, the tough and the sad. HE IS.
So all of these questions I have, they are right here and so are the answers. I don't need to go searching any farther than that. I find joy in what I've written because it's woken me up, and I feel enlightened."
So alll of this to say, on top of praying and reading the word, one of my favorite things to do when I'm feeling down or confused, is reading through past journals because they really encourage me.
And also all of this to say that I read this before typing things out and it reminded me of something crucial. (2 year old journal):
"Isaiah 58: 7-9
Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter, when you see the naked, to clothe him ad not to turn away from your flesh and blood.
Then your light will break forth like the dawn and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of God will be your rear guard. Then you will call and the Lord will answer. You will cry for help, and He will say: Here I am."
I get it now, it's not about me. Lately I've been living a life of my own desires but He is reinding me that His ways are higher and this right here is what my selfish ways lead me towards and if I follow His ways, He has something much better planned for me. I must remember that it's not about me but it's about Him and others. It's about treating my family right, realizing that many have way more issues than I do and I sould be thankful before complaining or whining about anything because I have so many things to be grateful for. "
So there. A good reminder for me. and hopefully a good one for you as well. We all go through crap, but it's important to step outside of our box and think about what others might be going through before making a big deal about our issues.
Like I said, I have nothing to complain about, so I don't know why I'm feeling this way. Only God knows.
I know this wasn't anything new or that you've never heard before, but hopefully it was a good and necessary reminder. It was one for myself, that's for sure.
That's all I got for ya. Keep me in your prayers and please facebook me of comment on my blog and give me some prayer requests of your own.
Love,
D
PS: that's a pic I just took of myself . just felt like it randomly...I look tired. :)
Happy Halloween....for what it's worth....
Wow, I've only blogged like 7 times this month? hmm...slacker.
sorry...
Well, I am sitting at a starbucks sipping on a pumpkin spice latte listening to the Joshua Radin pandora music station and just soaking life in.
We've had a pretty intense week. Actually, not really. But in comparison to our previous weeks, it was.
We had more shows, and on friday we had a double school show, which requires us to set up and tear down twice in a day. At the end of our last show on friday, I proceeded to load the entire van by myself while Tiffany was repairing one of our fabrics. So I loaded the whole van, minus the box of frames she was working on.
Let me tell you that that was a workout!! I was so exhausted and sore afterwards! Gosh. But it was my fault. I could've just been patient and waited for her to finish repairing the fabric so she could help me, but I didn't.
Needless to say, I am still exhausted. Not much sleep this past week, and a lot of driving/setting up/tearing down. Tiffany even called me out on not being enthusiastic enough yesterday while I was doing one of my conclusions. I needed that.
Thankfully, we ended our show with an elementary school, which are my favorites. The only downfall is that they gave us 5th graders to help us set up, which was more tirering than helpful. They still made me laugh quite a bit though, minus the time a kid ran into one of our projector tables after I'd spent some time lining that projector up with our center projector.
Anyways, I am blabbering. I'm kind of just typing without even thinking about the words flowing through my fingers. I apologize for that, and will attempt to focus now.
So, lately I've been tired, distant, and just thinking a lot about nothing. My mind's been quite blank and I don't know why. I'm not sure whether it's the fatigue, or the fact that this job is draining, or the fact that I haven't spent time in the Word in a couple days. WHo knows.
Well my blogging just got interrupted by a three way skype with my sister and a really good friend. Filled with joy and laughter. I had to share :)
ANyways, as I told you, I've been kind of blank/numb/almost no ability to show any emotion. Joy, anger, sadness, enthusiasm, and that's very unlike me. So one of my favorite things to do when I feel this way is to go back to my journals for this specific reason:
(from my journal of 3 years ago, I was feeling much like I am "feeling" right now and decided to go to a coffee shop with my books, Bible, and journal much like I am doing now and here is what I wrote)
"When I am feeling like this, of course out of all of these books the one to go to is the Bible if I am seeking answers. Well, I forgot to mention a fourth book, it is usually the closest thing to you that you soon find to ignore.The book I have written myself. It's a book of 200 pages or more, the book of lessons, experiences, joy, sadness, and hardship. A book that God's used for me to pour out my heart but also to revive my spirits. A book of life, my life. It's my book. it has my name on it and it is filled with wisdom that the Holy Spirit Himself poured out on my heart nd allowed me to write. As I read past stories of the journal I am currently writing in, I received answers beyond answers. I am not saying that my journal is more important than the Bible or any ohter scholarly written book, but I've just realized that this journal is not only filled with scripture from the most important book written in the world, but also personal insight from my own thoughts and life experiences and even better; It contains the Holy Spirit's direct words to ME. It's a story of my friendship and relationship with Christ and so much H'es tuaght me and allowed me to jot down so that during difficult times like now, I can go back to these and be reminded that for 1. I've fone through this before and made it and 2. I can read the same words of encouraement I was given in the past to help me through it. This journal is so precious to me. At the end end of it, all I have is God. All of the people in this journal will someday pass, but God is constant and everlasting, neverending and neverchanging and in the end end He's always there through the good th ebad, the tough and the sad. HE IS.
So all of these questions I have, they are right here and so are the answers. I don't need to go searching any farther than that. I find joy in what I've written because it's woken me up, and I feel enlightened."
So alll of this to say, on top of praying and reading the word, one of my favorite things to do when I'm feeling down or confused, is reading through past journals because they really encourage me.
And also all of this to say that I read this before typing things out and it reminded me of something crucial. (2 year old journal):
"Isaiah 58: 7-9
Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter, when you see the naked, to clothe him ad not to turn away from your flesh and blood.
Then your light will break forth like the dawn and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of God will be your rear guard. Then you will call and the Lord will answer. You will cry for help, and He will say: Here I am."
I get it now, it's not about me. Lately I've been living a life of my own desires but He is reinding me that His ways are higher and this right here is what my selfish ways lead me towards and if I follow His ways, He has something much better planned for me. I must remember that it's not about me but it's about Him and others. It's about treating my family right, realizing that many have way more issues than I do and I sould be thankful before complaining or whining about anything because I have so many things to be grateful for. "
So there. A good reminder for me. and hopefully a good one for you as well. We all go through crap, but it's important to step outside of our box and think about what others might be going through before making a big deal about our issues.
Like I said, I have nothing to complain about, so I don't know why I'm feeling this way. Only God knows.
I know this wasn't anything new or that you've never heard before, but hopefully it was a good and necessary reminder. It was one for myself, that's for sure.
That's all I got for ya. Keep me in your prayers and please facebook me of comment on my blog and give me some prayer requests of your own.
Love,
D
PS: that's a pic I just took of myself . just felt like it randomly...I look tired. :)
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